Phone addiction
 

Yesterday, after spending some hours working outside at the vineyard I'm associated with I went inside to see how things were going in the tasting room.

The main bar is a rectangular affair that will accommodate about 40 people on four sides. It was packed. I was chatting with a couple I know, both of whom had their phones out and they were scrolling or texting or doing something with them the whole time we talked. At one point I looked up at the bar and at first couldn't believe what I was seeing. At that precise moment EVERY PERSON at the bar had a phone in hand and was doing something with it, but NOBODY appeared to be actually making a phone call. It was almost surreal. In a group of several dozen people, all at least a bit relaxed from tasting wine, there was virtually no human to human interaction taking place.
If I'd had a phone, I'd have taken a picture of it.:rolleyes:

I wonder how many of these people would claim they think using a phone in social situations is rude?

I have been observing this phenomenon for years. I got my first car phone in about 1987 I think. I would rarely use it with a passenger in the car because I thought it was rude. My first handheld was one of the bricks a year or two later. I was embarrassed to be seen in public with the thing, much less use it in a public place. Not long after that point, after the handhelds got smaller and more widely seen, I started seeing people that seemed to go out of their way in a restaurant to annoy everyone with the thing.

As they became more widely used I got used to all these rude people in public, but refuse to use one or even answer a call unless it is something absolutely necessary and it doesn't rise to that level very often.

I read not long ago something that was written by someone who had recently been on a cruise with her spouse. She said that they befriended a young couple that were on their honeymoon. She wrote that the couple rarely even spoke with each other. All they did was sit and text, or whatever, on their phones. Hard to imagine much hope for that marriage.

I still call mine a car phone half the time. Right now I'm not sure where it is. I'd call it, but I'm pretty sure the battery's dead.
While I know I'm a luddite, I can't help but wonder about the psychological/emotional repercussions of NEVER being disconnected, NEVER living in the moment. Never focused solely on the people and place where you are.
My son spent several weeks last summer in the back country working on mapping a river guide for a stretch of the Salmon in Idaho. His phone didn't work. He said for the first 4 or 5 days he nearly went nuts trying to find a signal, then finally came to appreciate the disconnect.

In the hay day of my career I was on the phone, land and mobile seemingly constantly. As my industry sagged I moved away from the mobile phone except for occasional personal use and as far as the phone part goes, it is maybe ten minutes a week on the average.

My IPhone/IPad use OTOH is quite high due to the convenience of the IPad for doing what I am doing at this very moment. It, however, is mandatory for my flying. The information and constant calculation, GPS positioning and weather reporting available from this box is nothing short of indispensable. It is also nothing short of amazing. I use the same aviation app on both IPhone and IPad.

Amazes me at times. There's a small lake in Southern Az., Parker Canyon, ain't much good for fishing due to fluctuating water levels but it has the benefit of being remote and trolling motor only so it is QUIET, peaceful and sparsely populated during the week days. No 'lectricity, minimal public facilities so it was a great place to "disconnect". My buddy and I used to rent a boat from the, ahem, "marina", and spend a couple of days just lazing about on the lake. Only occasionally would we be troubled with actually having to remove a fish which had committed suicide on our hooks. It was heaven!

The last time we were there it seemed as though everyone else there was either; taking calls on their cell phones, text-ing or calling someone. WTH? It's a 45 minute drive to the nearest paved road. What could be so important which would require an immediate response? If it's THAT important then why are you out in the middle of nowhere trying to relax and get away from it?

I see the same thing at parades and other spectator events. Everybody has their stupid phone up in the air recording the scene, and pretty much blocking the view of anyone who is just there to watch. Half of those people probably won't even look at it again.

You should see 'em here in NYC. Every single woman (and many younger men) are walking and texting on the phone. Of course, this prevents them from observing and respecting the traffic signals. Many of 'em come close to death on a daily basis. None of the taxis are stopping for these morons.

Well let's give a big round of applause for the taxis!

On Dutch trains I quite often see a group of people who are presumably on a day out together - they all sit down and say perhaps a few words before they sign on to facebook to tell each other and perhaps others what they are doing...

...they don't seem to communicate with each other in the old fashioned way from that point on.

Has anyone estimated how much energy this type of self satisfied self possessed self loving costs per day?

Would the saving in fossil fuels used to keep this nonsense going be great if it was stopped?

Are NYC taxi drivers actually being green by killing off these tunnel visioned morons?

A friend who works at Purdue said one day he was sitting in his car in front of a building waiting for someone to come out and a young woman who was looking at her phone walked into the side of his car. She looked up and cursed him then walked on.

It takes all kinds!;)

ya know i too even to this day feel it is rude if say i'm talking to someone and my phone rings i will let it go to voicemail.and call back when i can.
and for this i got a buttchewin from my dispatcher about 2 weeks ago.i was in a business talking to the owner about an issue she was having when my dispatcher calls,so i let it go to voicemail and call him back about 5 minutes later.he rips me up one side and down the other for not answering his call.and i told him just what i was doing and that i felt it was rude to interupt our conversation.he still would have nothing of it.some people these days i just do not get.

My kids were bad about their phones, until I limited them to an hour a day to text. Now my son will call his girlfriend instead of texting, and my daughter refuses to answer a test from her boyfriend...to force him to call.

With the lack of personal communication skills between humans, my son started getting a bad stutter because he wasn't talking, he was texting. No more stuttering now, and he's learning how to verbally communicate properly.

If only their oldest sister would learn the same skills. She only communicates through text, and has no idea how to express emotions verbally.

Its annoying, but welcome to the phone generation not much you can do about it.

From the movies I see years ago in england, the parents all come down for dinner dressed. So, if those people saw us today dressed in whatever, wouldn't they shake their heads and say "These idiots are doomed."? Maybe this is a new paradigm that the newer folks are into and the dinosaurs are shaking their heads too. My dad probably did a lot of things that are going to be horrible if you ask his grandpa just like some of my things annoy my dad and probably will cause my grandpa to have a stroke. Maybe it is just a changing of the guard. The old generation isn't going to get along with the next one.

My Dad would tell me "In my day........" and if I had a kid, I'd be telling him/her "In my day........" and the cycle continues. This is a new paradigm and maybe the old duffers need to realize how they were when they had new trends as kids that annoyed their parents. My adopted parents are still stuck in the movies that they used to watch when they were kids and can't understand what the movies and music today are about and complain there is nothing to watch. I was used to the MTV scene when it first came about. Today, it is different since it is switched to the younger generation. Things change. Unfortunately, people are living longer today which is why there is such a discrepancy.

When I get downtime I have to check in on things at work...basically on call all the time and check sales stats to makes sure all is well. I don't stare at my phone constantly or text all the time or anything though...especially at a vineyard unless I was there on business.

It isn't just kids who are addicted to their phones. I see about as many middle aged people incessantly sidetracked by them.
Maybe this is just a transitional phase, and the technology will become so transparent some day that it won't interfere with face to face communication.
While it may be the 'brave new world' and nothing you can do about it doesn't mean you have to sign on.
Maybe I just don't give a crap about enough people or enough people don't give a crap about me for it to be necessary to know what flavor PopTart they ate for breakfast or see the latest cute kitten video. I like that just fine.

I too see people of all ages with IPhone umbilical cords. When I am flying or preparing to fly, I am certainly in this category.

more like pacifiers

: laughing:

Yes, you are correct!

How about going back to the good old days where you had to go meet someone you wanted to do business with? A few decades ago, we didn't have to do it. We could make a phone call, send a telex, etc, etc. I'm sure some old geezer was grumbling about the losing of F2F and having something as impersonal as a phone call instead of a hand written letter or actually going to meet the person, shake his hand, give him a big sloppy kiss, etc, etc. I'll bet that at that time, someone was crying about losing the F2F communication, never dreaming what it could evolve to in this world today. Give it 3 or 4 more decades and the young ones today will be grumbling the same thing.

Doesn't mean you shouldn't either. Either way, the choice is yours to hang around with the dinosaurs whose number gets fewer and fewer or move along. Sure, you didn't have to sign on to buy a car either and could still use your horse and buggy but certain difficulties will emerge and if you are able and willing, I suppose you can make do. I mean, the horse and buggy was good enough for my great grand parents so why not me?

Just get yourself a mobile phone blocker. The texts wont send.
You end up with a 30' no signal zone around you.

And hope you don't get caught.
Jamming is illegal in this country.

It would raise some interesting questions of whether you advocate that for only cell phones or whether you advocate that for everything else, won't it? Would you support me blocking up the public sidewalk because I find kids irritating and don't want them on the sidewalk for instance?

:confused:

I don't see the harm others may be doing to anyone, by their use of communication devices anywhere - especially in public.

Call me skeptical, and not a criticism, but I'd be more concerned with the harm done to others in one's immediate family and hometime, (or in many cases business place) in one's spending untold hours daily, engrossed in online leisure communication, rather than spending that time with their loved ones. I would surmise there must be a lot of active estrangment going on with family, because some are tuned-in to their PCs/iPhones on the Internet, instead of interfacing with those in their family - in the same room.

In a public situation? I would have to wonder why it's any business of a total stranger's concern, in all frankness.....

Hold on, I need to post this......;) :D

Why? It's none of your business. Don't you have more pressing personal business? I know I do. Whether I value my family enough to spend more time with them or not isn't your affair. Besides, you can't shut down any and all distractions so that the only thing I have to spend time on is my wife and kids, etc, etc. That is going to have to be my personal choice. You cannot make it for me. As such, I wouldn't concern myself over that sort of thing. Maybe the distracting is making my kids screaming more bearable? Or for some, the porn is giving them something to get excited about since their wives don't excite them? Who cares either way.

Don't bother me honey/kids - I don't have time for you - I'm doing research right now on the Net........0_o

I recently googled the top ten addictions and electronic devices are high on the list.

Puts a new slant on driving and texting.

My job provides me with any cell phone I want. I'm now on a Droid Razr Maxx.
It really does everything, and I really like it a lot.
But, they know I do not take calls while I am driving and that I will only answer if it is an acceptable time to do so.
I'll happily pull over at the next opportunity to see who called and call them right back, when the car is not moving.
If I am with anyone socially, I will only look at the phone if there is need to look something up on the internet in relation to a conversation.
I check the phone in private, if I have the need.
It does come in really handy for checking email without having to be at a computer, like when I come down to the kitchen in the AM to make coffee, and it's right there charging. One finger touch per account and email is there.

When I am preparing to fly, there is NO cellphone. I am in the airport bar. The most important part of preparing to do what god never intended me to do.

I believe it's all stimuli or stimulation. Real life can be/become boring in any given situation, so the electronic device offers escapism. The person is basically elsewhere, other than actually 'present.' Whether this is good or bad is up to the individuals involved.


I have a good friend that has related to me that the only thing she remembers about her Father, is that he would park himself on the sofa after coming home from work, totally engrossed in the television, communicating with none of the family. This was in the late 1950s-1960s. That's a sick memory to have of your Parent, IMO. However, some may believe that being disconnected from the family or society is a good thing for the individual. YVMV.

I am guilty of using my phone a lot and I do realize that I could just a dumb phone and be ok,but I looked at some regular phones and they just suck. No way I could go back. Not when one device can replace so many. Also, I have not gotten estranged from my family. I see my family every week with the exception of my older sister as she moved to NYC.

THS IS NT AOL INSTNT MSSNGR. PLS FKN CALL IF U WNT 2 FKN TLK, ASSHT. KTHX.

I hate texts like that. I have a full keyboard on my phone and I dont text like that.

I basically don't text. I email or call, unless the purpose is simply to exchange contact info.

Point being, texting back and forth gets tedious really quickly, and I find that in most instances whatever is the issue can be better settled in a 30 sec phone call. Thus the stock response above -- and no, I won't waste keystrokes on a texting mofo.

so whats the difference between a text and email? I use both for work. I usually talk to customers on the phone but after an order a lot of them will text me to add or make changes. I email to vendors and whatnot. A customer will call and give me a BOM to quote and tell me text him the price. It works well because now they have something that they can reference while theyre out in the field. Very useful actually just as an email, except theyre not as organizable as emails.

Not as organizable. Not easily visible on multiple devices. Annoying if over-used, since people tend to send short texts back and forth. List goes on.

Of course, my job is different from yours -- software specification and IT troubleshooting. Texting back and forth about a spec or a problem gets really annoying almost immediately.

As far as personal life, calling is much better unless the point is just to arrange for a location to meet in person.