Ex-Wife Rant... - PeachParts Mercedes-Benz Forum

Graplr · #1 09-18-2009, 12:47 PM

Sorry, but this has been building up.

First, according to our divorce decree she is supposed to pay a credit card that has my name on it. They haven't recieved a payment since June and I spent a half hour talking to the credit card company on Wednesday. I was in a bad place financially when we split due to terrible money decisions during our relationship but I've worked my tail off working 4 different jobs thoughout the year. In the next couple months I will have all the debt assigned to me via the decree paid off. She has accumulated more debt since we split 3 years ago. In fact she is moving in with her parents next month because she can't live off of her 50k salary.

(which is more than I make at my first job)

Next, I took our son (3.5) to a doctor's appointment to get some skin stuff removed this morning. She couldn't go because she would have freaked out. So I called her afterwards to tell her how it went. My son also has asthma and was has been coughing the last couple nights so I told her I gave him a cough suppressant that helped. She insisted that a cough suppressant won't help his cough since he has asthma and she KNOWS since SHE had asthma. My ex then says combatitively "I forget, you and (your wife) know everything." Unprovoked, she says this. I can't believe how immature this woman...or should I say child, as she has never grown up is. Not even on the phone with her for 3 minutes and she is trying to pick a fight. My current wife is a physician so I think she might have picked up a thing or two about drugs and medications in her 10 years of med school and training. My ex's jealousy of me being happy in my life was pretty apparent.

Her parents have given her everything her whole life. She has only driven new cars her whole life (starting when she was 16 when her dad gave her a car off the showroom floor). Her parents have felt the economy down turn and haven't been able to give her as much money, thus why she has fallen behind on the bills...according to her of course. She doesn't mention all the other stuff she spends money on or the fact that EVERY SINGLE time I get my son he has a new toy, purchased by her of course even though she can't afford her rent.

Here is my favorite part. A direct quote from an email she sent me-
My parents don’t have much money to help me out and haven’t for a while now so they really had no choice but to let us come there for a while.

Her life is miserable and she tries to bring everyone down to her level.

Like my father says..."It could be worse...you could still be married to her!"

Man I was young and naive when I married her.

Sorry about the rant. Thanks, I feel better.

aklim · #2 09-18-2009, 12:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Graplr

First, according to our divorce decree she is supposed to pay a credit card that has my name on it.

My ex then says combatitively "I forget, you and (your wife) know everything."

My parents don’t have much money to help me out and haven’t for a while now so they really had no choice but to let us come there for a while.

Only 1 question comes to mind. Will this affect your credit score and will there be collection efforts?

I'd have asked her what she bases her opinion on. Her great medical training that is non-existent? I have asthma myself and I am fairly certain that it will help if used properly. Of course if you dump gallons of codeine, it might not be good but if used enough so that the child can get some sleep without overdosing, it will help recovery. Somehow, I feel that staying up all night coughing cannot help recovery but like you, I am not a physician.

You could say that you are too busy spending your money to give a damn.

MTI · #3 09-18-2009, 01:09 PM

Yes, there is hardly anything worse than having an "ex" who is not happy. I often tell guys whose wives have "found someone that really understands" them to keep their fingers crossed and hope that the poor jerk of a new boyfriend doesn't find out what is about to latch onto him.

mgburg · #4 09-18-2009, 01:21 PM

The bad part in all of this...

Your little one...he's the real reason you need to stay civil in all of this.

Be the best example of how to be a man.

DOCUMENT EVERYTHING, no matter how trivial it may seem.

You send a b-card to your son...and you find out it never got to him?

NOW: "Your dad doesn't care about you! See? He forgot to send you a Birthday card!!!"

LATER: "Dad? Do you like me?"
YOU: "Of course I do! Why would you ask such a thing?"
SON: "You never sent me a card on my XXth birthday."
YOU: "Yes I did...your mother (You want to, but you don't call her "the b*tch.") signed for it when it was delivered. (You then whip out the USPS "Return Receipt Requested" card w/her signature on it.") Maybe she just "misplaced it" for you. Go ask her if she can find it...tell her I think I even had a check in there for her, too!"

Then, sit back and WAIT for THAT PHONE CALL!

Payback is a b*tch...just like the ol' lady was!

BTW, how many years, months, days, hours and minutes before your little one turns 18?
Or is it 21?

lorainfurniture · #5 09-18-2009, 01:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mgburg

The bad part in all of this...

Your little one...he's the real reason you need to stay civil in all of this.

Be the best example of how to be a man.

DOCUMENT EVERYTHING, no matter how trivial it may seem.

You send a b-card to your son...and you find out it never got to him?

NOW: "Your dad doesn't care about you! See? He forgot to send you a Birthday card!!!"

LATER: "Dad? Do you like me?"
YOU: "Of course I do! Why would you ask such a thing?"
SON: "You never sent me a card on my XXth birthday."
YOU: "Yes I did...your mother (You want to, but you don't call her "the b*tch.") signed for it when it was delivered. (You then whip out the USPS "Return Receipt Requested" card w/her signature on it.") Maybe she just "misplaced it" for you. Go ask her if she can find it...tell her I think I even had a check in there for her, too!"

Then, sit back and WAIT for THAT PHONE CALL!

Payback is a b*tch...just like the ol' lady was!

BTW, how many years, months, days, hours and minutes before your little one turns 18?
Or is it 21?

Brilliant!

Tough it out, all that good karma will (or already has) catch up with you..

Graplr · #6 09-18-2009, 01:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lorainfurniture

Brilliant!

Tough it out, all that good karma will (or already has) catch up with you..

The karma has already caught up. My wife is the greatest woman on the planet. We have never had one argument. We talk things over civilally when we disagree (which isn't much btw), like adults should. I make sure I let me wife know how lucky I am every single day!

Graplr · #7 09-18-2009, 01:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aklim

Only 1 question comes to mind. Will this affect your credit score and will there be collection efforts?

I'm past the point of caring about my credit score. She has already ruined it. I don't borrow money anyways and if we ever need to (house) my current wife has great credit.

I really need to talk to my ex about it this weekend. When she moves in with her parents she needs to get this bill caught up ASAP. I just dread having to talk with her because she is so immature and thinks she knows best.

Graplr · #8 09-18-2009, 01:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mgburg

The bad part in all of this...

Your little one...he's the real reason you need to stay civil in all of this.

Be the best example of how to be a man.

DOCUMENT EVERYTHING, no matter how trivial it may seem.

You send a b-card to your son...and you find out it never got to him?

NOW: "Your dad doesn't care about you! See? He forgot to send you a Birthday card!!!"

LATER: "Dad? Do you like me?"
YOU: "Of course I do! Why would you ask such a thing?"
SON: "You never sent me a card on my XXth birthday."
YOU: "Yes I did...your mother (You want to, but you don't call her "the b*tch.") signed for it when it was delivered. (You then whip out the USPS "Return Receipt Requested" card w/her signature on it.") Maybe she just "misplaced it" for you. Go ask her if she can find it...tell her I think I even had a check in there for her, too!"

Then, sit back and WAIT for THAT PHONE CALL!

Payback is a b*tch...just like the ol' lady was!

BTW, how many years, months, days, hours and minutes before your little one turns 18?
Or is it 21?

Well, fortunately I have him exactly half of the time so there is never a concern over if he gets anything.

And I was just thinking..."Only 14.5 more years until he turns 18! Then I don't ever have to deal with her again!"

strelnik · #9 09-18-2009, 01:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mgburg

The bad part in all of this...

Your little one...he's the real reason you need to stay civil in all of this.

Be the best example of how to be a man.

DOCUMENT EVERYTHING, no matter how trivial it may seem.

You send a b-card to your son...and you find out it never got to him?

NOW: "Your dad doesn't care about you! See? He forgot to send you a Birthday card!!!"

LATER: "Dad? Do you like me?"
YOU: "Of course I do! Why would you ask such a thing?"
SON: "You never sent me a card on my XXth birthday."
YOU: "Yes I did...your mother (You want to, but you don't call her "the b*tch.") signed for it when it was delivered. (You then whip out the USPS "Return Receipt Requested" card w/her signature on it.") Maybe she just "misplaced it" for you. Go ask her if she can find it...tell her I think I even had a check in there for her, too!"

Then, sit back and WAIT for THAT PHONE CALL!

Payback is a b*tch...just like the ol' lady was!

BTW, how many years, months, days, hours and minutes before your little one turns 18?
Or is it 21?

I went through this for 18 years, almost. It actually ends November 3 of this year.

On my son's graduation, after I did all kinds of stuff for years that no one thanked me for, on my son's HS graduation day, my ex-wife, after being surrounded by her controlling family for the last tw days, came p to me and said , " You were right."

I looked puzzled. "About what?"

She said, " About everything. My sisters, my family. everything."

I said nothing.

I am at the point where I don't care and now I don't have to waste my energy on being anything with them except civil. It's going to be up to my son to start making his own choices, I have stopped payoing for everything, he needs to develop some ambition and entrepreneurial spirit.

Mistress · #10 09-18-2009, 02:01 PM

She's a spoiled brat and her parents deserve her.....that's why she's your EX. Legally i don't know wha tyou have to do but i'd say pay off the card with your name on it and cancel it....

mgburg · #11 09-18-2009, 02:06 PM

The only advantage you have in being divorced is that you can be the parent you want to be...

You can be a caring, nurturing type...

You can be a "sitting around in your b-suit, butt-scratching, farting 'til the paint peels off the walls" type...

Or, you can be just what the kids need you to be...that solid rock they know that can come to when times are tough, but they understand that when they do, there are limits, rules and consequences for actions taken...all the time...not just when there are "brownie-points" to be won or lost.

THOSE will be the tough times...

Remember, all battles have winners and losers...some will be easier than others, most will be hard and some, you'll never know until later, what the outcome was, or if it's still in the fight-mode.

Regardless, the kids have to come first, the civility is a VERY close 2nd and you?

Well, until the kids are on their own and have reached that recognized "age of majority" - you bring up the rear...

After that...do what you want with the Benz...you're free.

And remember this 'til the day you die...the kids "never" leave home.

Graplr · #12 09-18-2009, 02:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mgburg

The only advantage you have in being divorced is that you can be the parent you want to be...

You can be a caring, nurturing type...

You can be a "sitting around in your b-suit, butt-scratching, farting 'til the paint peels off the walls" type...

Or, you can be just what the kids need you to be...that solid rock they know that can come to when times are tough, but they understand that when they do, there are limits, rules and consequences for actions taken...all the time...not just when there are "brownie-points" to be won or lost.

THOSE will be the tough times...

Remember, all battles have winners and losers...some will be easier than others, most will be hard and some, you'll never know until later, what the outcome was, or if it's still in the fight-mode.

Regardless, the kids have to come first, the civility is a VERY close 2nd and you?

Well, until the kids are on their own and have reached that recognized "age of majority" - you bring up the rear...

After that...do what you want with the Benz...you're free.

And remember this 'til the day you die...the kids "never" leave home.

Trust me, I know this.

One of the things that attracted my wife to me was how good of a father I am. She said she dated other people with kids but they always tried to hide or downplay the kids. Not me. I told her the first or second time we talked on the phone (before we even met in person) that I had a son.

amosfella · #13 09-18-2009, 05:34 PM

Can you get a copy of the divorce court judgment for her to pay that card?? Phone the credit card company, and tell them there is an order for her to pay it, as well as the credit bureaus, do the same thing... Offer to fax it too them, and even mail them a copy. You might have to speak to someone in middle to upper management... Be sure you know exactly who to send it to in the company... Don't pay it for her.... Make her pay for it...

JackG · #14 09-18-2009, 07:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Graplr

And I was just thinking..."Only 14.5 more years until he turns 18! Then I don't ever have to deal with her again!"

WRONG................

whether you like it or not, this woman will be in your life
until one of you die.
There will still be weddings, grandkids,etc,

sorry, but you are stuck

t walgamuth · #15 09-18-2009, 07:13 PM

It has been like heavan for me since my daugher turned 18. Minimal contact during her wedding and occasional contact at weddings and funerals and such.

To the OP, just hang in there and avoid conflict in front of your child. Don't allow her to bring you down to her level by reacting in kind.

The years will go by and before too long you will be more or less free of her.

It took fifteen years but my daughter finally figured out that her mom is a class A liar and I'm not so bad.

Hang in there and thank your stars you have found happiness in your presetn marriage.