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Old 01-18-2010, 01:56 PM
Phil's Avatar
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Location: Sonoma County, California
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Fun with chemistry

________________________________________
HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on a
Washington State University chemistry mid-term.

The answer by one student was so "profound" that the
professor shared it with colleagues, via the
Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the
pleasure of enjoying it as well :

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat)
or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs
using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and
heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is
changing in time. So we need to know the rate at
which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at
which they are leaving. I think that we can safely
assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not
leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how
many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the
different religions that exist in the world today.
Most of these religions state that if you are not a
member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since
there is more than one of these religions and since
people do not belong to more than one religion, we
can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth
and death rates as they are, we can expect the
number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in
Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for
the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the
same, the volume of Hell has to expand
proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the
rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature
and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell
breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the
increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and
pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa
during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day
in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into
account the fact that I slept with her last night,
then number two must be true, and thus I am sure
that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has
frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any
more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving
only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a
divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa
kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"
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Old 01-18-2010, 05:14 PM
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Location: Milford, CT
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Thats an old one, but classic!
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Old 01-18-2010, 05:24 PM
Phil's Avatar
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Sonoma County, California
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hatterasguy View Post
Thats an old one, but classic!
Yeah I've had it floating around for years now but I still like it.
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