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  #1  
Old 05-12-2009, 06:05 AM
TheDon's Avatar
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Death to burger king!

Yes, Death To Burger King!


why?

I thought it would be grand to nourish my hungry body with a whopper and oh so delicious fries on the way home from my night photography class at 10:30pm last night. Yes, wonderful, BK.. I want food.

So I order my delectable whopper, no onions, tomato, or mayo. I also dispensed a nice small orange Fanta for my ride home.I do wish the SDL had cupholders but those Germans sure know their stuff.

Once home I feasted upon my delicious flame broiled meal and decided it was time to slumber.

At 2 am I woke up with a horrible pain, the pain that you just cannot shake off. It was like a car had ran into my stomach and continued to back up and ram back into it.

At this time, I decided to alert iwrock who just so happened to be on aim that my gas expulsion ability had been hindered which was causing a discomfort.

I returned to praise the porcelain throne and reverted back to my primal stages and curled into a fetal position on the floor next to the shrine.

This continued on for eons, in reality, 5 hours and still going.

surely I could have found some malox or something in my house but to the best of my knowledge we do not have any. Yet I did behest upon to my mother that we should have some, just in case anyone does run into such an issue.

So here I type to you, forum, stay away from burger king and their menu with a wide selection of stomach churning tidbits

Death To Burger King cried the crier for all to hear! Let it be known! He said....
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  #2  
Old 05-12-2009, 06:32 AM
LUVMBDiesels's Avatar
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Ouch... drink lots of water to stay hydrated. If this keeps up go to the doctor as it could be an Ecoli or salmonella infection. You had lettuce in the burger, right? Could have been that...
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  #3  
Old 05-12-2009, 07:03 AM
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yeah there was some of that green stuff... I've been drinking water like its going out of style.

I'm feeling somewhat better but the pain is somewhat there.. Nowhere near as intense. I'll monitor it and if it carries over I'll hit the doctor up. If I do have something I will want to be compensated severely, out of court.
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  #4  
Old 05-12-2009, 07:39 AM
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You didn't kick it up a notch with 2 day old Miracle Whip did you?
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  #5  
Old 05-12-2009, 08:28 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheDon View Post
At this time, I decided to alert iwrock who just so happened to be on aim that my gas expulsion ability had been hindered which was causing a discomfort.
Were you hoping he could come over, kiss the boo boo and make it better?

I ate at Noodles and Company with the wife. Both of us were getting rid of the meal in the wee hours of the morning FROM BOTH ENDS. We ate different meals. Maybe some stomach virus?
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  #6  
Old 05-12-2009, 08:33 AM
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lol.. no.. He was the only one on at 2 am(east coast/west coast time dif) and I was like.. "Dude.... the paaaaiinnnn"

I'm going to the store to get some gingerale and crackers.. that usually fixes me.. I'm drinking gatorade as well.
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  #7  
Old 05-12-2009, 09:03 AM
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The ex and I ate at a Subway many years back...the chick taking our order had just handled someone else's cash and started our order without washing her hands...this was about noontime...(and not realized until after the "festivities"...)

About 3AM that following morn...I abdicated the throne for the tub while the ex became the queen...garbage can between the knees...I turned on the shower and rinsed and rinsed and rinsed...

We called the ER and asked about getting checked for FPing...they said unless we've been COLLECTING THE STOOL, there's not a whole lot they can do...

WHO THE HECK COLLECTS STOOL WHEN IT'S SHOOTING OUT OF BOTH ENDS LIKE A FREAKING FIREHOSE?!?!?!?!

If there's anyone that resembles a Doctor out here, what's the best procedure to "collect samples" for a FP-case-pending?

I'm beginning to wonder if "brown-bagging" from home is the ONLY WAY to go! (Pun Definately Intended!!!!)
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  #8  
Old 05-12-2009, 10:13 AM
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I went to Lake Tahoe last year with a bunch of friends.
They had a really awesome Mongolian Buffet there.
So, I decided that I really liked the roasted garlic. It tasted so good I put it in everything.
later that evening I had stomach pains so horrible. I was in so much pain it hurt like hell. And the gas was unbelievable. All my friends were laughing at me. That is until we got back to the house.

They weren't laughing so much after that!

Danny
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  #9  
Old 05-12-2009, 10:21 AM
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To TheDon I present:
Screaming Jay Hawkins and Serge Gainsbourg - Constipation blues
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZvNO0BfBecc
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  #10  
Old 05-12-2009, 10:35 AM
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When ever I get constipated I go to Burger King and eat a whopper and wait one hour, it works every time.
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  #11  
Old 05-12-2009, 10:39 AM
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When my wife suggests BK, I know its for medicinal purposes ( at least for her). Works like a charm.
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  #12  
Old 05-12-2009, 10:42 AM
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So thats death to the homeowners association and now burger king...


Your on a roll, any others you want to add to the list
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  #13  
Old 05-12-2009, 10:51 AM
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lol... there are many more
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  #14  
Old 05-12-2009, 01:01 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Clk Man View Post
When ever I get constipated I go to Burger King and eat a whopper and wait one hour, it works every time.
White Castle,{or,as the Culturally Deprived Underachievers call it,White Hassle}is far quicker.3 greasy sliders will have you spewing out your innards at better than 60psi.
One cop I know told me about a burglar who robbed a jewelry store display case and swallowed the rings.
They all stopped very leisurely at W.C. on the way to the precinct and got the poor hoople some food.

Well, 20 minutes later the rings came out,caught by the drain screen used in all their water closets.

If a diamond can cut glass what can it do to one's rectum?
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  #15  
Old 05-12-2009, 01:16 PM
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Haven't been there in years - their food tastes like crap.
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