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Old 05-10-2009, 09:09 PM
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Funny commander in chief

President Barack Obama gets laughs at White House Correspondents' Dinner
Updated Sunday, May 10th 2009, 9:43 AM

President Barack Obama pokes some gentle fun at politicians and the press at the annual White House Correspondents' Association dinner.

Actress Eva Longoria Parker enjoyed what she heard from the President. See what other celebs turned up ...
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He brought down the house!
President Obama, playing the comic-in-chief, had the celebrity-packed crowd at the White House Correspondents' dinner rolling out of their seats Saturday night as he skewered Republicans, Vice President Biden and even Hizzoner.
"In the next hundred days, I will meet with a leader who rules over millions with an iron fist, who owns the airwaves and uses his power to crush all who would challenge his authority in the ballot box," Obama said, before pausing.
"It's good to see you, Mayor Bloomberg."
Displaying a different kind of audacity, Obama even used the White House's botched photo op over New York City as comedic fodder. The incident, involving military planes trailing a low-flying jetliner, terrified scores of New Yorkers.
"Sasha and Malia aren't here tonight because they're grounded," Obama said. "You can't just take Air Force One on a joy ride to Manhattan. I don't care whose kids you are."
Secretary of State Clinton wasn't spared, either.
Quoting his former Democratic rival, Obama said Clinton wooed Arlen Specter to the Democratic Party by whispering, "Arlen, you know what I always say, 'If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.'"
Obama then joked that when Clinton returned from Mexico in the days just before the swine flu epidemic emerged, she embraced him warmly. Too warmly.
"The second she got back from Mexico, she pulled me into a hug and gave me a big kiss and told me I better get down there myself," Obama riffed.
The annual black-tie dinner drew an astonishing cast of Hollywood A-listers. Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore were there. Singers Sting and Jon Bon Jovi had seats. And a virtual who's who of film and TV stars mixed it up with the smattering of journalists in attendance.
Still, the star of the night was the President, who seemed to particularly delight in skewering Republicans.
"Dick Cheney was supposed to be here, but he is very busy working on his memoirs, tentatively titled, 'How to Shoot Friends and Interrogate People.'"
Obama playfully savaged House Minority Leader John Boehner (R-Ohio), whose apparent fake tan has long been the butt of jokes inside the Beltway.
"We have a lot in common: He is a person of color," Obama joked. "Although not a color that appears in the natural world."
Several of Obama's barbs were directed at members of his own administration. The President, dressed in a black tuxedo, said he cut the tension of being in the White House by bringing in "a new friend."
"He's warm, he's cuddly, loyal, enthusiastic; you just have to keep him in on a tight leash - every once in a while he goes charging off and gets himself into trouble," Obama said, seemingly referring to his new pooch, Bo.
"Enough about Joe Biden."
Obama also poked fun at his admirers, who have been criticized for expressing an almost God-like devotion to the President.
"I believe that my next 100 days will be so successful I will be able to complete them in 72 days," Obama said. "And on the 73rd day, I'm going to rest."
Following Obama was sharp-tongued comedian Wanda Sykes, who took often-biting jibes at the President, conservative commentator Rush Limbaugh and the media.
"It's funny how they never caught you smoking, but they somehow always catch you with your shirt off," Sykes said, referring to the numerous photos of Obama's toned physique. "I know you're into this whole transparency thing, but I don't need to see your nipples ... there was never a nipple portrait of Lincoln!"
Sykes' most vicious jabs were reserved for Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin and Limbaugh, who has been among Obama's fiercest critics.
"I think Rush Limbaugh was the 20th hijacker but he was just so strung out on OxyContin he missed his flight," Sykes said. "He needs a good waterboarding - that's what he needs."
Sykes noted that Palin was scheduled to attend the dinner, but then "pulled out at the last minute."
"Somebody should tell her that's not really how you practice abstinence," Sykes said.

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Enough about me, how are you doing?
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Old 05-11-2009, 08:21 AM
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He's my hero - not only can he single handedly save the world, but he can give you a smile too. I wonder how funny he'd be in front of an NRA meeting?
- Brian

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Old 05-11-2009, 08:34 AM
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He can do no wrong - for now...
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Old 05-11-2009, 08:56 AM
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I liked the one where Wanda Sykes was talking about how scary Dick Cheney is. She told her kids that if they saw two cars pull up, and a stranger is in one car and Dick Cheney is in the other, "You get in that car with the stranger!" Her delivery on it was perfect. I've been laughing about that one for a couple days now (not continuously, but you know what I mean).
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Old 05-11-2009, 08:26 PM
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I especially liked wanda's joke about Limbaugh dying. A real knee slapper.
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