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  #31  
Old 11-23-2013, 02:47 PM
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Why is it so difficult to address someone the way they wish to be addressed, and refrain from addressing someone they way they do not wish to be addressed?

Nobody has to justify to you why they prefer something, it's just that they prefer it that way, and you should just respect it. Just run that conversation through your mind. Use any word.

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  #32  
Old 11-23-2013, 03:32 PM
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Originally Posted by Kuan View Post
Why is it so difficult to address someone the way they wish to be addressed, and refrain from addressing someone they way they do not wish to be addressed?
Because society is molded by the usage of a word. If one segment of society is permitted and encouraged to use the word and another segment of society is not permitted to use the word, the signals are totally confusing to all.

This is especially true if the society is segmented by race. Those that use the N word ought to have some intelligence to understand that the word is divisive and further promotes racism.

But, sadly, they don't.
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  #33  
Old 11-23-2013, 03:50 PM
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Originally Posted by Brian Carlton View Post
Because society is molded by the usage of a word. If one segment of society is permitted and encouraged to use the word and another segment of society is not permitted to use the word, the signals are totally confusing to all.

This is especially true if the society is segmented by race. Those that use the N word ought to have some intelligence to understand that the word is divisive and further promotes racism.

But, sadly, they don't.
Whether they know or not does not matter. Just stop if someone asks you to stop. The use of the word is a speech act. Just like a physical act it can effect change in the physical world. If someone asks you to stop poking them because you're bothering them then you stop. You don't ask why, you don't have to know, and you don't have to understand that poking may be divisive. It takes zero effort to not poke someone.
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  #34  
Old 11-23-2013, 04:35 PM
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Originally Posted by Kuan View Post
Whether they know or not does not matter. Just stop if someone asks you to stop. The use of the word is a speech act. Just like a physical act it can effect change in the physical world. If someone asks you to stop poking them because you're bothering them then you stop. You don't ask why, you don't have to know, and you don't have to understand that poking may be divisive. It takes zero effort to not poke someone.
Obviously.

However, if I say that you can poke me (because you are black) but that guy......over there.........cannot poke me (because he is white), what does that make me?

It makes me a RACIST...........pure and simple.
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  #35  
Old 11-23-2013, 04:47 PM
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Originally Posted by Brian Carlton View Post
Obviously.

However, if I say that you can poke me (because you are black) but that guy......over there.........cannot poke me (because he is white), what does that make me?

It makes me a RACIST...........pure and simple.
They have a relationship?
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  #36  
Old 11-23-2013, 05:35 PM
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They have a relationship?
Do they need one?

Take random people.............one is black............one is white. It's acceptable to use the phrase for the black individual but not acceptable to use the phrase for the white individual.

RACIST.
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  #37  
Old 11-23-2013, 06:02 PM
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Do they need one?

Take random people.............one is black............one is white. It's acceptable to use the phrase for the black individual but not acceptable to use the phrase for the white individual.

RACIST.
Yes. They have to have a relationship. A relationship that shares a certain set of experiences.

Words uttered by different people mean different things. Words uttered by members of a group with one shared experience do not mean the same as words uttered by a different group with a different set of shared experiences. Words do not have a one to one correspondence between languages. If I gave you an English-Swahili dictionary with the meaning of every single word translated native Swahili speakers would look at you funny if you interjected, maybe even feel a little offended.

It's the same in the workplace. You don't throw engineering terms at engineers if you're in marketing.
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  #38  
Old 11-23-2013, 06:20 PM
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Originally Posted by Kuan View Post
Yes. They have to have a relationship. A relationship that shares a certain set of experiences.

Words uttered by different people mean different things. Words uttered by members of a group with one shared experience do not mean the same as words uttered by a different group with a different set of shared experiences. Words do not have a one to one correspondence between languages. If I gave you an English-Swahili dictionary with the meaning of every single word translated native Swahili speakers would look at you funny if you interjected, maybe even feel a little offended.

It's the same in the workplace. You don't throw engineering terms at engineers if you're in marketing.
Is it your contention that all people who believe themselves to be black have a common life experience (that other races cannot replicate) which allows them to behave in a action which otherwise is held as reprehensible?

Understand that and then ask yourself if you want to continue to divide people into groups, and for how long.
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  #39  
Old 11-23-2013, 06:28 PM
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I simply avoid using word or phrases that might offend anybody. I don't care if it is "fair" or not.
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  #40  
Old 11-23-2013, 06:46 PM
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Originally Posted by t walgamuth View Post
I simply avoid using word or phrases that might offend anybody. I don't care if it is "fair" or not.
I am offended by the word. Many, many people are offended by the word. In a group you are not able to determine who would and who would not be offended. You certainly should not be looking at the group, judging them based on your version of color/race and dividing them into sub groups of blacks who can say then n word and non blacks who cannot.
That list is not the same as people who are offended by the n word- those offended are a larger group.
Using the n word is continuing to divide. I fail to understand and why intelligent people do not universally disapprove it's use knowing it causes division.
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  #41  
Old 11-23-2013, 06:55 PM
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Originally Posted by Kuan View Post
Why is it so difficult to address someone the way they wish to be addressed, and refrain from addressing someone they way they do not wish to be addressed?

Nobody has to justify to you why they prefer something, it's just that they prefer it that way, and you should just respect it. Just run that conversation through your mind. Use any word.
So if two or five adult males who appear to be of Chinese origin loudly call each other the n word, in public - as a friendly bonding term, that's fine with you? How about if the people were American Indian? Or white?
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  #42  
Old 11-23-2013, 07:09 PM
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Originally Posted by MTUpower View Post
Is it your contention that all people who believe themselves to be black have a common life experience (that other races cannot replicate) which allows them to behave in a action which otherwise is held as reprehensible?

Understand that and then ask yourself if you want to continue to divide people into groups, and for how long.
So let me understand this correctly. Your complaint is the racist label attached to non black people when they use the word. But you do not believe it so because black people seem to do fine using it and they do not get labeled a racist. I want to clarify here that I am not judging. I am not saying it is racist or not. It is not for me to say. I am saying it may fit in culturally in some circles and not in some, and it is definitely inappropriate when used out of context by an out of context person. You could speak it among friends who share the same experiences as you and it would totally go over fine within your circle of friends.

But yes. I want to divide people into groups, and not all division is bad. It also doesn't mean we cannot respect each other based on the social boundaries we set for others and ourselves. We are not the same and we have to recognize that. Treat others as they would like to be treated. I like coffee, you like tea, and if I know that in advance I'd buy some of the good stuff before you came over.
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  #43  
Old 11-23-2013, 07:09 PM
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Originally Posted by Kuan View Post
Why is it so difficult to address someone the way they wish to be addressed, and refrain from addressing someone they way they do not wish to be addressed?

Nobody has to justify to you why they prefer something, it's just that they prefer it that way, and you should just respect it. Just run that conversation through your mind. Use any word.
So if two or five adult males who appear to be of Chinese origin loudly call each other the n word, in public - as a friendly bonding term, that's fine with you? How about if the people were American Indian? Or white?
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  #44  
Old 11-23-2013, 07:11 PM
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Originally Posted by MTUpower View Post
So if two or five adult males who appear to be of Chinese origin loudly call each other the n word, in public - as a friendly bonding term, that's fine with you? How about if the people were American Indian? Or white?
I would wonder why, but if they had any emotional intelligence they'd wise up pretty quick.
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  #45  
Old 11-23-2013, 07:26 PM
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Originally Posted by Kuan View Post
I would wonder why, but if they had any emotional intelligence they'd wise up pretty quick.
But you have judged if they need to have "emotional intelligence" or not -solely based on the color of skin that you judge to be considered "black". Blacks don't need to be "emotionally intelligent" as well then?

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