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#1
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The Economy is So Bad (Humor)
The Economy is So Bad (Humor)
I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail. CEO's are now playing miniature golf. Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen. I saw a Mormon with only one wife. I bought a toaster oven and my free gift was a bank. Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America. Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore. A picture is now only worth 200 words. They renamed Wall Street " Wal-Mart Street." When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room. The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates. I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan , and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck... ! |
#2
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Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford batteries.
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#3
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I ordered a burger at McDonald's and the kid behind the counter asked,
"Can you afford fries with that?" If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you have to call them and ask if they mean you or them. Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.. McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer. Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names. A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico . Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting. The Mafia is laying off judges.
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On some nights I still believe that a car with the fuel gauge on empty can run about fifty more miles if you have the right music very loud on the radio. - HST 1983 300SD - 305000 1984 Toyota Landcruiser - 190000 1994 GMC Jimmy - 203000 https://media.giphy.com/media/X3nnss8PAj5aU/giphy.gif |
#4
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TEISB...
...that George Washington ($1), Thomas Jefferson ($2), Abraham Lincoln ($5), Alexander Hamilton ($10), Andrew Jackson ($20), Ulysses S. Grant ($50) & Benjamin Franklin ($100) are on the walls of the local Post Offices under the posting "HAVE YOU SEEN THIS PERSON?" . . .. . .. . .
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. . M. G. Burg'10 - Dakota SXT - Daily Ride / ≈ 172.5K .'76 - 450SLC - 107.024.12 / < .89.20 K ..'77 - 280E - 123.033.12 / > 128.20 K ...'67 - El Camino - 283ci / > 207.00 K ....'75 - Yamaha - 650XS / < 21.00 K .....'87 - G20 Sportvan / > 206.00 K ......'85 - 4WINNS 160 I.O. / 140hp .......'74 - Honda CT70 / Real 125 . “I didn’t really say everything I said.” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ~ Yogi Berra ~ |
#5
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It's so bad I hear some people are turning their odometers forward trying to prove to friends they can actually afford to drive.
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#6
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The economy is so bad
Santa left me an IOU for a bag of COAL...
LOL . |
#7
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I had to give myself a check for Christmas....and it bounced!
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[SIGPIC] Diesel loving autocrossing grandpa Architect. 08 Dodge 3/4 ton with Cummins & six speed; I have had about 35 benzes. I have a 39 Studebaker Coupe Express pickup in which I have had installed a 617 turbo and a five speed manual.[SIGPIC] ..I also have a 427 Cobra replica with an aluminum chassis. |
#8
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The economy is so poor the lawyers have their hands in their own pockets.
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#9
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...my 401K can't get above $4.01
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Current: 1985 300D aka Miss Margaret 1991 300SE aka Alarice 1995 SL320 aka Samantha 1997 K1500 Silverado Past: 1999 E300 ex-wife got it and let her son ruin it 1984 190 2.3 ex-wife got it and let her son destroy a great car 1985 300D (CA version) aka Maybelline lost to deer at high speed. 1981 300D aka Madeline (went to salvage at near 400k) rusty, yet best car I ever drove Wishlist: McFarlan TV6 (only a few privately owned) ReVere with Rochester engine 1917 Premier (only one left) |
#10
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WVO types can't do their thing anymore because no-one is buying fries.
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"Senior Luna, your sense of humor is still loco... but we love it, anyway." -rickymay ____ "Your sense of humor is still loco... " -MBeige ____ "Señor Luna, your sense of humor is quite järjetön" -Delibes 1982 300SD -- 211k, Texas car, tranny issues ____ 1979 240D 4-speed 234k -- turbo and tuned IP, third world taxi hot rod 2 Samuel 12:13: "David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the Lord.” And Nathan said to David, “The Lord also has put away your sin; you shall not die." |
#11
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The economy is so bad that hookers now charge for pecks.
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[GONE] - 1995 Mercedes E300 Diesel - 130k miles - Smoke Silver (702) over Mushroom leather (265) - Bladder blasting, coast-to-coast work machine. |
#12
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Oh my goodness
The economy is so bad that cats are being considered as the other white meat.
The economy is so bad that job security is a gun and a ski mask. The economy is so bad that you have a family conference before you splurge on at tank of gas. . |
#13
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The economy is so bad, people can only afford to marry via Facebook.
.. The economy is so bad, orchestras have all switched to whistling. .. The economy is so bad, people are turning their underwear inside out for a second use. .. The economy is so bad, all security options are dealt by stock brokes. .. The economy is so bad, the Mercedes star is only manufactured with two arms. .. The economy is so bad, my laptop's logo is an apple core. .. The economy is so bad, you mama ain't so fat no more. .. The economy is so bad, Wall Street yuppies have resorted to snorting flour. .. The economy is so bad, The Matrix now runs on Windows XP.
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[GONE] - 1995 Mercedes E300 Diesel - 130k miles - Smoke Silver (702) over Mushroom leather (265) - Bladder blasting, coast-to-coast work machine. Last edited by Delibes; 12-27-2013 at 02:37 PM. |
#14
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Ain't bad no mo' !
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'07 Yukon 2500 '13 Subaru Outback 3.6R '13 Orbea Carpe 9-speed Currently Benzless Formerly: 300TD, S600, E55, 560SEL ---= The forest breathes, listen. -Native American elder |
#15
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Quote:
You can turn the underwear around, flip it around and turn that side around once more to make 4 uses. If your situation were getting better, you use it twice so I am confused how the joke works in this thread.
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01 Ford Excursion Powerstroke 99 E300 Turbodiesel 91 Vette with 383 motor 05 Polaris Sportsman 800 EFI 06 Polaris Sportsman 500 EFI 03 SeaDoo GTX SC Red 03 SeaDoo GTX SC Yellow 04 Tailgator 21 ft Toy Hauler 11 Harley Davidson 883 SuperLow |
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