How to Explain the Possession of Data You Are Not Supposed to Possess?
 

I have this friend.....

He surreptitiously acquired a log of his girlfriend's text messages, some of which are incriminating.

He is wondering how to confront her without specifically identifying how he acquired this information. Citing secrecy on the grounds of "National Security" will probably not fly.

What should I tell him?

Walk

That much is certain.

But as for reasons, and explanation of how he acquired the SMS log is necessary, without revealing exactly how. (She carelessly left it connected to his computer and iTunes backed it up. With his help.)

Walk. No explanation more than, "It's not working for us" is necessary. No explanation will help. It will only get him in trouble anyway. Just walk away.

As a general sort of rule, if you don't trust your mate enough to stay out of private stuff you shouldn't be there anyway.

Don't walk...Run to the doctor for an STD exam.

Agreed. My understanding is that previous transgressions were forgiven and he was in a "trust but verify" mindframe, which I agree is not where he should have been.

Luckily, its nothing as severe as that.

Tell him to hire a PI and build a fresh independent & legal case.
I was under the impression you were an attorney? I guess I'm mistaken?:confused:

if shes got incriminating texts, shes showing other signs of guilt for whatever it is between them that he will pick up on.

You shouldn't involve yourself, but if he absolutely requires evidence that he hasn't gotten shadily in the first place, then just tell him to watch for some other sign of guilt, but he should act now and get it over with, the hell with how he figured it out.

Nothing worse than screwing around in a relationship that you know you are ending anyway, which it sounds like this guy is doing, better to move on without all the nonsense.

Need more details - come on, spill the beans here.

Also, PICS of said woman?

What is the real question here? Are you writing a soap opera script?

Tell her ANYTHING to get one last BJ and send her home.

In my BIG oil days my area would sometimes come into possession of information that was either VERY sensitive or worth tons of money to the right people.

We just ignored it all. There was just as much chance we were being played as that the info was real.

If we suspected someone was not being honest with us we would be as nice as possible to them. They would figure something was up and bring it up to us. We would tell them our business situation had changed and they were no longer a part of it.

In a situation like this one must ask: What is to be gained by a course of action? If the answer is revenge then the best solution is to forget them and go on to better things. The best revenge is living well.

And when we ignored info we considered it to fall under the area of 'Ethics'. If we were not supposed to know we didn't. What we saw there, and what we heard there, all stayed there.

And...... There is no glory in confronting someone and causing them grief when the situation is FUBAR anyway.

Run. End and run. Who cares about the "agreement".

For HIV it takes 3 Months for the Antibodies to show up in your Blood; that time has to pass before you can even be tested accurately; and if it is negative that tells you 3 Months ago you were not infected.

You sure do not fool around when you talk stds. There was a time when you had to sleep with real monkeys or guys to contract it. Long past now i suppose.

My wife told me many years ago that all stds where deadly in my case. Come home with one and she would kill me. Actually probably not but by the time she was finshed with me I would have wished she did.

Tell him he is lucky she is still his GF and not his wife, divorce is expensive. He should just walk, no need to get into details.

I am not, but when people guess my profession that is what comes up first.

Big Oil is obviously bigger in wisdom.

@JB3 -- agreed
@Skid Row Joe -- no pics (unfortunately). :-)
@TwitchKitty -- Ha!

http://media.monstersandcritics.com/...7906355085.jpg

Just be happy you're not the one with the information.

Tell your buddy to run all posible scenarios in his head.

Did she or didn't she?

Does it affect me or not?

If it does/doesn't, I'm I damaged?

You know, the gamut of guilt/revulsion/caring/not caring/the works... :rolleyes:

Then, when all is said and done, burn the evidence and don't go down that road again.

It seems your friend has some self-esteem issues.

Orrrrr.....he got caught with his willy in a wicket and is trying to cover the parts (or his a55) by making a case that she-did/he-did will balance everything out. Not too stable of a future relationship, is it?

Outside of that, get some popcorn and pull up a chair and catch an episode of "As The Clueless Burn."

Good luck! :thumbsup:

This is like the young boy going to the priest:

Boy: This isn't for me. It is about a friend........
Priest: Why don't you sit on my lap and hold this while we talk.......

Fortunately, internal computer records can prove that this was not hacked and if backed up automatically, no crime there, just a practice dangerous to security, which, in your case, is not illegal.

How you handle the personal stuff is up to you.
Good luck

This is just another episode of how the world churns. Tell your friend she cannot wear it out anyways.

As mentioned the high cost of leaving may not apply to this situation. I would actually stay right out of it. There is the old senario where the guy and woman where physically fighting on the street. A passerby tried to stop them. They both turned on him.

Some people exist in strange ways and seem to have the need to do so. They down deep seem to enjoy the chaos.

Might there be pictures of your example? (Not that I want to see them.........):D

Well, it turns out the issue is not as big as I was led to believe, and was something I personally would have ignored (relatively innocuous flirtation).

Some people's "rules" are stricter than others when it comes to that, I suppose. (I agree with the remark about esteem issues; this would not have perturbed anyone whose esteem was solidly intact.)