A Violent Kid - Page 3 - PeachParts Mercedes-Benz Forum

The Clk Man · #31 05-09-2009, 08:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by raymr

Thanks for the ideas and suggestions so far.

One time he was running around my house with an open cup of orange soda and I told him to drink it in the kitchen. He acted up and I really raised my voice and gave him a stern talking to. After that his mom didn't talk to me for a few days. Same thing happened to my wife, she literally pulled the car over and refused to drive to the amusement park until he apologized to everyone in the car for his bad behavior, which included spitting, biting, and swearing. He balked and finally gave in after 15 minutes. Same cold shoulder treatment after that. They both need help.

In this case, I think the Parents need to be diciplined. All I know that I raised my kids the way I thought they should be raised, and guess what they all turned out fine. That's more than I can say for MOST parents today. LOOK don't let ANYONE tell you how to raise your kids. If they need to be diciplened do it. When my kids were young and I knew that they had did something wrong I would tell them that if they lied to me, they would be punished. But if they told the truth even though they had done something bad, I would not punish them. and when they realized that, they always told me the truth. Even to this day they will tell me the truth and I ALWAYS help them through it. Maybe this would work for the troubled little boy in question.

The Clk Man · #32 05-09-2009, 09:06 PM

Now you guys have me on a rant. in the last several years the friends of my kids who haven't even seen my kids in years, stop by my shop and thank me and Vickie for giving them such good advice. Sometimes even their parents tell me the same thing.

Skid Row Joe · #33 05-09-2009, 09:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by raymr

Maybe somebody here has some insight or past experience?

My sister-in-law in LA has 2 kids. The boy is 8, the girl is 6. The boy has a history of bullying other kids. He is also very bossy at home, and if he doesn't get his way, he throws a major fit and starts hitting and punching anyone or anything in sight. His parents believe that they should give him free reign, and never tell him 'no'.

It is now to the point where he got kicked out of scouts and other after school activities, and his mom has to come to the school twice a day to deal with his bad behavior. He also now has a college-age mentor who stays with him through most of the school day to act as his grown-up 'buddy'. I don't think the kid has any real friends. Last week he was in the middle of a fight on the playground. The mentor and a teacher were holding him down, while that section of the school was evacuated. When they let him go, he wound up and punched the mentor in the face, resulting in a 3 day suspension.

The kid calls the shots at home, and he insults visitors without reprimand from his parents. He has never been spanked or even scolded. Just a cooing "let's do this instead" kind of thing. I'm afraid for her and whats going to happen when he's 15 or 16 and physically stronger than she is. I told her that her son should not be the boss of the house, and she agrees but she seems helpless as to what to do. His dad is developing a short fuse with all this and faces other personal issues. So far they have not tried any meds for ADD or hyperactivity. My gut instinct would be to give the kid a big smack across the face next time he acts up, just to reestablish the pecking order, but I wouldn't even try suggesting that.

I have run across many would be bullies, like the kid in your post..... Once challenged, they are without exception, spineless.

They generally carrying the bullying into adulthood. If I were you, I would avoid the kid. Spend your time trying to help people without parents. This kid obviously has deficiencies best addressed by his parents.

1stimer · #34 05-09-2009, 09:15 PM

I can't believe all this talk of "beating" children. I am all for discipline, but c'mon guys...slapping in the face.....sent to the basement for days....there are better ways to change behavior that don't involve the emotional scarring that you are suggesting. So, it's aggressive behavior we are trying to reduce and we will do that by more intense forms of aggression??? See my point?
There are such things as ODD, intermittent explosive disorder, etc. which can cause aggression, and can be treated both medically and behaviorally. Setting limits and boundaries does not require physical punishment to be administered.

The Clk Man · #35 05-09-2009, 09:24 PM

Go home man, you are talking about the extremes in diciplinig your children. That's why parents are afraid to dicipline their children, because of being arrested, and kids these days know that.

Carleton Hughes · #36 05-09-2009, 10:11 PM

When I started taking heart meds I had Intermittent Explosive Disorder so I suppose it Depends.

jplinville · #37 05-09-2009, 10:15 PM

I spank my kids when needed...and they still love me. More than that, they respect me as their dad and as an authority figure.

I am now over 1600 miles away from them and my ex STILL calls me to talk to the kids when the act out against her. all I generally have to do is remind them of the las ttime they were spanked, and why it happened. After that, they start acting right.

The fear of the punishment will keep most anyone on the straight and narrow.

You don't drink and drive because you know what will happen, right?

Skid Row Joe · #38 05-10-2009, 12:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jplinville

I spank my kids when needed...and they still love me. More than that, they respect me as their dad and as an authority figure.

I am now over 1600 miles away from them and my ex STILL calls me to talk to the kids when the act out against her. all I generally have to do is remind them of the las ttime they were spanked, and why it happened. After that, they start acting right.

The fear of the punishment will keep most anyone on the straight and narrow.

You don't drink and drive because you know what will happen, right?

My kind of Dad.

Good man, jplinville.

tonkovich · #39 05-10-2009, 12:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jplinville

I spank my kids when needed...and they still love me. More than that, they respect me as their dad and as an authority figure.

I am now over 1600 miles away from them and my ex STILL calls me to talk to the kids when the act out against her. all I generally have to do is remind them of the las ttime they were spanked, and why it happened. After that, they start acting right.

The fear of the punishment will keep most anyone on the straight and narrow.

You don't drink and drive because you know what will happen, right?

you are divorced and 1600 miles from your family, and yet you are an expert on child rearing? (or so should i say child beating?) uh, what's wrong with this picture?

bob_98sr5 · #40 05-10-2009, 01:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by raymr

On our last visit there, instead of saying goodbye and a hug, he said that he hopes our plane crashes on the way home.

seriously, this kid is the devil. to say that to house guests leaving for home?

what ever happened to getting a good ass kicking?

bob_98sr5 · #41 05-10-2009, 01:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tonkovich

you are divorced and 1600 miles from your family, and yet you are an expert on child rearing? (or so should i say child beating?) uh, what's wrong with this picture?

whats wrong with the picture is you getting personal b/c your views do not align with his.

maybe i missed it, but did he ever claim he was an expert? second, just b/c you dont believe in corporal punishment, is it right for you to get personal? you have no idea what/why he got divorced, why he's 1600 miles away, etc. perhaps hes in the military and things did not work out? i dont know...and neither do you.

Gurkha · #42 05-10-2009, 01:30 AM

Big time fault of parents here, have seen it happen once too often. Too late for violence or harsh talk, what he needs to to be made aware of his options and priorities, sort of reward and priviledges policy. If you misbehave, then you loose your priviledges. If that don't work out, time for some shock therapy for both kid and parents.

tankdriver · #43 05-10-2009, 01:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by raymr

Thanks for the ideas and suggestions so far.

One time he was running around my house with an open cup of orange soda and I told him to drink it in the kitchen. He acted up and I really raised my voice and gave him a stern talking to. After that his mom didn't talk to me for a few days. Same thing happened to my wife, she literally pulled the car over and refused to drive to the amusement park until he apologized to everyone in the car for his bad behavior, which included spitting, biting, and swearing. He balked and finally gave in after 15 minutes. Same cold shoulder treatment after that. They both need help.

Nicely done. And without hitting.

#44 05-10-2009, 01:54 AM

Adoption. j/k j/k

tonkovich · #45 05-10-2009, 02:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bob_98sr5

whats wrong with the picture is you getting personal b/c your views do not align with his.

maybe i missed it, but did he ever claim he was an expert? second, just b/c you dont believe in corporal punishment, is it right for you to get personal? you have no idea what/why he got divorced, why he's 1600 miles away, etc. perhaps hes in the military and things did not work out? i dont know...and neither do you.

uh, "corporal punishment" is illegal, last time i checked. we call it assault/battery.

has nothing to do with my "ideas", just happens to be the law.

(see, nothing personal about it

)