How *NOT* launch a boat

[Jim B.]

I got this in an email from a very wealthy Norwegian woman who used it to "LMFAO" at American men.

Though I thought it was a real Charlie Foxtrot and had to laugh.

Norwegians are VERY into boats and always have been.

Fun Day at the Boat Launch

[link]

I was talking about this very phenomena yesterday with a friend. She said she saw a boat launch where the launcher also launched the vehicle into the water once before. I’ve personally seen it 2x. I told her that both times I thought to offer assistance, but didn’t because I didn’t have the tools to do anything useful.

So, instead, both times I sat with a friend a short distance from the event and laughed.

Then we talked about how much boats really suck. Both me and my friend have stood by public launches many times, but not together, and we came to the conclusion that boating is often a trip to unhappiness. When people are launching, they’re all happy and eager. By the time they get back, much of the time they are so sun burnt that they glow, they often aren’t talking at all, or, better yet, they are yelling at each other.

And then there are the funny times when some dolt “drives the boat onto the trailer” and ends up ramming the post that holds the docking crank.

What fools these mortals be.

[Fulcrum525]

Watch and learn


Seenotrettungsübung Zingst 2010 & Unimog Offroad 4x4 - YouTube

[SwampYankee]

Originally Posted by Fulcrum525

Watch and learn


Seenotrettungsübung Zingst 2010 & Unimog Offroad 4x4 - YouTube

Dude got stuck in the dry sand. That's one cool setup, though!

This is how to launch a boat!

[ramonajim]

Originally Posted by SwampYankee

Dude got stuck in the dry sand. That's one cool setup, though!

This is how to launch a boat!

I can't even begin to imagine the amount of clenching going on each and every time one of those launches take place, waiting to see if it tips all the way over....

[SwampYankee]

Originally Posted by link

I was talking about this very phenomena yesterday with a friend. She said she saw a boat launch where the launcher also launched the vehicle into the water once before. I’ve personally seen it 2x. I told her that both times I thought to offer assistance, but didn’t because I didn’t have the tools to do anything useful.

So, instead, both times I sat with a friend a short distance from the event and laughed.

Then we talked about how much boats really suck. Both me and my friend have stood by public launches many times, but not together, and we came to the conclusion that boating is often a trip to unhappiness. When people are launching, they’re all happy and eager. By the time they get back, much of the time they are so sun burnt that they glow, they often aren’t talking at all, or, better yet, they are yelling at each other.

And then there are the funny times when some dolt “drives the boat onto the trailer” and ends up ramming the post that holds the docking crank.

What fools these mortals be.

Sadly, all too often, there is alcohol involved. Coming back from a trip is always bittersweet. But having to haul it out every time on a trailer just exacerbates it. I've hauled mine every time and I've kept mine in a slip.
At least with the slip it's just a matter of tying up, packing up, hosing it down and walking away.

We have spent a fair amount of time tied up to a mooring nearing the launching ramp, often at the end of a rough work day, partaking in the schadenfreude provided by the launching ramp follies. What can I say, I'm not completely a good person. Post-fireworks is especially exciting, although it's rather high-risk with all of the nuts trying to haul their boats all at the same time. Many after spending the day drinking.

[SwampYankee]

Originally Posted by ramonajim

I can't even begin to imagine the amount of clenching going on each and every time one of those launches take place, waiting to see if it tips all the way over....

I suppose the way to look at it is if it can't survive the launch, you sure don't want to be out to sea on it!

[R Leo]

Originally Posted by SwampYankee

We have spent a fair amount of time tied up to a mooring nearing the launching ramp, often at the end of a rough work day, partaking in the schadenfreude provided by the launching ramp follies.

Quite possibly the most entertainment value for the $$$ to be found, watching people back trailers to the water.

Long ago, in another life I was an inspector and boat test tech at R.R. Hammond & Associates...it was in the late '70s and we built a line of 17' & 19' high end powerboats.

We tested at a local, constant level lake. About every two years, they drained the lake in the winter to kill the hydrilla in the shallows. When the lake was going to be lowered, we'd take a case of beer and go out and sit by the ramps watching folks that NEVER pulled their boats attempting to do so.

Gawd what a scream!

[spdrun]

Why doesn't anyone make a large-tired neutrally buoyant trailer that can be controlled via a chain winch on the vehicle to launch, unclamped, then sunk via tire deflation to launch the boat? To retrieve, the trailer would be moved under the boat, clamped on, and winched out.

The whole idea of needing a Neanderthal SUV to launch a boat strikes me as silly.

[Brian Carlton]

Originally Posted by spdrun

Why doesn't anyone make a large-tired neutrally buoyant trailer that can be controlled via a chain winch on the vehicle to launch, unclamped, then sunk via tire deflation to launch the boat? To retrieve, the trailer would be moved under the boat, clamped on, and winched out.

The whole idea of needing a Neanderthal SUV to launch a boat strikes me as silly.

You don't need buoyancy on the trailer. If you winch it down the ramp and submerge it, the boat simply floats off the trailer.

To retrieve, the trailer is lowered down the ramp and submerged. The boat simply powers onto the trailer and is secured at the bow.

The entire problem with the $hitboxes is the need for a powerful 4WD $hitbox if the ramp is steep, or the need for a $hitbox with very high ground clearance if the ramp is quite shallow.

[spdrun]

What about using the vehicle as an "anchor" at top of the ramp with wheels chocked, and winching the whole apparatus up and down the ramp? i.e. why does the vehicle need to do anything except sit there and yank?

[SwampYankee]

Originally Posted by R Leo

Quite possibly the most entertainment value for the $$$ to be found, watching people back trailers to the water.

Long ago, in another life I was an inspector and boat test tech at R.R. Hammond & Associates...it was in the late '70s and we built a line of 17' & 19' high end powerboats.

We tested at a local, constant level lake. About every two years, they drained the lake in the winter to kill the hydrilla in the shallows. When the lake was going to be lowered, we'd take a case of beer and go out and sit by the ramps watching folks that NEVER pulled their boats attempting to do so.

Gawd what a scream!

Nice boats! I never knew they were started by the Glastron guy.

And I'm glad I'm not the only one!

[Brian Carlton]

Originally Posted by spdrun

What about using the vehicle as an "anchor" at top of the ramp with wheels chocked, and winching the whole apparatus up and down the ramp? i.e. why does the vehicle need to do anything except sit there and yank?

Agreed.

Winch the trailer up and down the ramp..........as far as necessary..........keep the vehicle stationary.

A large $hitbox wouldn't be required for smaller boats.

[Hatterasguy]

I used to love having lunch down the launch ramp and watching the idiots screw up. More than once I have seen a car dunked.

My personal favorite is the forgotten plug, with the wife/GF holding the line asking why the water is inside the boat!


OTOH I have been doing it my entire life so I do fear I bore the people watching.

[Hatterasguy]

Originally Posted by spdrun

What about using the vehicle as an "anchor" at top of the ramp with wheels chocked, and winching the whole apparatus up and down the ramp? i.e. why does the vehicle need to do anything except sit there and yank?

Way to complicated.