Stop. Breathe. Walk away. Vent.
 

Vent, indeed.

Getting all sorts of passive aggresive b%#(@ed out by FIL type for trying to keep said FIL type alive - NOT on my playlist for tonight.

So, here I sit, pausing and breathing and trying to recompose.

Sigh.

Thanks for listening.

You are a blessed person for your efforts on his part. Too bad he cannot appreciate your efforts as they deserve to be appreciated. Come here and vent anytime.

Urg. Sorry.

@Husky: My impression is that his FIL is not looking to die but rather do way too much.

Excellent advise.

When someone decides that is where they want to be, my experience with those situations is that the end is near. Be it weeks or months ~ the end is certainly near.

Agreed. This sounds like my paternal grandfather, who went from more or less okay to dead in a relatively short period of time. There was never an autopsy, so his cause of death was never determined for sure. This happened when I was about three or four, so all I remember of it was that Pop moved in with us briefly and didn't look very steady. I remember him slowly eating a bowl of oatmeal with a look that I would now describe as not quite knowing what was going on and not being happy about it. Then no more Pop. From stories my mom told later, his mind had taken a sudden turn for the worse, and he did things much like Jim has told us about his FIL. Pop didn't seem to know that he wasn't right, and was trying to continue living as he had before. I believe what happened was a series of small strokes that culminated in his passing.

Sorry to hear about it Jim. :( Peace bro.

Caregivers need support, that's a fact.

Stop
Breathe
Walk away
Vent

That's good advice for any number of things.

I wish you the best, Jim. Hopefully you can recharge enough before the next go-round. ;)

Sheesh! Nothing to add other than the advice you already gave yourself, at least legally.

Vent away, my friend!

Jim, with everything I have seen you deal with over the past few years my friend, you are to be commended for your efforts and selfless acts of kindness.

Thanks to all for your advice - and a deeply humbled thank you for the kind words. Heaven knows I ain't no saint, and that I'm just making this up as I go. Having the steady hand of an amazing woman makes all the difference in the world.

Ed doesn't want to be done. He says it, now and again, when he is feeling neglected. He's been using the sentiment as a weapon for 5 years.

He gets mean, very rarely, when he is scared.

He gets scared, pretty often, because stuff doesn't work the way it used to.

He does REALLY F'N STUPID STUFF (like trying to burn the house down) because he simply isn't capable of doing better. There is no malice. There is no discontent. There is no anger. There is just - broken.

Every now and then I forget to give him each and every ounce of benefit of the doubt, and I need to step back and reset the baseline.

Y'all help with that. Having a place to scream into the void without worrying about the consequences is of great value to me.

So, Wayne et al. Please don't kill OD. It matters to me. It has kept me connected to this place, this community - at times when I needed something other than advice on how to keep the 3 old benzes in my driveway alive.

Because OD is here, I will ALWAYS look to Pelican first for parts.

Hang in there my friend, you are truly a remarkable sort. Wish more people displayed the kindness and selflessness you do. The world would be a far better place.