who has more responsibility/influence on a rearing of a child? - Page 2 - PeachParts Mercedes-Benz Forum

aklim · #16 03-22-2010, 11:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tbomachines

I do agree 100% that the kid needs structure. Involving him in sports or some other organized structure will help immensely and might help his acting out.

Problem is 6 days of a week, he is with some undisciplined slob that gives him whatever he wants. How will you overcome that? Certainly not with a couple of hours of basketball play.

my83300cd · #17 03-22-2010, 05:57 PM

If the boy can get involved in school, after school programs and has enthusiasm from his father on the weekends he might come out ok. I'd say go for custody. If that cannot happen, how about increased visitation?

Try introducing him to hobbies that he can do during the week and share on the weekend? Making models, slot cars, trains.... the Dangerous Book for Boys has lots of fun things to do. That way he has a goal to meet, some structure and the knowledge that an adult is pulling for him.

fz500sel · #18 03-22-2010, 06:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aklim

Problem is 6 days of a week, he is with some undisciplined slob that gives him whatever he wants. How will you overcome that? Certainly not with a couple of hours of basketball play.

I agree. Like I told the father, until you get her to realize that she needs to put the kabosh on his acting up, he won't get straightened out. Doesnt matter how much he sees him, if the kid knows that once he's back with his mom he can have his way again.

t walgamuth · #19 03-22-2010, 08:09 PM

I disagree to some extent. When my daughter was little we had very different expectations behavior wise than her mom. She accepted our guidelines while at our house.

We even had a dresser with clothes for her to use while at our house. She had a set of osh kosh bgosh bib overalls that she loved at our house. Her mom would have thrown them away if we let her take them home. My mom made her a personalized quilt which she still uses. It used to be bright royal blue and now it is faded to light blue.

Kids are very resiliant. Different rules at different houses they can adjust to as long as you are consistant.

fz500sel · #20 03-22-2010, 10:16 PM

My wife (his grandmother) is old school and grew up in Germany. She thinks that his mother feels guilty that she is at work (or for whatever reason) and so tries to make up for it by letting him have whatever he wants, behaving however he wants, etc.

According to her, the last generation got spoiled because with the way the global economy has changed in the last 20 years, it takes 2 incomes to survive. Consequently, both parents are forced to work. With both of them working and not being able to spend as much quality time with their children, the parents feel guilty and to somehow make themselves feel better, give their childen whatever they want (video games, cell phones, laptop computers, etc.)

Her favorite saying is "the last 2 generations aren't worth a *****!"

t walgamuth · #21 03-23-2010, 06:53 AM

I agree to a large extent with the second paragraph.

As for the third, people have been saying that for thousands of years!

aklim · #22 03-23-2010, 11:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fz500sel

My wife (his grandmother) is old school and grew up in Germany. She thinks that his mother feels guilty that she is at work (or for whatever reason) and so tries to make up for it by letting him have whatever he wants, behaving however he wants, etc.

According to her, the last generation got spoiled because with the way the global economy has changed in the last 20 years, it takes 2 incomes to survive. Consequently, both parents are forced to work. With both of them working and not being able to spend as much quality time with their children, the parents feel guilty and to somehow make themselves feel better, give their childen whatever they want (video games, cell phones, laptop computers, etc.)

Her favorite saying is "the last 2 generations aren't worth a *****!"

There is also the thought of maybe she doesn't GAS. Either way, as the old slogan went, "Why ask why? Try Bud Dry". Not important either way, is it?

I still think it is laziness and they use that as an excuse but WGAS?

fz500sel · #23 03-23-2010, 03:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aklim

Problem is 6 days of a week, he is with some undisciplined slob that gives him whatever he wants. How will you overcome that? Certainly not with a couple of hours of basketball play.

undisciplined slob?! You know her pretty well, do you?

aklim · #24 03-23-2010, 03:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fz500sel

undisciplined slob?! You know her pretty well, do you?

Taking you at your word.