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#1
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Four funerals in a year
Tomorrow will make it five in two years. OK, I missed one but my wife went. How about that for luck eh?
Early heart attack, pancreatic cancer, pancreatic cancer, old age, colorectal cancer.
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You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows - Robert A. Zimmerman |
#2
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That's unpleasant. Attending funerals is never something you want to get used to. I find the old age ones somewhat easier to deal with.
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1977 300d 70k--sold 08 1985 300TD 185k+ 1984 307d 126k--sold 8/03 1985 409d 65k--sold 06 1984 300SD 315k--daughter's car 1979 300SD 122k--sold 2/11 1999 Fuso FG Expedition Camper 1993 GMC Sierra 6.5 TD 4x4 1982 Bluebird Wanderlodge CAT 3208--Sold 2/13 |
#3
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I wish they could be a little more upbeat somehow. After all, its something everyone has to do, one way or another. I just went to one last week for a 18 year old kid from our old neighborhood - car crash. His parents took it very well and were introspective about it all, but the worst part was seeing his grandparents there. That hit me very hard.
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1985 380SE Blue/Blue - 230,000 miles 2012 Subaru Forester 5-speed 2005 Toyota Sienna 2004 Chrysler Sebring convertible 1999 Toyota Tacoma |
#4
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Yeah I've had enough of them. This one's a Catholic one. Here comes another Theodicy. Pretty much heard them all.
Jewish ones are the most gut wrenching. The Irish celebrate by drinking.
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You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows - Robert A. Zimmerman |
#5
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When my colleague in sociology died this year, his daughter gave a eulogy. She was obviously a devout Christian and in the eulogy she was trying to convince herself that her dad had really been a believer (when he showed no evidence of belief). It was heart wrenching.
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1977 300d 70k--sold 08 1985 300TD 185k+ 1984 307d 126k--sold 8/03 1985 409d 65k--sold 06 1984 300SD 315k--daughter's car 1979 300SD 122k--sold 2/11 1999 Fuso FG Expedition Camper 1993 GMC Sierra 6.5 TD 4x4 1982 Bluebird Wanderlodge CAT 3208--Sold 2/13 |
#6
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I worked in a mortuary for spending money for 3 years while I was in college, almost got in the business as a funeral director. At the time I really enjoyed the business, now I'm 40ish and the whole issue of death(mine specifically) seems more real to me now. I am really glad I didn't do it for a living. I understand that depression becomes a problem once a director starts burying his contemporaries...gets the potential for his own demise thrown in his face every day.
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2002 Ford ZX2 2 x 2013 Honda Civics |
#7
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On the other hand, if you spend a few years working in an ER, a Chemo facility, or an Alzheimers unit, you come to believe that there are worse things than dying.
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John 2003 Firemist Red/grey leather SL 500 2015 Palladium Silver/black mbtex GLK 350 1987 Smoke Silver/burgundy mbtex 300E Sportline (SOLD) Click to see 87 300E |
#8
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Not four funerals...but one aunt died sunday...one uncle had a stroke at the funeral home, and another aunt fell and brok her hip at the same funeral. All in 4 days.
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Proud owner of .... 1971 280SE W108 1979 300SD W116 1983 300D W123 1975 Ironhead Sportster chopper 1987 GMC 3/4 ton 4X4 Diesel 1989 Honda Civic (Heavily modified) --------------------- Section 609 MVAC Certified --------------------- "He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." - Friedrich Nietzsche |
#9
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Gotta love the Irish!
Quote:
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" We have nothing to fear but the main stream media itself . . . ."- Adapted from Franklin D Roosevelt for the 21st century OBK #55 1998 Lincoln Continental - Sold Max 1984 300TD 285,000 miles - Sold The Dee8gonator 1987 560SEC 196,000 miles - Sold Orgasmatron - 2006 CLS500 90,000 miles 2002 C320 Wagon 122,000 miles 2016 AMG GTS 12,000 miles |
#10
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This'll really cement my reputation but I think we lost something when we started paying other people to bury our family members. A lot of people have real trouble just coming up with the $5 to $10 thousand.
When my dad died in 2000, my mom and I went to the funeral home to get everything arranged. He had bought in on some kind of plan so these were the guys we were bound to go with. The front man was very smooth, a decent guy, but when they introduced us to the mortician, whoa man, she was a scary looking woman. I'm sure many, most morticians are fine people but this lady gave me the willies. Was way creepier looking than any woman on the Adam's family. I've read about guys who built their father's coffin out of simple wood, and dug the hole themselves, with friends (would be hard to arrange the legality of that I'll bet). I heard one guy on NPR describing doing something like that and he said it really helped with the grieving process. I guess most people are too freaked out about the thought of worms eating their body -- would rather be pickled and put in a concrete lined hole. I read one guy's take on that once: "The earth has sustained me these many years. I owe the earth one body." I want to be eaten by critters after I'm gone. Might find a touch of immortality behind that.
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1986 300SDL, 362K 1984 300D, 138K Last edited by cmac2012; 04-29-2006 at 03:00 AM. |
#11
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Quote:
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83 300SD.......sold 96 integra SE....sold 99 a4 quattro....sold 2001 IS300.......sold 2002 330i.........current. 2004 highlander limited....current. Last edited by RG5384; 04-29-2006 at 04:01 AM. |
#12
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well four in a year doesnt sound bad to me.
the toughest are when young people die. personally i dont mind going to funerals (excepting the ones for kids). you get to meet a lot of folks you rarely see and if the person isnt family you learn about them by meeting their family. it helps the grieving process. my dad died a little over a year ago. we have a big kindof loud family. loving though sometimes a bit insensitive to others (especially each other it seems). i was asked to talk about dad. dad had a pretty healthy outlook on death which i try to emulate. being christian we believe we are going to a better place. anyway, i decided to talk about fun things. my dad was a story teller. he was truthful but made it entertaining. he especially liked telling storys to kids. so i made a list of his storys with emphasis on the fun part of it. it was amazing how differently we each remembered the stories. there were a coulple in which harsh words were exchanged between siblings over details of dad's stories. but at the funeral it was nice. of course dad was 84 and had terminal bone cancer but died from kidney failure so was spared a lot of pain from the cancer so it was pretty easy to let go for his sake. i share the idea of a simple wooden box and letting my body go back to earth. but my family may be more comfy with a conventional funeral. some folks suffer when their loved ones bodies are creamated, for example. i also have become pretty good friends with a funeral director here who has a lovely old house/ funeral home. i have done at least eight architectural projects for him starting in about 1976. that has gradually also taken a lot of the mystery of death and funerals away for me too. i have always taken my kids along when a relative dies too, i feel it is a healthy thing for them to experience and try to treat it as a part of life. they always seemed pretty unaffected by it when they were little. i feel that if left home when their grandfather was buried, for example, would feel later to have been left out of an important event. death is a part of life, and we all just have to try to get over it and move on with our lives. if you lose a close person, of course, that is easier said than done. tom w
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[SIGPIC] Diesel loving autocrossing grandpa Architect. 08 Dodge 3/4 ton with Cummins & six speed; I have had about 35 benzes. I have a 39 Studebaker Coupe Express pickup in which I have had installed a 617 turbo and a five speed manual.[SIGPIC] ..I also have a 427 Cobra replica with an aluminum chassis. |
#13
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Quote:
I agree, dividing labor when it comes to death is alienating. It would be very therapeutic for me to cut the wood, hammer the nails, and dig the hole for a friend. Something about moving my body in the interests of grief would be helpful. I think if I managed a Home Depot I'd try a section with coffin building supplies and see what happened. There's a nun somewhere who designs coffins that can be used as a piece of furniture when you're alive and converted to a coffin upon death. I like that idea. Being buried in a box that was once my bookshelf would seem to be a fitting end. This isn't the one I had in mind, but the same idea: http://www.casketfurniture.com/casket_furniture.php Some years ago I saw a very cool solid copper casket at an estate sale. I don't think it ever had been used. It was in a house, as a piece of furniture. I've always regretted not buying it. It was only $125.
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1977 300d 70k--sold 08 1985 300TD 185k+ 1984 307d 126k--sold 8/03 1985 409d 65k--sold 06 1984 300SD 315k--daughter's car 1979 300SD 122k--sold 2/11 1999 Fuso FG Expedition Camper 1993 GMC Sierra 6.5 TD 4x4 1982 Bluebird Wanderlodge CAT 3208--Sold 2/13 Last edited by kerry; 04-29-2006 at 11:12 AM. |
#14
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One of the traditions we follow is that once the coffin has been put in place, family and others who want to, can drop a shovel full of dirt (or more) onto the coffin. The sound of dirt and especially rocks hitting the coffin makes an unforgettable reverberating drumming. It creates a very powerful moment, which is reflected in faces of those attending.
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...Tracy '00 ML320 "Casper" '92 400E "Stella" |
#15
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i have this image of the funerals in the cowboy movies, with the family and friends all putting a shovel in. and the minister saying "ashes to ashes dust to dust". it seems fitting and helpful with closure. i also like the 23 psalm, king james version.
tom w
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[SIGPIC] Diesel loving autocrossing grandpa Architect. 08 Dodge 3/4 ton with Cummins & six speed; I have had about 35 benzes. I have a 39 Studebaker Coupe Express pickup in which I have had installed a 617 turbo and a five speed manual.[SIGPIC] ..I also have a 427 Cobra replica with an aluminum chassis. Last edited by t walgamuth; 04-29-2006 at 05:12 PM. |
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