Wife is trying to figure out why a couple living together for 9.5 years doesn't get married. They do have kids together so if they walked or divorced, what would the difference be?

OTOH, isn't there a tax benefit and less hassle legally for spouses as opposed to a "boyfriend-girlfriend" relationship? I know some companies offer benefits for "Domestic Partners" but that requires more hoops to jump thru.

Besides the whole "living in sin" crap, what real angles are there? The only thing I can think of is that if one party owes a bunch of debt and they don't want the other to be saddled with it should they die but even then it might be weak.

TIA

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That's probably one reason, another that I have seen is lack of one side to make a commitment. That is a very common arrangement here in MS - so common you want to ask new introductions if they are married.

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Ak- why did you get married? I know more couples who have lived together then gotten married only to get divorced. There were no children involved. Personally, I'm not much on paperwork.

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We didn't have a lopsided relationship where one side was wealthy and the other broke, we didn't have any debts that we didn't create together and our relationship was stable and there were tax benefits and legal benefits.

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If they split, theywould still have to settle custodial matters with the child/children and establish child support, dependency exemption, health insurance, life insurance, educational expenses ect.... Also, in many states there are homestead rights for boyfriend/girlfriend situations and of course, if they hold property as joint tenants, that is also an issue. The only extras in a divorce may be complications of alimony and division of personal property/assets that was jointly acquired. They would only have these issues to contend with if their accounts were held jointly.

What rights accrue with common law marriage, JD? Don't most states have some statute that says you're married in their eyes if you've lived together for a certain period of time?

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afaik, common law marriage went out some time ago with the last state being South Carolina.

Oh, I guess that's good to know. I had not heard that, but it makes sense.

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1998 Lincoln Continental - Sold
Max 1984 300TD 285,000 miles - Sold
The Dee8gonator 1987 560SEC 196,000 miles - Sold
Orgasmatron - 2006 CLS500 90,000 miles
2002 C320 Wagon 122,000 miles
2016 AMG GTS 12,000 miles

AK,

As far as child support, I doubt it would matter. State laws rule, so they might vary from state to state, but little between married and unmarried couples.

Divorce (aka equitable distribution rules) would again probably be similar in jointly owned property whether married or unmarried. Again, state law rules.
Staying single can help keep mine and your property separate, especially if we have a written agreement similar to a pre-nup in effect.

Common law marriages and community property state laws also may affect the decision. Living in a state that has neither, I don't know for sure.

Tax savings may dictate staying single if both spouses make good incomes. Remember, married taxpayers layer their incomes on top of each other. So if hubby doc is married to wifey lawyer. they lose out on the ability to double up on using the 10,15,25 and 28 bracket rates. Single, each of them can use those brackets to possibly reduce their overall tax burden. DEpends on the circumstances.

There may be other unseen reasons too. Maybe she's been previously married, collecting alimony, and would lose it if she remarried. I dated a gal a few times who was divorced from an orthopoedic surgeon, who told me on the first date she wasn't interested in remarrying.
'Course, neither was I. (kid issues)

btw, we talking sophisticated folks.. or redneck types here? Maybe he's wanted!

New Jersey does not recognize common law marriages. Period.

Ask Lee Marvin about the screwin he got from Michele Triolo (?) in his famous "palimony" battle years ago. (Ask him in the next life of course.)
Of course that was California, where all bad ideas originate.

Bernie Madoff was wanted.....

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"It's normal for these things to empty your wallet and break your heart in the process."
2012 SLK 350
1987 420 SEL

That might be a possibility as to why but they don't own that much other than the house they bought jointly and their cars.

I think they make about 100K - 120K combined.

She said that she was previously married but I am not sure if she was collecting alimony but she claimed she wasn't interested in getting remarried again.

Somewhere in between sophisticated and redneck. Or maybe they are brother and sister? Since the wife and I have the same last name, we kinda kid others about it sometimes.

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At that level of income, tax savings is probably not the motive.

Maybe it's losing alimony, or being cut out of a trust fund if she remarried, or maybe first hubby did a financial number on her and she ain't gonna let that happen again. I know a woman who once told me her ex-husband "hurt me bad" financially.

I hope for their sake they have wills to take address their circumstances as they wish. Intestacy laws can be ugly to the unsuspecting.

I know a lot of guys, especially in the military, who've been badly burned in a divorce and absolutely postively will not get married again.

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Funny....this was a topic at lunch today. The counselor said that common law marriages went out at least 20 years ago in Indiana.

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