Another episode of "Engineers have sick minds". This one on a Buick!

[TimFreeh]

I feel your pain, everytime I have to work on a GM car I take a couple of Rolaids a half hour before the session begins.

Its pretty obvious that nobody at GM gives ANY thought to how things will come apart when a mechanic works on the car.

[Cap'n Carageous]

Why does this always happen to me? I notice a drop of transmission fluid on the floor of the garage under the wife's Regal GSE. Only has 40,000 miles. The top cooling line has a corroded spot next to the positive battery terminal. One of those confonded side terminal batteries. The battery has been leaking around the terminal and corroded the steel line. Ok. Simply remove and replace battery, repair the line and we're good to go. Fifteen minute job, right? Wrong. To remove the battery requires removal of a long fender to radiator support bracket. Then removal of the fuse box ! You wiggle the battery towards the engine and stand the battery on it's end in the tray. Then you wiggle it and pull straight up to remove!! Installation is reverse except you're having to hold a heavy battery and wiggle down! Well, it ended up being an hour job. I miss the old cars that were actually fun to work on!!

[G-Benz]

Years ago, I had a Cavalier Z-24 with the transverse-mounted engine. Could change the plugs on the bank closest to the front, but the opposite bank was right up against the firewall! What to do?

The mechanic showed me their secret...he went under the car and loosened two motor mounts...then PRESTO! The engine "tilted" forward, allowing access to everything else normally obscured by the firewall! Neat!

Sometimes, GM doesn't share those secrets...

[BlueBabyBenz]

I'm here to offer at least some defence for the engineers.

Some years back I was a product engineer for a manufacturing company. It was my job to balance all of the parameters given to me by a) the purpose of the product, b) the available materials, c) the time allotted to do the job, d) the projected consumer cost of the project, e) assembly and repair of the product, f) desired lifespan as decided by management, g) use of stock parts. etc, etc, etc.

Product design is almost always a compromise, and usually the engineer knows better than anyone how much he or she has had to compromise. A major part of that is support and philosophy of management of the company.

I guarantee the engineers aren't sitting there with malicious glee picturing struggling mechanics or owners. If you know how much pride you can put into your job, imagine an engineer not wanting to feel the same pride.

Oh, and engineers have good days and bad days too. Companies that care, hire the engineers that have proven they have very few bad days.

That said, I admit there have been days when I scratched my head over a design, too.

Ok, back to the stories...

[Cap'n Carageous]

I have often felt sorry for the plight of poor engineers. Even as my fingers were cramping and my knuckles bloody from the results of some of their "bad days"! Yeah, right.

I bought an 86 Ford Aerostar van. Full dresser with everything available. I loved it until at 100,000 the transmission front pump seal blew out. I took it to a friends shop because I didn't have a lift and trans jack. He fixed it but he told me that the engine would have to come out soon because the rear main was starting to leak. I bought a repair manual to "brush up" on the procedure. Under "Engine Removal" this is what it said. " Lift vehicle. Remove front suspension, left and right. Remove chassis crossmember and drop engine from bottom of vehicle". I traded two weeks later.

[Diesel-Lover]

Must say we have 180 degree needs from them blokes.

We want them fast, sleek and quiet cars but then we want every thing to be easily reachable like it was in the 20s 30s 40s ...

Had a 67 mustang GT convertable, great design, shape quite reliable given the abuse it took easy enough to work on but drank gas. Was a popular car at the local SCCA events, almost flipped it a few times racing a Triumph GT+6 and finally during one race the triumph flipped. Shortly thereafter was autocrossing and a rim broke off around all the bolts! car came crashing down, lucky for me there were disk brakes and the rotor carried the day. Got an offer I could not refuse and therefore sold it. Wish I had it now RED convert with black top, the looks are sooo agressive and the handling so good as was the power etc. Loved to drive it well into winter with the top down and the heat blasting, dove it in the dead of winter with the top up but the back window down for the convert feeling!!

Had a 67cuda drove and drove till the torsion bar rusted off. It loved to be driven fast, the engine feedback (throaty rumble) was way cool as was the vac gauge showing how much gas is being wasted!!. Shoulda fixed it but it found a garage owner and cuda lover. Yeller fish the truckers used to call it as it sped byeee.

Though the easiest car for me to work on was a circa early 80s camry straight four leaning back to let you fondle the spark plugs all you want the oil filter right there, as was the alternator, waterpump etc etc. but it was still boxy the popular color was gray on gray it ran and ran flawlessly till it was donated to a grad student who had a good sized fender bender, pulled out the fender the AC was shot but it was used for another 25K miles and is still puttering around out there in LA I believe. Aft the warranty period It got mob 1 and plattys. Tuneup every 40K. Yes it felt light, was a little noisy but would cruise at 85 to 95 for hours with four adults! and all at 22 to 25 mpg.

It was a mid west car but with minimal rust great design on layout, mechanicals and even creature comforts. 3 mode tranny, 2 mode ac, etc. Kinda still wish I had it as a beatabout for winter. (last known to have 200K+ miles on it)

Then there was the CRX it ran and ran and ran till a it was traded for a slightly used laptop. That owner lost it to a pickup which bit it in the back within a week after he got it! Working on that was an exercise in cunning, yoga, and creative positions! But it gave any where from 40 to 55 mpg depending on use of AC and driving style. It used to fly through the underground in Chicago, beat some BMR drivers!! they were too chicken. I could make a Ueee on a pin with the correct use of the parking brakes! But power off the line NOT, use the AC and you need a push from the car in back, and the beauty of road noise. Went to car heaven at 187K miles.

I also recall my first VW micro bus, it was soooooooo cooooold, I had an ice scraper in one hand and drove with the other. Double thermal underwear, blanket on lap etc etc but it was reliable as all get out and did 22+ mpg again an early 70s unit. I sold it and went to a saab a nightmare from the getgo. Sold that realquick and found another microbus from a airforce officer. It was sweet, even had a good size tow hitch, used it to pull by sailboat short distances. Did very well but used to drown the engine regularly on steep ramps. Have even used the starter to pull it out of the water sans boat! Then got the bright idea of putting a ball on the front during a business trip. Volla problem solved, and made the boat super easy to handle in a crowded parking lot. Always attracted a crowd at the ramp when they saw this loon nosing a boat into water!!


Had to go away, left it in buffalo for 3 years, it stood through snow and rain, with the front windows open! Musta been in a rush or some kids! When I got to it the Bat was dead and leaking, the tires were flat and rims bent, asked the corner garage what to do. He said try this: a portable air tank/comp to fill the tires a loaner batt from his car and 10 gals of fresh gas with some additives in it. If it starts bring it in I will make sure she get you across the 5 states you need to go. WEeel added the air put the batt in sprayed the ehter cranked and sprayed and cranked for 10 mins, about to give up when I saw this big ole puff of smoke and the usual airy vaaaarrroooom of the engine sound came out and the whole van shook. Drove to the garage thump thump thumpty thump, he took the tires off one by one hammered the rims, did his best to balance, the tires still looked good he said pirells they were. And I drove off with a full load of my stored worldly belongings loaded a full tank of gas, fresh oil and batt, made it with no problems. She was a neat shade of orange colored van (mono colour (euro). Did well never any major issues last known to have 150K plus. By the way the dash and the seats still looked primo after some stp vinyl treatment.

Many of them engineeeeers are way coooool know a bunch, some are a pain like in all species! but most are solidly wedded to their profession, methodical, take what ever they do seriously - went sky diving with a few: the questions were so many finally the instructor just said JUMP you will figure it all out by the time you get down!

So here's a cupa jo to ya engineers do miss seeing that pocket-liner though. And then way back there was the slide rule eh.

[Cap'n Carageous]

Let's see somebody top That!! :p Don't get me wrong about engineers. My oldest son is Manager of Egineering at an Electrolux factory that makes Craftsman lawn mowers. Some of my best friends are engineers. I love to pick on them. But that guy that invented the GM side terminal battery...I don't think he was sane!!

[G-Benz]

Forget the complexity of vehicle design & maintenance, who designs some of these knotty interstate systems?

Some overhead ramps in parts of DFW look like someone emptied several large cans of silly string, albeit with concrete and steel!!!