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Old 03-09-2013, 06:30 AM
Jim B.'s Avatar
Who's flying this thing ?
Join Date: May 2006
Location: N. California./ N. Nevada
Posts: 3,611
Unhappy '80 450SL, --- an end without dignity.

comment by a ttac reader.

too good not to share:

Gary woke, and went through his morning ritual. He combed his silver mane, put on a fresh salmon Polo, and strolled to the mailbox with his coffee in hand. His knee was not in a good mood today. He exchanged waves to the neighbor. Bill, bill, junkmail, AARP, bill, letter from the community association…

Gary turned to look at his trusty R107, as if to catch some nosy busybody in the act of scribbling on a clipboard. Nobody was there. He became enraged. First, he stared at the “German Silver” tape he had applied a month prior, now fluttering in the wind. Then his eyes met the cause of his frustration. The Benz had built up a healthy layer of sludge on the tarmac. The coating was thick, and a fresh puddle of crude, both black and red, in the center shined in the morning sun. He opened the letter, already knowing what was within.
“It has come to our attention that your vehicle is in violation of the Aspenbreeze Townhome Regulations

Vehicles parked in the same location in the common areas for longer than 14 days are deemed to be “in storage”. This is not permissible. Additionally, the vehicle is leaking an excessive amount of fluids. Please do your part to help keep our common areas clean.”

Gary wadded the letter and pitched it at the Mercedes. “S.O.B’s!!!”
The neighbor stopped watering her plants and sheepishly went inside.

He went inside and retrieved the keys to the Benz as well as his prescription. The seat let out a squeak as he carefully ducked inside. The door, also let out a groaaaan as it was tugged closed. With a twist of the key, the V8 unleashed the sound of a 1000 wartime ball-bearing factories through it’s rusted out exhaust. Gary gripped the wheel tightly as he sped into town. Squeezing the wheel primarily, out of rage, but also to battle the shaking from the not-quite-round tires. He cussed and damned the whole way. “Nobody has anything better to do but stick their nose in my business!!!” “If only they paid this much attention to my….!” The coupe answered in kind with various squeaks and bangs from a bushing-less shock absorber. As if it was saying “Yeah!”, “You tell ‘em Gary!”

“What do they expect me to do? Just run out and buy a new car like all these other pinkos on everyone else’s DIME!!?” Gary stared at the busted interior of what was once a very nice car. A broken car for a broken man. It was the only thing left to him in the divorce. None of the memories associated with it were fond. He all-of-a-sudden started entertaining the idea of getting rid of it. He pulled into a KIA dealer and a buzzard approached, as if seeing…no…SMELLING the rotten corpse in the middle of some desert.

“What’s the cheapest damn car on the lot?”


Junkyard Find: 1980 Mercedes-Benz 450SL | The Truth About Cars

1991 560 SEC AMG, 199k <---- 300 hp 10:1 ECE euro HV ...

1995 E 420, 170k "The Red Plum" (sold)

2015 BMW 535i xdrive awd Stage 1 DINAN, 6k, <----364 hp

1967 Mercury Cougar, 49k

2013 Jaguar XF, 20k <----340 hp Supercharged, All Wheel Drive (sold)
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Old 03-09-2013, 01:40 PM
anghrist's Avatar
Registered User
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Lancaster, CA
Posts: 558
Originally Posted by Jim B. View Post
“What’s the cheapest damn car on the lot?”
I've felt that way before....

...then I decided to have that chip on my shoulder surgically removed and pay attention to how I treat my vehicles.

Oh, I did buy a new daily commuter to ensure stress reduction during regular automotive maintenance on the 'older' cars.

But, for that to happen to a perfectly good W107, tsk tsk. I know it wasn't the most powerful or efficient thing on the road, but those cars are definitely some of the most comfortable.
2013 Volkswagen Jetta Hybrid SEL Premium (Sparky)

It's a car not a science experiment! Open the throttle!
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Old 03-09-2013, 02:39 PM
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Join Date: May 2011
Location: NYC
Posts: 5,384
Every gallon of diesel I put into my W123 burns another house in Deeeee-TROIT to the ground, since it goes towards the non-production of one more US-made car (or US-sold Kimchee-burner). I can live with a noble goal of that type.

Take that, Hobama! (This being said, with all of 150 hp, that 450SL would be ripe for plopping a modern diesel in there!)
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Old 03-09-2013, 05:47 PM
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Carson City, NV
Posts: 3,788
I know what Gary's feeling. In the last few weeks my 300D has decided to start acting its age. My other car is a motorcycle, and the weather guessers keep predicting snow (that usually doesn't happen), so I've been limping it to work and sticking a drain pan underneath. Time to go work on it...
Whoever said there's nothing more expensive than a cheap Mercedes never had a cheap Jaguar.

83 300D Turbo with manual conversion, early W126 vented front rotors and H4 headlights 362,xxx miles
08 Triumph Street Triple 30,xxx miles, lowered 10mm in front, Pirelli Angel GT tires, EBC HH brake pads, otherwise stock.
88 Jaguar XJS V12 92,xxx miles. I should be in the garage now.
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Old 03-10-2013, 10:54 AM
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Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Alexandria, Virginia
Posts: 5,450
Awww. I was hoping for a more exiting finale - like a pedal-to-the-metal fiery crash through the front doors of the Aspenbreeze Townhome Community Center!

Happy Motoring, Mark

Last edited by Mark DiSilvestro; 03-10-2013 at 11:16 AM.
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Old 03-10-2013, 11:07 AM
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Join Date: May 2011
Location: NYC
Posts: 5,384

Colorado was the home of Marvin Heemeyer after all - it would have had to be turned into a homemade Panzer tank and used to raze the HOA clubhouse.

Marvin Heemeyer - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

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