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  #1  
Old 03-12-2013, 04:17 PM
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The Economy is So Bad (Humor)

The Economy is So Bad (Humor)

I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

I saw a Mormon with only one wife.

I bought a toaster oven and my free gift was a bank.

Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.

Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.

A picture is now only worth 200 words.

They renamed Wall Street " Wal-Mart Street."

When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.

The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan , and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck...



!

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  #2  
Old 03-12-2013, 04:50 PM
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Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford batteries.
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  #3  
Old 03-12-2013, 05:21 PM
Inna-propriate-da-vida
 
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Posts: 1,895
I ordered a burger at McDonald's and the kid behind the counter asked,
"Can you afford fries with that?"

If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you have to call them
and ask if they mean you or them.

Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM..

McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico .

Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.

The Mafia is laying off judges.
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1983 300SD - 305000
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  #4  
Old 03-12-2013, 08:19 PM
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TEISB...

...that George Washington ($1), Thomas Jefferson ($2), Abraham Lincoln ($5), Alexander Hamilton ($10), Andrew Jackson ($20), Ulysses S. Grant ($50) & Benjamin Franklin ($100) are on the walls of the local Post Offices under the posting "HAVE YOU SEEN THIS PERSON?" . . .. . .. . .
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..'77 - 280E - 123.033.12 / > 128.20 K
...'67 - El Camino - 283ci / > 207.00 K
....'75 - Yamaha - 650XS / < 21.00 K
.....'87 - G20 Sportvan / > 206.00 K
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  #5  
Old 03-13-2013, 12:11 PM
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It's so bad I hear some people are turning their odometers forward trying to prove to friends they can actually afford to drive.
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  #6  
Old 12-25-2013, 05:19 PM
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The economy is so bad

Santa left me an IOU for a bag of COAL...

LOL

.
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  #7  
Old 12-25-2013, 05:56 PM
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I had to give myself a check for Christmas....and it bounced!
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..I also have a 427 Cobra replica with an aluminum chassis.
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  #8  
Old 12-25-2013, 06:18 PM
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The economy is so poor the lawyers have their hands in their own pockets.
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  #9  
Old 12-25-2013, 07:59 PM
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What did I just do?
 
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Location: Edgerton OH 43517
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...my 401K can't get above $4.01
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1997 K1500 Silverado
Past:
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1984 190 2.3 ex-wife got it and let her son destroy a great car
1985 300D (CA version) aka Maybelline lost to deer at high speed.
1981 300D aka Madeline (went to salvage at near 400k) rusty, yet best car I ever drove
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  #10  
Old 12-26-2013, 12:33 AM
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WVO types can't do their thing anymore because no-one is buying fries.
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1982 300SD -- 211k, Texas car, tranny issues ____ 1979 240D 4-speed 234k -- turbo and tuned IP, third world taxi hot rod

2 Samuel 12:13: "David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the Lord.” And Nathan said to David, “The Lord also has put away your sin; you shall not die."
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  #11  
Old 12-27-2013, 01:25 PM
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The economy is so bad that hookers now charge for pecks.
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[NO NAME YET] - 1995 Mercedes E300 Diesel - 130k miles - Smoke Silver (702) over Mushroom leather (265) - Bladder blasting, coast-to-coast work machine.
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  #12  
Old 12-27-2013, 01:53 PM
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Oh my goodness

The economy is so bad that cats are being considered as the other white meat.

The economy is so bad that job security is a gun and a ski mask.

The economy is so bad that you have a family conference before you splurge on at tank of gas.


.
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  #13  
Old 12-27-2013, 02:14 PM
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The economy is so bad, people can only afford to marry via Facebook.
..
The economy is so bad, orchestras have all switched to whistling.
..
The economy is so bad, people are turning their underwear inside out for a second use.
..
The economy is so bad, all security options are dealt by stock brokes.
..
The economy is so bad, the Mercedes star is only manufactured with two arms.
..
The economy is so bad, my laptop's logo is an apple core.
..
The economy is so bad, you mama ain't so fat no more.
..
The economy is so bad, Wall Street yuppies have resorted to snorting flour.
..
The economy is so bad, The Matrix now runs on Windows XP.
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[NO NAME YET] - 1995 Mercedes E300 Diesel - 130k miles - Smoke Silver (702) over Mushroom leather (265) - Bladder blasting, coast-to-coast work machine.

Last edited by Delibes; 12-27-2013 at 02:37 PM.
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  #14  
Old 12-27-2013, 03:08 PM
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Ain't bad no mo' !
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  #15  
Old 12-27-2013, 07:02 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Delibes View Post
The economy is so bad, people are turning their underwear inside out for a second use.
Can you explain this joke? I'm not sure I understand it. This is a thread about how bad the economy is not how much better it is getting.

You can turn the underwear around, flip it around and turn that side around once more to make 4 uses. If your situation were getting better, you use it twice so I am confused how the joke works in this thread.

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