Many months back--perhaps going back to a year--I posted a thread about having a work crush on a superior. She's the department head and at one time was my temporary supervisor when mine retired. Anyway, I thought it was just a passing crush but I still have it! In fact, it doesn't seem to be waning but only getting more *ahem* bothersome. I know it's silly, juvenile, and oh so hopeless. Did I also mention that she's maybe 15 years older? I admit, I have a thing for older women, but I think this little crush has something more than that. I can't really pinpoint it and don't know how or when it came about.

Recently I sent her an e-mail asking about a book she had mentioned to me. That sort of re-opened another dialogue via e-mail. I don't know if I should have been surprised or not, but she replied back a few times in depth and not just with a quick response to my queries.

Sometimes I feel she senses that I may have a thing for her (and if so, probably finds it "cute"). I don't know. I've sometimes deluded myself with the idea that she may even like me and possibly feel the same way as I do, but because of her position can't really let her feelings known. Sometimes I just want to profess my love to her. I know, I'm being so pathetic and juvenile.

I used to be able to talk to her easily, but now I feel short of breath whenever I talk to her, so I sometimes will avoid her.

Well, to get to the point, I'm still madly in love with her even though I know it's hopeless (and perhaps wrong) for so many reasons. The other day I decided that I want to send her flowers. No, not roses, but something more casual, like a sunflower mix in a vase. I want to keep any signs of romance out and keep the message short. In some way, I sort of want to know if she can guess it came from me. (I know, I'm asking for it!)

So is this even a good idea? I already expect the work/pleasure lecture, so I hope to get some encouragement to do this What should I write on the card? What sort of flowers?

Btw, I have to get back to her on a recipe that she gave me.

I don't see the point of doing it anonymously. I'll skip the workplace romance lecture; either do something about it or drop it and move on. Life's too short...

Invite her to try the results of the recipe she gave you....

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On some nights I still believe that a car with the fuel gauge on empty can run about fifty more miles if you have the right music very loud on the radio. - HST

1983 300SD - 305000
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if shes 15yrs older then she knows exactly what youre doing. anonymous flowers will just tell her youre even younger.personally work romances, unless you are ready to move to another job, will make life very uncomfortable for both of you, not to mention just a hint of it and she will get fired to avoid even a chance of a sexual harassment suit, companyes are ultra sensitive to this and will fire her quickly. you can be sure she knows this as well.

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1982 300CD Turbo (Otis, "ups & downs") parts for sale
2003 TJ with Hemi (to go anywhere, quickly) sold
2001 Excursion Powerstroke (to go dependably)
1970 Mustang 428SCJ (to go fast)
1962 Corvette LS1 (to go in style)
2001 Schwinn Grape Krate 10spd (if all else fails)

I think the replies so far have knocked some sense into me and also the stars our of my eyes. Not what i wanted to hear but very sound opinions. Yeah, I guess the anonymous flowers soes seem a bit pointless and *sigh* pathetically juvenile. I guess in the back of my head I knew that but still wanted to hear some "go for it" comments.

You know, it never really occurred to me that she would get reprimanded if I was the one who initiated it. I wouldn't want anything to happen to her. Again, I guess this only reminds me how juvenile thus crush is.

I think I would keep it a secret if I we could go out together.

No chance of inviting her over, as my place isn't very presentable. But you were kidding, right, smbdiesel?

Guess I'll have to check off the flower thing....

I never understood this crush from afar crap people have. Usually if they finally do something about it, it comes off all creepy.

I imagine you two share some interests in common, or she has some you would like to try. Find some event related to it, and invite her along. "I got two tickets to such and such, and I know how much you've said you like such and such and would love it if you'd join me." If she says yes? Whoo-hoo. No? Move on.

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1985 500SL Euro w/ AMG bits 130k
1984 300SD Turbodiesel 192k
1980 240D Stick China 188k
2001 CLK55 AMG 101k
2007 S600 Biturbo 149k Overheated Project, IT'S ALIVE!!!

Not kidding... bring some in for her to try. You put time and effort into creating the recipe she gave you. Much more flattering than flowers.

Tylers advice seems right on.

__________________
On some nights I still believe that a car with the fuel gauge on empty can run about fifty more miles if you have the right music very loud on the radio. - HST

1983 300SD - 305000
1984 Toyota Landcruiser - 190000
1994 GMC Jimmy - 203000

https://media.giphy.com/media/X3nnss8PAj5aU/giphy.gif

Perfect.

__________________
1991 560 SEC AMG, 199k <---- 300 hp 10:1 ECE euro HV ...

1995 E 420, 170k "The Red Plum" (sold)

2015 BMW 535i xdrive awd Stage 1 DINAN, 6k, <----364 hp

1967 Mercury Cougar, 49k

2013 Jaguar XF, 20k <----340 hp Supercharged, All Wheel Drive (sold)

frosty,
Work place romances never end well. Go find yourself a girl a few years younger than yourself & #### yourself silly !!!!
This woman is nearly old enough to be your mother !!
The Golden rule for a happy work place is for it to be for work only.
A quick way to loose your job real quick is to have an affair with a manager & then have it end. You will be out the door real quick.
She is probably playing you to get some extra work out of you.
Has she had affairs with others in the work place?

__________________
Grumpy Old Diesel Owners Club group

I no longer question authority, I annoy authority. More effect, less effort....

1967 230-6 auto parts car. rust bucket.
1980 300D now parts car 800k miles
1984 300D 500k miles
1987 250td 160k miles English import
2001 jeep turbo diesel 130k miles
1998 jeep tdi ~ followed me home. Needs a turbo.
1968 Ford F750 truck. 6-354 diesel conversion.
Other toys ~J.D.,Cat & GM ~ mainly earth moving

I was never much on admiration from afar either.

I guess the question is if she is the one and it is for real is it worth getting another job?

If the answer is no then it is time to do what Layback says!

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[SIGPIC] Diesel loving autocrossing grandpa Architect. 08 Dodge 3/4 ton with Cummins & six speed; I have had about 35 benzes. I have a 39 Studebaker Coupe Express pickup in which I have had installed a 617 turbo and a five speed manual.[SIGPIC]

..I also have a 427 Cobra replica with an aluminum chassis.

Go for it Chicken *****.

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For the Saved, this world is the worst it will ever get.
For the unSaved, this world is the best it will ever get.

Clk's Ebay Stuff BUY SOMETHING NOW!!!

Forget the flowers. Just whip it out and see what happens.

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Ben
1987 190d 2.5Turbo

It depends if they work for the government or private industry.


It might work in government, that was my career and I watched a few workplace romances that worked - even a few, to marriage.


Private companies not so much, because you are terminable at will, and this could end badly for the subordinate employee if I it were me, I would not go there, because if you DID get fired, imagine explaining why at future job intervirews.


"Don't dip your pen in the company ink" is the eternal saying that comes to mind, and it's a slogan that has survived forever, and there is a reason why.

__________________
1991 560 SEC AMG, 199k <---- 300 hp 10:1 ECE euro HV ...

1995 E 420, 170k "The Red Plum" (sold)

2015 BMW 535i xdrive awd Stage 1 DINAN, 6k, <----364 hp

1967 Mercury Cougar, 49k

2013 Jaguar XF, 20k <----340 hp Supercharged, All Wheel Drive (sold)

HAW !!!!!

__________________
1991 560 SEC AMG, 199k <---- 300 hp 10:1 ECE euro HV ...

1995 E 420, 170k "The Red Plum" (sold)

2015 BMW 535i xdrive awd Stage 1 DINAN, 6k, <----364 hp

1967 Mercury Cougar, 49k

2013 Jaguar XF, 20k <----340 hp Supercharged, All Wheel Drive (sold)

This isn't a bad idea. Innocent and polite. But he's playing with dynamite.

Whatever frosty's feelings are, they almost certainly aren't love. True love, whatever that means, can't be a single sided emotion. IMO, love has to grow out of a personal relationship. You aren't there yet.

Been on the receiving end of that situation ...twice. Whatever they felt, it wasn't love. One statement of love and affection happened about a 30 year lapse in contact. Neither was in any way shape or form based anything other than wild imaginations or desires on their part.