Divorce - sometimes you just don't see it coming - PeachParts Mercedes-Benz Forum

benhogan · #1 02-13-2012, 09:16 AM

My sister has been married for 18 years and might be headed down that path. They live in the same house but barely talk now. The best explanation (probably more a 'symptom') is they ran out of love or got tired of each other.

The sucky thing is that she put her life on hold while he built his carreer up. She basically raised the kids so he marketable skillset is pretty low.

Not much in terms of assets other than an almost paid for house.

This scenario is probably more common than I realize but it sure does not seem like it when it hits this close to home. I never thought this would happen.

MTUpower · #2 02-13-2012, 09:20 AM

I think it's like 50% fail, so there is always the chance your or your neighbors will fail. Women get nearly all the advantages in divorce court so there is less to worry about than you think is my view. Sorry for your sisters plight, and please be there when and how you can for her.

raymr · #3 02-13-2012, 09:29 AM

She: I gave you the best years of my life!
He: You mean that was it?

MS Fowler · #4 02-13-2012, 10:18 AM

A good friend of mine was recently divorced. He never saw it coming--working way too many hours ( legitimately), and volunteering too much time to organizations away from home.
He and his wife were working in the yard one fine day. He remarked that he thought it would be good to add a garden at a particular spot in their yard. She replied, " I want a divorce."

MTI · #5 02-13-2012, 10:28 AM

From this past Saturday's Weekend Edition

Things to Always Say to Your Loved One

You look great.
Can I help?
Let's eat out.
I'm sorry
I love you.

TwitchKitty · #6 02-13-2012, 10:53 AM

Everything people aspire to these days is so artificial. The institution of marriage is left over from when life was real. These days people are not equipped to deal with things when they get real.

A long hiking trip is a good acid test for a relationship. It also shows you personally what you have made of yourself. When you get deep enough into the wilderness to be several days away from a grocery store or a shower your priorities become more clear.

If she has not taken up any new hobbies like trying to drain every keg of beer in town or sleeping with the neighbors, she has my sympathies.

Air&Road · #7 02-13-2012, 11:02 AM

That's a sad situation.

I worked at a University for a few years back in the seventies. I saw several guys that were working on their PHD's that were married. Every one of them dumped their wives not long after they got their degree. I thought it was a pretty slimy thing to do.

I wish her the best.

Kuan · #8 02-13-2012, 12:29 PM

Friend of mine just got divorced. His wife was cheating on him with the minister of the largest methodist church in the city. Minnesota being a no fault divorce state everything was split down the middle. The lawyers basically left him with enough money for a couple months rent. Now they're taking him to court for $1,000.

raymr · #9 02-13-2012, 12:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TwitchKitty

Everything people aspire to these days is so artificial. The institution of marriage is left over from when life was real. These days people are not equipped to deal with things when they get real.

A long hiking trip is a good acid test for a relationship. It also shows you personally what you have made of yourself. When you get deep enough into the wilderness to be several days away from a grocery store or a shower your priorities become more clear.

If she has not taken up any new hobbies like trying to drain every keg of beer in town or sleeping with the neighbors, she has my sympathies.

That, or if it survives a wallpapering project, you're good to go!

cmbdiesel · #10 02-13-2012, 01:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by raymr

That, or if it survives a wallpapering project, you're good to go!

oh geez... truer words were never spoken...

Graplr · #11 02-13-2012, 02:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by benhogan

My sister has been married for 18 years and might be headed down that path. They live in the same house but barely talk now. The best explanation (probably more a 'symptom') is they ran out of love or got tired of each other.

The sucky thing is that she put her life on hold while he built his carreer up. She basically raised the kids so he marketable skillset is pretty low.

Not much in terms of assets other than an almost paid for house.

This scenario is probably more common than I realize but it sure does not seem like it when it hits this close to home. I never thought this would happen.

I know laws vary state-by-state but laws are created to protect the spouse that puts their "life on hold to raise the kids". There is not only child support but spousal support that will more than likely come out of his paycheck to be given to her.

It sucks. I went through it but I'm glad I did because I got married to young and for the wrong reasons to the wrong woman and now I have the best wife in the world.

MTI · #12 02-13-2012, 02:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Graplr

I know laws vary state-by-state but laws are created to protect the spouse that puts their "life on hold to raise the kids". There is not only child support but spousal support that will more than likely come out of his paycheck to be given to her.

Spousal support does vary, but typically it requires a showing that a spouse lacks sufficient skills to obtain employment in the workplace, but only is payable for the period necessary to obtain those skills, it's typically not a lifelong obligation.

barry123400 · #13 02-14-2012, 12:49 PM

I cannot quote on the fairness issue. Locally if the woman has no hope or potential of earning simular money to what the husband does.

The alimony persists until she remarries. Apeals by the male to courts usually bring greater levies. Obviously the courts do not want to see the apeals.

To have to support a woman say where there were no children involved and the relationship was of perhaps five years duration seems somehow wrong to me. The reverse of the situation is probably not claimed very often but does occur as well.

Different juristictions have different applications. For example if you have a business in newfoundland the wife is not allowed to profit from it if in fact you reside there. I know one local wealthy family that set up a business in newfounland to block major asset distribution on purpose some years ago. It was quite a shock to the wife when it all went down.

The guy pays shild support and alimony but the now ex wife was effectivly blocked from the buisiness asset area. .This is a strange law that is only in Newfoundland in Canada to the best of my knowledge.

panZZer · #14 02-14-2012, 05:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TwitchKitty

Everything people aspire to these days is so artificial. The institution of marriage is left over from when life was real. These days people are not equipped to deal with things when they get real.

A long hiking trip is a good acid test for a relationship. It also shows you personally what you have made of yourself. When you get deep enough into the wilderness to be several days away from a grocery store or a shower your priorities become more clear.

If she has not taken up any new hobbies like trying to drain every keg of beer in town or sleeping with the neighbors, she has my sympathies.

Yell this one is only 10 miles--but it can be VERY perilous if folks dont know what they are doing

Idyllwild travel guide - Wikitravel

Ya'll might remember this story on the wires from 7 yrs ago

D Magazine : Lost: How a dead man saved two Dallas hikers

layback40 · #15 02-14-2012, 06:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TwitchKitty

Everything people aspire to these days is so artificial. The institution of marriage is left over from when life was real. These days people are not equipped to deal with things when they get real.

A long hiking trip is a good acid test for a relationship. It also shows you personally what you have made of yourself. When you get deep enough into the wilderness to be several days away from a grocery store or a shower your priorities become more clear.

If she has not taken up any new hobbies like trying to drain every keg of beer in town or sleeping with the neighbors, she has my sympathies.

A couple paddling a 2 man canoe for the first time has the same effect.