What motivates greed?

[link]

I'm dealing with a legal case that is due to the greed of one of my siblings. Without going into detail, one of my siblings has decided to not only betray her family in the name of stealing from our mom, but to tempt loss of job and possibly time in jail. I realize it is fairly common, but don’t understand how one can betray their own family and knowingly set themselves up to lose everything. It doesn’t even amount to that much money, maybe $60K. Can anyone provide insight as to what motivates this kind of thing?

[jlomon]

I'd guess that in her own world, with her own truth, she feels entitled to the money. If she is truly willing to risk her job and jail time, then she definitely feels entitled. If you can figure out where that sense of entitlement is rooted, then maybe you can solve the problem without going that far.

[link]

Entitlement is definitely part of it. But hers is a delusional take on that. I can’t find the path of logic that leads to her sense of entitlement

[diametricalbenz]

That is an interesting situation. Cost benefit analysis says they believe $60,000 is worth more than everything else they might have to lose...

I presume they don't need it in order for a life saving surgery or medical bills etc...

[link]

They have self-created needs, also driven by greed, but nothing life saving or life extending involved

[dannym]

I have found from my own experience that, mostly women, get crazy when there is family money or posessions "up for grab". Sorry, probably not the best term to use.
When an inheritance or other money or property is available due to death or failing health of a patriarch women always try to grab as much as they can. It's almost like they think it's first come first serve and they can just grab whatever they want without consequences. I don't know if it's a sense of entitlemant but it's always very ugly.

When my grandfather died my aunts and cousins were all trying to take his posessions. One of my cousins was giving all his tools to her fiance, without even asking my grandma if it was ok.

The look on my grandmothers face as all this was going on was just sad beyond explanation. I went and made everyone give it all back. When they all ran to my grandma to complain she told tham all to listen to me and return everything. I think she was waiting for someone to step up.
Needless to say the rest of the family hated me after that. I was only a teenager at the time. It was unbelievable to me how everyone was acting.

My grandmother gave me a bb gun. It was a nice daisy, old wood stock. I used to use it all the time and she knew I liked it. Nobody else ever even looked at it. I never asked for it, she justy gave it to me. My Aunt was trying to get it from me to the day she died. There was no way I was ever going to give it to her. In fact I still have it and still use it.
Then to top it off my cousin and her fiance broke up.

I'm sorry about your situation but someone needs to tell her she's acting like a spoiled brat.

Sory if I offended any women here. Like I said that's just my opinion.

Danny

[link]

Thanks for sharing. You made many points which are mirrored in my case. My atty is a friend of a high ranking state official and that person sent my sister a letter to “explain” their obligation.

Yet they still persist.

[Dee8go]

Good for you, Danny. Even though you were just a teenager, you exhibited more restraint, maturity, and class than your relatives did. It's disheartening to see families fall apart in these situations.

I would say that greed is the motivator or whatever actions follow. It stems from selfishness and that sense of entitlement someone mentioned. I am having to deal with that now in the wake of my mother's death and the settlement of her estate.

[link]

I'm sorry for your loss. Your situation is similar to mine. I agree that selfishness plays a role. I guess I don’t understand where the sense of entitlement originates. Our parents taught kindness and generosity.

Perhaps a more clear question might be to ask why the lust for money occludes any sense of reality? Both she and her husband work. They make an okay living. I’d guess about $130K or so annual income. They are both college educated.

[G-Benz]

I can only imagine that it happens to even the best of families regardless of income.

I can only hope that my brother and I don't mimic that behavior when our parents die someday. Fortunately, both of us do well enough that there isn't any real desire to "loot" the inheritance...in fact, other than my dad's 71 280SE, there really isn't any cherished possesion that I care to obtain...

[aklim]

Originally Posted by link

one of my siblings has decided to not only betray her family in the name of stealing from our mom, but to tempt loss of job and possibly time in jail.

I realize it is fairly common, but don’t understand how one can betray their own family and knowingly set themselves up to lose everything. It doesn’t even amount to that much money, maybe $60K. Can anyone provide insight as to what motivates this kind of thing?

I think she is hedging on the fact that she is family and few people would be like her and take family to court, get her tossed out of her job, etc, etc. Quite often, it works well too since Mom's usually are loathe to take the daughter to court and have her dragged thru the mud. As such, it isn't as big of a risk as you think. Yes, it does have the potential to get nasty but usually, people don't want to nail their own family. With that in mind, all that is left is the betrayal of family. Maybe YOU think it is a big deal but obviously, she doesn't. I don't have a good relationship with the brother. I'd gladly sell him up and/or down the river, into the rocks, etc, etc for very little. OTOH, with my wife, I keep it clean since I value our relationship.

What's not to understand? People have stolen and gotten themselves into trouble for less. I think what you don't see is how you can sell out your family for money. People have been doing it since who knows when.

[Dee8go]

When money is up for grabs, suddenly everybody shows their true colors.

[lutzTD]

I have seen this tear apart families. protect your mom, your sister has already shown she is not a good person. but keep in mind your mom loves your sister no matter what and anything that happens to your sister will be felt by your mom also. I have a brother who moved in after my dad died and started draining my moms savings. I put him in my rental and I take the hit for missed rent, but my mom is shed of him and still is not worried that he is on the street alone. as long as she is still with us, he will have a home, after that it will be on his own merit

[Fulcrum525]

As far as what motivates greed.... most of the examples i've seen have been cases of one-upmanship.

[aklim]

Originally Posted by Fulcrum525

As far as what motivates greed.... most of the examples i've seen have been cases of one-upmanship.

How about this. They are basically bad and they put up a good facade to make themselves more likable. When the right stimulus presents itself, the bad in them comes out.