1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .
3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a-head.'
14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
15. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital.
When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'
16. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
17. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
18. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
19. A backward poet writes in-verse.
20. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.
21. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
22. Don't join dangerous cults, practice safe sects!

Is the gubmint getting all it's due outta you today, Bot?

__________________
" We have nothing to fear but the main stream media itself . . . ."- Adapted from Franklin D Roosevelt for the 21st century

OBK #55

1998 Lincoln Continental - Sold
Max 1984 300TD 285,000 miles - Sold
The Dee8gonator 1987 560SEC 196,000 miles - Sold
Orgasmatron - 2006 CLS500 90,000 miles
2002 C320 Wagon 122,000 miles
2016 AMG GTS 12,000 miles

Day off.

Heh. I'll be in playin' with NASA tomorrow and in da swamp on da weekend.

take your boots with you...

__________________
"It's normal for these things to empty your wallet and break your heart in the process."
2012 SLK 350
1987 420 SEL

Don't forget your rubbers!

__________________
" We have nothing to fear but the main stream media itself . . . ."- Adapted from Franklin D Roosevelt for the 21st century

OBK #55

1998 Lincoln Continental - Sold
Max 1984 300TD 285,000 miles - Sold
The Dee8gonator 1987 560SEC 196,000 miles - Sold
Orgasmatron - 2006 CLS500 90,000 miles
2002 C320 Wagon 122,000 miles
2016 AMG GTS 12,000 miles

Oh God. I just sent that list to a college professor friend of mine, that reels those off all the time and he is convulsing--thanks.

He has one when he comes to town and stays in my home we pass the beautiful Jewish Cemetery near by and he always remarks that when he was growing up, his dad always told him there was a lite at each grave and it was beautiful. When obligatorily someone asks what kind of lite seeing none visible, he replies an Israelite

I was wondering b/c I kept getting 'automatic replies' at 6am forward while I was getting ready for a hearing and thinking, damn, I thought one of the bennies was 9-5

Have fun at Stennis, and huntin'

Working on the weekend is not going to allow hunting.

Sorry, thought you meant you were hunting on the bayou--but duh--it is a little early, isn't it

My millet is going to die before Nov. 27 if we don't get some rain soon....