I barely know the woman. If one of my buddies ask for a loan, I'd help out. I'd prefer a phone call rather than a letter that resembles some sort of phishing scam.

In my experience a stranger will pay you back before family and so called friends. :(

This thread is starting to make me........


Feel Like A Stranger (Grateful Dead)

Lyrics: John Barlow
Music: Bob Weir

Inside you're burning
I can see clear through
Your eyes tell more than you mean them to

Lit up and flashing
Like the reds and blues
Out there on the neon avenue

But I feel like a stranger
Feel like a stranger

Well the music's thundering
We're restless and hot
You keep firing glances across the room

And I can't stop wondering
Just what you got
Get the feeling I'm gonna find out real soon

Still I feel like a stranger
Feel like a stranger
Well you know it's gonna get stranger
So let's get on with the show

Yes and the wheel
Gets smoking round midnight
You shoot me a look that said let's go

Yes and it feels
Just like running a red light
There ain't no point in looking behind us, no

But I feel like a stranger
Feel like a stranger
You know it keeps getting stranger and stranger
If it's love then how would I know?

Yes and it's gonna get stranger
Some things you just know

If this were love then how would I know
(Feel like a stranger)
(Feel like a stranger)
Feel like a stranger
(Feel like a stranger)
It's gonna be a long hot crazy night
It's gonna be a long long crazy crazy night
Yeah crazy night
Silky silky, crazy crazy night

I have loaned money to friends and family and somehow they feel like I don't need the money and don't pay me back. As for strangers, several years ago a stranger walked into my shop and said that his car had a bad battery and could I loan him the money to get a new one. He was from out of town. I took a chance and loaned him the money for a battery. About a week later I got a check in the mail from him with a note that said thank you. BTW the check was for $20 more than I lent him. :D:D:D

You're a generous dude... are you compensating for the bad things you've done in your youth mayhap? :)

The way I've learned to make loans to relatives (Notice the fact that I "learned" :rolleyes:) is this way:

* - I make a "small loan" of somewhere between $20-$50...then I wait...no prompting, no reminders...I just wait for the loan to be repayed at some point...because...

* - If the loan is repaid, I have a "clean slate" w/the individual, and he/she qualifies for another such loan...maybe with a high value next time...then the same treatment...wait for repayment w/out the hassling...

* - Otherwise, if the loan is "still due" and the person comes back for another loan...I remind them that the other loan is out yet and they can't come back for more money 'til it's cleared...I put the "ball of responsibility" right back into their court...if they finish the deal, another can be made...but, if they "pooch" the first loan...they pretty much guaranteed themselves that the ol' Burg Money Tree has been uprooted and has died...and on the off-chance that they get their act together and decide to pay off the loan...then the clock starts ticking as to when I'll consider making another loan to same person...It could be 6, 12, 18, etc., etc., etc. months down the road...I don't tell them that this is happening to them...because, if they don't own up to their responsibilities, they can keep making things worse for themselves by blasting off their mouths, trash-talking relatives...the like...I'm not going to be responsible for them getting "enabled" over and over again...with me, it's once and done. Keep me happy and I'll enjoy the good and bad times together...

But, screw me once, shame on you...I don't like screwing when there's shame involved, so don't count on a second time happening too soon, either... :thumbup1:

Yeah Burg but relatives you're stuck with. Friends you can jettison.

True...but I treat the realatives the same way I'd treat the friends or acquaintances...keeps life (and accounting) simple.

Besides, when one or the other finds (or notices) that you are more "giving" to one over the other...that little "dynamic" can come into play in a wrong way REAL fast...I've seen it happen to many folks and even within my own family's structure. Treat EVERYONE the same and the "favoritism" angle can't be played on you...and, if they are (pardon the pun) "paying attention" - they'll know EXACTLY what's expected of them.

I think that simplifies things quite nicely... :thumbup1:

You are correct. How did you know? :D

What are the odds that she sent out dozens of those letters ("typed" -- sounds like it could easily have been a form letter) and sent them to anyone she thought might remotely consider giving her some cash? I can't imagine a simple $1200 stood between her and a house. I'll bet she is trying to raise $10K or so from several different folks with the same letter.

Never thought of that? Kinda like those letters you get asking to send a dollar to the five people on the list and then you put your name on the list and send it to a bunch of people hoping they will send you a dollar.

My thoughts exactly...

Kuan,

I'd like to buy a Chris Craft but need 20% down. Let's be friends.

Bingo !

That’s exactly how I work.
(John & Darby too, for that matter.)

Nobody can gripe at you when you tell them: “Well...Ya still haven’t paid me back the money you said you would back in...”

Putting the "ball of responsibility" right back into their court. I like that term.


Also – I’m thinking along the same lines as cscmc1 in post 56.
Odd she asked via a letter.
No chance in hell I’m lending to someone who doesn’t come sit down and talk things over regarding the loan in person. Maybe an old out of state friend or family member via the phone. But that’s it.

I’d be willing to bet there are more than one of these requests out there.
The Swede is not the only “Target”.

Beware, dude.

Cheers -
Shelby