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  #1  
Old 11-22-2013, 06:38 PM
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Dumb Blonde jokes (humor)

If you don't have a sense of humor, please exit stage left..

Please:
Not more than three jokes or links per post.

Blonds lose focus after two.


.

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  #2  
Old 11-22-2013, 06:39 PM
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Handywoman

Blond Handywoman - GCFL.net: The Good, Clean Funnies List

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  #3  
Old 11-22-2013, 06:44 PM
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groan

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Old 11-22-2013, 06:46 PM
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Why are there no "dumb brunettes?"

Peroxide
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  #5  
Old 11-22-2013, 06:47 PM
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gasp

Theres 2 blondes sitting on their porch, in Seattle, and its night there just looking at the Moon, when one of them asks
"I wonder which one is closer, the Moon or Florida?"
Then the other one responds....
"Thats an easy one, the Moon, duh you can see it!"
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  #6  
Old 11-22-2013, 06:48 PM
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Witty blonde

Witty blonde makes a dumb-blonde joke with her license plate | 22 Words


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  #7  
Old 11-22-2013, 06:50 PM
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A blind guy

A blind guy sits down at a bar, orders a beer, and asks the barmaid if she wants to hear a blonde joke.
The barmaid takes a shotgun out from under the bar and rack a shell, and then says: "I'm blonde and I have a gun. The two girls sitting to your right are blondes and they are professional tag team wrestlers. The girl sitting to your left is a blonde and is covered with tattoos and rides a Harley. The girl standing behind you right now is my bouncer, and she is also a blonde and has a black belt in karate. Are you sure you still want to tell that joke?"
The blind guy replies: "Well, not if I'm going to have to repeat it five times."
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Old 11-22-2013, 07:01 PM
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uh

A blonde hurried into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off... 'How did this happen?' the emergency room doctor asked her.

'Well, I was trying to commit suicide,' the blonde replied.

'What?' sputtered the doctor. 'You tried to commit suicide by shooting off your finger?'

'No, Silly' the blonde said. 'First I put the gun to my chest, and
then I thought, 'I just paid $6, 000.00 for these implants...

I'm not shooting myself in the chest.'

'So then?' asked the doctor.

'Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought, 'I just paid $3,000.00 to get my teeth straightened I'm not shooting myself in the mouth.'

'So then?'

'Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: 'This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the trigger.


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  #9  
Old 11-22-2013, 07:01 PM
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A blonde and a brunette are seatmates on a transatlantic flight. Plane jerks, captain comes on the intercom, "ladies and gentlemen, we've had a mechanical failure in one of our engines, we'll be two hours late landing at Heathrow." Says the blonde to the brunette, "well, if the other one breaks, we'll be stuck up here forever."
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  #10  
Old 11-22-2013, 07:04 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by whunter View Post
'No, Silly' the blonde said. 'First I put the gun to my chest, and
then I thought, 'I just paid $6, 000.00 for these implants...
That reminds me of the (formerly blonde) old lady who came into the emergency ward one afternoon with a bullet wound to the kneecap. The doctor asks her who shot her in the knee. "I was trying to commit suicide." "But why did you shoot yourself in the kneecap, not the heart?" "Well, someone told me that my heart was an inch below my left nipple."
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  #11  
Old 11-23-2013, 06:53 PM
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A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I want to buy this TV," she told the salesman.

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman, "I would like to buy this TV."

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

"Darn, he recognized me," she thought. She went for a complete disguise this time, haircut and perm, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before she again approached the salesman.

"I'd like to buy this TV."

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

Frustrated, she exclaimed "How do you know I'm a blonde?"

"Because that's a microwave," he replied.
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  #12  
Old 11-23-2013, 07:13 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by whunter View Post
If you don't have a sense of humor, please exit stage left..

Please:
Not more than three jokes or links per post.

Blonds lose focus after two.


.
Try dyeing your hair?
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  #13  
Old 11-23-2013, 10:36 PM
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Why was the blonde staring at the orange juice container.
- it said concentrate.

What do you call 10 blondes in a freezer?
- frosted flakes

What do you call 10 blondes in a row?
- a wind tunnel.

What do you call a brunette hooker with 2 blondes hookers
- full price ... 4 bucks, 4 bucks (From an old pizza commercial)

What do you call 10 blondes in a circle?
- a dope ring.
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  #14  
Old 11-26-2013, 11:48 PM
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What do you call 10 blondes lined up, ear to ear?



A wind tunnel!
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  #15  
Old 11-27-2013, 12:35 PM
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Wodnek . . . davidmash only beat you by just over a day . . . feelin' blonde?

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