Son #2 had two teeth extracted this morning. He was referred to this pediatric dentist by our regular dentist (who sees my other 3 kids -4,11 & 13- as well as my wife) because he had issues cooperating in the chair when he was younger due to some sensory issues and because he has some interesting tooth issues because of his Down syndrome. He's 8 now, so he's been going to this office for about 5 years now. They seem to have a good handle on his particular dental issues, although behavior and cooperation in the chair is no longer one. He'll sit and do whatever the dentist asks him to do.

This morning while paying the co-pay, the dentist and the receptionist kind of cornered my wife and started giving her grief about not bringing the rest of our kids there. The dentist was saying she was kind of hurt and offended that we didn't trust her with our other kids and just saw her because of a difficult case. My wife explained to her that the other dentist has been our family dentist for a long time, that we and the kids were very comfortable with them and that she would be very uncomfortable switching practices when there hasn't been any reason to. While our family practice doesn't specialize in pediatric dentistry, he is more than capable and has countless family patients as evidenced by the Christmas cards hanging all over the office.

Knowing my immediate reaction would not have necessarily been the best one, I took a breath and went to work rather than paying them a visit. It's a tough one. The pediatric one knows his history, has done us well so far and my son is comfortable with them. OTOH I don't appreciate the way they handled this and would love to just say f--- you, nevermind 3 more patients, how about one less and BTW fax our records over to our family practice.

Should we just go on like the conversation never took place? Tell them we didn't appreciate they way they did this and stick with them? Confront them about it and bring him over to the other practice?

__________________

1980 300TD-China Blue/Blue MBTex-2nd Owner, 107K (Alt Blau) OBK #15
'06 Chevy Tahoe Z71 (for the wife & 4 kids, current mule) '03 Honda Odyssey (son #1's ride, reluctantly) '99 GMC Suburban (255K+ miles, semi-retired mule) 21' SeaRay Seville (summer escape pod)

If your son was referred to this dentist by your family dentist because of the issues unique to your son: stay with her practice. Your family dentist would not have sent you there unless she knew her stuff.
Having said that: You owe this lady no explanation. Give her none. Take your little man in, let her do what she does and pay the bill. Ignore it. To confront this pettiness is to invite anger into your life. Do you really need any more aggravation?
I wonder what your family dentist would think, though, if he realized that his referral is trying to steal his business?

I think your wife explained it well. Your REGULAR dentist REFERRED you to this pediatric dentist. The pediatric dentist benefited from this referral. It sounds like the dentist ans his staff then tried soliciting for more business, which in itself is OK, but they may have crossed some professional ethics line.

If your wife mentions incident this to your regular dentist, it may be the last time the pediatric dentist gets a referral. Who knows, there may be other repercussions...

Yep - don't be bullied. Tell them you're happy with the way things are at the moment and if they're not happy having your custom then you'll ask your family dentist to make another referral. If you feel it necessary suggest that you hope the next specialist will behave in an ethically loyal manner towards your much respected family dentist (lay it on thick for the wankers).

__________________
1992 W201 190E 1.8 171,000 km - Daily driver
1981 W123 300D ~ 100,000 miles / 160,000 km - project car stripped to the bone
1965 Land Rover Series 2a Station Wagon CIS recovery therapy!
1961 Volvo PV544 Bare metal rat rod-ish thing

I'm here to chat about cars and to help others - I'm not here "to always be right" like an internet warrior



Don't leave that there - I'll take it to bits!

Don't begrudge them their advertising - albeit sort of in your face; hey dentists need new mercedes' too! But I would ignore it.

__________________
DS
2010 CL550 - Heaven help me but it's beautiful
87 300D a labor of love
11 GLK 350 So far, so good
08 E350 4matic, Love it.
99 E320 too rusted, sold
87 260E Donated to Newgate School
www.Newgateschool.org - check it out.
12 Ford Escape, sold, forgotten
87 300D, sold, what a mistake
06 Passat 2.0T, PITA, sold

Las Vegas NV

I agree. You owe them no further explanation. I suggest ignoring the comments and carrying on as before.

If this is not comfortable for you you can always ask your family dentist for another referral. (That seems like a lot of bother).

__________________
[SIGPIC] Diesel loving autocrossing grandpa Architect. 08 Dodge 3/4 ton with Cummins & six speed; I have had about 35 benzes. I have a 39 Studebaker Coupe Express pickup in which I have had installed a 617 turbo and a five speed manual.[SIGPIC]

..I also have a 427 Cobra replica with an aluminum chassis.

I know quite a few dentists, both general dentists and specialists, and have a decent grasp on how they conduct their practices. If indeed the regular dentist referred the patient to the pediatric dentist, and the pediatric dentist responded by trying to poach other patients from his referring party, all Hell would break loose, starting with one barnburner of a phone call between the dentists.

The pediatric dentist must either be financially sucking air and/or have had a falling out with the regular dentist and doesn't give a whiff if the poaching is discovered.

Seems like a smart thing for someone running a business to do, though I would have phrased it a little more diplomatically.

You never get mad at a customer unless you don't care whether you lose their business.

__________________
1985 500SL Euro w/ AMG bits 130k
1984 300SD Turbodiesel 192k
1980 240D Stick China 188k
2001 CLK55 AMG 101k
2007 S600 Biturbo 149k Overheated Project, IT'S ALIVE!!!

In a polite manner advise the referred Dentist to suck you left nut.

If all is going well with son #2 and this special pediatric dentist aside from this grasp at patients, I'd say keep on business as usual.
Forget it for now. Don't make any waves, pretend like nothing happened.
Your wife responded beautifully.

It's not easy to find a dentist one is comfortable with. Only now in my 40s, am I finally comfortable with one.
If the cornering and/or soliciting happen again at all, I'd take action.

__________________
85' 300D No inspection, No registration fees, Cheap insurance
"If my calculations are correct, when this baby hits 88 miles per hour, you're going to see some serious %$&^."

Not if your business is referral-based and you're attempting to grab a client/patient from your referring party. A significant portion of new patients seen by dental specialists are from referrals by general dentists. The average guy on the street hasn't the faintest clue as to what a periodontist or endodontist does, therefore walk-in patients are not a very large portion of their patient base.

You'all got yourselves into a tight situation there. No doubt about it.

Good point.

__________________
1985 500SL Euro w/ AMG bits 130k
1984 300SD Turbodiesel 192k
1980 240D Stick China 188k
2001 CLK55 AMG 101k
2007 S600 Biturbo 149k Overheated Project, IT'S ALIVE!!!

I have learned from a close friend who is a dentist that the practice of dentistry is very competitive to the point of being cut-throat. Advances in dental care have all but eliminated cavities. My wife, who has great teeth and really takes care of them, went to her dentist to get a check-up and a cleaning. When paying the bill she was presented with a list of suggested work that the dentist felt she needed to the tune of $3700!! Looking it over, I called my friend back in Maryland and he just laughed, calling it a marketing scam but saying a lot of dentists do it.

__________________
"Life is tough...it's even tougher if you're stupid." John Wayne


Dave
Pawleys Island, SC

'79 300CD

My wife said she never felt threatened, it was just very odd and uncomfortable. I think we'll sit down with the family DDS and have a trial run to see how it goes. Like I said, he's much better in the chair at 8 than he was 4-6. I don't think we'll say anything to the pediatric one, just in case.

It may be a moot point anyway since I'm not sure I'd get my little man through those doors ever again after being wrapped up and having those two teeth yanked.

__________________

1980 300TD-China Blue/Blue MBTex-2nd Owner, 107K (Alt Blau) OBK #15
'06 Chevy Tahoe Z71 (for the wife & 4 kids, current mule) '03 Honda Odyssey (son #1's ride, reluctantly) '99 GMC Suburban (255K+ miles, semi-retired mule) 21' SeaRay Seville (summer escape pod)