Post Rapture, Who's Taking Care of Buster?

May 20, 2011 | Subscribe Now By Eric Gilkey, PropertyCasualty360.com

For fundamentalist Christians anticipating a call to Heaven on Saturday for the widely publicized and controversial Rapture, there is peace of mind to be had for the pets they are leaving behind.


According to Harold Camping, a Christian radio broadcaster and president of Family Radio, 200 million believers will be raptured and taken to Heaven, leaving the “unsaved” population left behind until five months later, when it’s predicted that Earth and the universe will be destroyed.


For those believers who are concerned about their animals’ welfare during that period, atheist Bart Centre is offering a policy of sorts that provides Rapture believers reassurance—even if Camping’s particular prediction is incorrect.


“We started Eternal Earth-Bound Pets in June 2009, so it’s not related to Mr. Camping’s latest prophecy, although it’s been a boon to me,” says Centre. “I started in six states with a handful of friends and fellow atheists, and now we are in 26 states with 46 atheist pet rescuers. These folks are independent contractors who have committed to rescuing people’s pets in the absurdly remote chance that the Rapture happens on Saturday or over the next 10 years.”


According to the terms of the agreement, interested policyholders sign a contract at a cost of $135 that essentially guarantees that in the event of Rapture, the pets of those who depart for Heaven will be adopted by those left behind—all within 24 hours.


“The contract is good for any Rapture from now until the end of their contract term, which is 10 years,” says Centre. “That’s about $1 a month for 10 year coverage peace of mind.”


According to Centre, all animal caretakers go through a criminal background check, a credit check, and then must guarantee their presence on Earth post-Rapture by agreeing to commit a particular kind of sin.


“We ask that rescuers blaspheme in accordance with Mark 3:29, which states, ‘But whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit will never be forgiven; he is guilty of an eternal sin.’”


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1980 300TD-China Blue/Blue MBTex-2nd Owner, 107K (Alt Blau) OBK #15
'06 Chevy Tahoe Z71 (for the wife & 4 kids, current mule) '03 Honda Odyssey (son #1's ride, reluctantly) '99 GMC Suburban (255K+ miles, semi-retired mule) 21' SeaRay Seville (summer escape pod)

Where do I sign up?

And there will be people stupid enough to send their $135 to them!!
Still nothing happened here in Australia & its after 11pm on May 21 !!

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Grumpy Old Diesel Owners Club group

I no longer question authority, I annoy authority. More effect, less effort....

1967 230-6 auto parts car. rust bucket.
1980 300D now parts car 800k miles
1984 300D 500k miles
1987 250td 160k miles English import
2001 jeep turbo diesel 130k miles
1998 jeep tdi ~ followed me home. Needs a turbo.
1968 Ford F750 truck. 6-354 diesel conversion.
Other toys ~J.D.,Cat & GM ~ mainly earth moving

SHHHH! That's not going to help my marketing efforts!

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1980 300TD-China Blue/Blue MBTex-2nd Owner, 107K (Alt Blau) OBK #15
'06 Chevy Tahoe Z71 (for the wife & 4 kids, current mule) '03 Honda Odyssey (son #1's ride, reluctantly) '99 GMC Suburban (255K+ miles, semi-retired mule) 21' SeaRay Seville (summer escape pod)

I'm doing lawn care.

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You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows - Robert A. Zimmerman

Well, given how "gourmet pet food" and other such nonsense is a mult-billion dollar per year industry, doesn't really surprise me there are people gullible enough to go for this as well.

"Gourmet pet food" my a$$ - when that dog walks up and says in perfect English "Hey man, how about some KenLRation instead of this crap you've been giving me", THEN it'll get gourmet pet food - till then it's table scraps and whatever's on sale at the hardware store.

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Just say "NO" to Ethanol - Drive Diesel

Mitchell Oates
Mooresville, NC
'87 300D 212K miles
'87 300D 151K miles - R.I.P. 12/08
'05 Jeep Liberty CRD 67K miles
Grumpy Old Diesel Owners Club

Wow, I haven't heard the name Ken-L Ration in years, but there is a ton of old marketing stuff on line:

http://www.etsy.com/listing/67999353/ken-l-ration-dog-food-pamphlet-how-to

I totally agree !!
Having worked briefly for Mars back in the 1980's , I can remember having it explained to me that the most expensive input to a can of "gourmet" dog food was the can. The second most expensive, the label. The largest % component was water.
Dogs are not concerned with "meaty chunks" That dont contain any meat, they just woof it down as fast as they can!!!
Probably the dogs of the world were more intelligent that those who believed that the world was about to end !!

__________________
Grumpy Old Diesel Owners Club group

I no longer question authority, I annoy authority. More effect, less effort....

1967 230-6 auto parts car. rust bucket.
1980 300D now parts car 800k miles
1984 300D 500k miles
1987 250td 160k miles English import
2001 jeep turbo diesel 130k miles
1998 jeep tdi ~ followed me home. Needs a turbo.
1968 Ford F750 truck. 6-354 diesel conversion.
Other toys ~J.D.,Cat & GM ~ mainly earth moving

Damn! Another great business idea that I didn't think of. I haven't missed anyone around here. When is this supposed to take place?

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" We have nothing to fear but the main stream media itself . . . ."- Adapted from Franklin D Roosevelt for the 21st century

OBK #55

1998 Lincoln Continental - Sold
Max 1984 300TD 285,000 miles - Sold
The Dee8gonator 1987 560SEC 196,000 miles - Sold
Orgasmatron - 2006 CLS500 90,000 miles
2002 C320 Wagon 122,000 miles
2016 AMG GTS 12,000 miles

I wonder if maybe it did happen and we're the ones left?

__________________

1980 300TD-China Blue/Blue MBTex-2nd Owner, 107K (Alt Blau) OBK #15
'06 Chevy Tahoe Z71 (for the wife & 4 kids, current mule) '03 Honda Odyssey (son #1's ride, reluctantly) '99 GMC Suburban (255K+ miles, semi-retired mule) 21' SeaRay Seville (summer escape pod)