Embarrassing your SPOUSE
 

When the wife and I go to the store, I like to go up to people and ask them if i can go home with them because my wife won't feed me. I also embarrass the wife at the check out. When the lady rings up the dog food, I tell her that we don't have a dog and that the wife makes me eat the dog food.

What do you guys/gals do to embarrass your spouse? :D:D:D:D:D

Just live.

So, just living embarrasses your wife? :eek::D

Since I have to use the electric cart, I like to find old people and ask them if they want to race.

A few weeks ago, I spotted a child in one of those grocery carts that looks like a race car. I pulled up next to the child, told him I was pulling him over for speeding, wrote a "ticket" in my memo book that I keep in my shirt pocket, and handed it to him, and drove off.

I used to like pushing the cart for my wife, finding an older couple midway through the aisle, wait for them to go around the corner, the yell out "Stop hitting me", then follow them to the next aisle.

That's the spirit jp. :D:D

I don't.

That's just not loving to your spouse.:mad:

Chill out, bub...some of us have spouses that have senses of humor.

I embarrass my wife by periodically deciding to cowboy up and accompany her to one of her endless artsy-fartsy dinner parties. I typically have a few whiskeys and goof on the other attendees.
A friend of hers scheduled a private party at the winery. We keep bird netting in big plastic bags at the end of each row of grapes. They stay there so that as soon as fruit set starts we can quickly pull them out and clip them over the vines before the Bird Information Network broadcasts the availability of free tasty grapes. People are always asking what's in the bags. One woman asked me and I said "those are badger traps". She said oh my goodness I didn't know there were badgers here. How do they work? I said "well, the badger is a curious beast, and sees the bag and figures there must be something worth hiding in there. He climbs up the support and gets into the bag. Once he's in there he can't figure out how to get out, not being all that smart. "Are there any in there NOW?" she asked.
Well ma'am I said, I haven't checked in about a week, want to go out with me and have a look see?

I have met jp's wife and she is very funny. She will have you laughing all day. :D

Most our wives are smart enough to let it pass when we do so by accident. My wife never embarasses me but my record is not quite as good.

Yeah, one look at me and most folks will turn to her with a "this is the best you could do??" look on their face. And she still puts up with me, amazing. There she is with her mega-education and credentials, and me with little to none of the above and my favorite tool is the lowly hammer. I just lucked out-and I ain't letting her go!

Jp wins the award for the funniest reply to this thread so far. I am going to start using the "Stop Hitting Me? part in the future. :D

Didn't even wait til we got married...

...many years ago, we walked into a music store at the mall called "Tape World" (yeah, THAT long ago), that sold albums, cassettes, and the newly-introduced CDs.

As we walked in, I immediately yelled in a loud voice "Hey...you guys carry 8-tracks"???

Wifey doesn't flinch much these days as she has had to endure 20+ years of my attempts at embarrasing her at every opportunity...:rolleyes:

My wife holds a black belt and taught karate for over 15 years. Plus she knows where the guns are and how to shoot. We won't even talk about her admiration for Lorena Bobbit. My existance as her husband is probably embarrassing enough (see above post). I try not to inflame the situation anymore than I do already. And I don't want to give her any excuse to dump me!

My wife never flinches...no matter how hard I try. She's known me all my life, and isn't fazed by much. She's commented to others that she'll pay them to take me with them.