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  #1  
Old 01-17-2014, 10:58 AM
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Dear Carolyn ...

I always wanted kids, but fate and life being as it is, I’d managed to get to my early 40s with no husband or children. Not from lack of trying, I assure you, but nothing took.

Three months ago, I started seeing a nice guy. He has potential. But I feared he’d go the way so many had: dating for a while, then moving on. This time I was determined to at least try to get something of what I want, so I did what I never thought I’d do. I lied when he asked if I was taking birth control. My bad luck coupled with the pure statistical improbability of it all really led me to believe I had little to no chance of getting pregnant.

Well, I’m looking at a positive pregnancy test. How do I do this? How do I tell this man I barely know that I lied to him and, hey, sorry but I’m about to torpedo your life?

And the worst part is what I thought would be the happiest day of my life is making me want to cry and throw up. I’ve made a huge mess and I don’t know how to fix it. I think I just didn’t realize until right now how badly I wanted the whole white-picket-fence thing, too.

from: Carolyn Hax: Woman who lied about birth control now faces pregnancy - The Washington Post

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  #2  
Old 01-17-2014, 11:45 AM
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Well, I will propose a concept that most liberals will be incapable of understanding:

Take responsibility for your actions lady!
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  #3  
Old 01-17-2014, 12:03 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Air&Road View Post
Well, I will propose a concept that most liberals will be incapable of understanding:

Take responsibility for your actions lady!
I'm not a liberal but I agree with you. She should get herself down to the local Planned Parenthood and get an abortion.
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  #4  
Old 01-17-2014, 12:27 PM
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Certainly devious of her, but where to go from here is the question.

I would be beyond pissed if I was him.

I dont know what I would do if presented with the same situation.
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  #5  
Old 01-17-2014, 12:39 PM
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If a child is born, then the best interests of the child supersedes all else.
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  #6  
Old 01-17-2014, 12:41 PM
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Originally Posted by kerry View Post
I'm not a liberal but I agree with you. She should get herself down to the local Planned Parenthood and get an abortion.
Wow....

I just have to state that that is NOT taking responsibility for your actions. That's nothing more than murdering someone else because you DON'T WANT to take responsibility.

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  #7  
Old 01-17-2014, 12:42 PM
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The methology has worked countless times in society. How it all works out eventually is a crap shoot I suppose.

Sounds like the lady was very desperate for her age. I well remember a lady quoting to me that she would marry the first guy that asked.

Why she did not broach a live in situation first I found interesting in todays world. If that was not an option this is much less so one in my opinion.
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  #8  
Old 01-17-2014, 12:46 PM
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There's that term murder again . . . which doesn't fit the legal definition in this situation.

You might mean homocide, since murder is an illegal act, as is manslaughter.
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  #9  
Old 01-17-2014, 12:50 PM
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Honesty is the best policy.

And if she is asking me for advice she has totally run out of options. Not to sound unfeeling, but her problems did not start when she lied to the guy. They started about twenty years ago and have just now come to a head.
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  #10  
Old 01-17-2014, 12:55 PM
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Originally Posted by martureo View Post
Wow....

I just have to state that that is NOT taking responsibility for your actions. That's nothing more than murdering someone else because you DON'T WANT to take responsibility.

It may not be taking responsibility the way you would take responsibility but it's definitely taking responsibility. Not acting, ignoring the lies and the pregnancy and letting things continue on their course would not be taking responsibility.

If she wants to carry the fetus to term, she needs to release the father from responsibility since he had potentially reproductive sex on the basis of the lie she told him about using birth control.
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  #11  
Old 01-17-2014, 01:04 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kerry View Post
It may not be taking responsibility the way you would take responsibility but it's definitely taking responsibility. Not acting, ignoring the lies and the pregnancy and letting things continue on their course would not be taking responsibility.

If she wants to carry the fetus to term, she needs to release the father from responsibility since he had potentially reproductive sex on the basis of the lie she told him about using birth control.
Or she could have the baby, and release the sperm donor from any liability.

Oh wait...you already said that...my bad.
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  #12  
Old 01-17-2014, 01:06 PM
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Arrow All right then. Here's the right solution. ADOPTION.

Quote:
Originally Posted by martureo View Post
Wow....

I just have to state that that is NOT taking responsibility for your actions. That's nothing more than murdering someone else because you DON'T WANT to take responsibility.

*YOU* adopt the helpless little infant, and then lovingly RAISE it, with your spouse, then cherish it and take care of it to adulthood and beyond if necessary. And God will be pleased with you.

You'll be too busy to keep caterwauling with this offensive kind of talk.

Everybody wins.

This alternative is even used in the same kind of scenario with unwanted cats and dos, not to mention newborn babies.

If you DON'T, then you can be quite rightfully be accused of being a hypocrite.
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  #13  
Old 01-17-2014, 01:07 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chilcutt View Post
Or she could have the baby, and release the sperm donor from any liability.

Oh wait...you already said that...my bad.
Could do that..would be hard decision to make on his part I'd think. Lots of if's to throw into the mix too.
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  #14  
Old 01-17-2014, 01:13 PM
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In point of fact, I don't think it's legally possible to release the sperm donor of all liability. If she ever requested the state for help with the child, the State would go after the father for child support in that instance, I think. Perhaps the lawyers here could comment.
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  #15  
Old 01-17-2014, 01:17 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kerry View Post
It may not be taking responsibility the way you would take responsibility but it's definitely taking responsibility. Not acting, ignoring the lies and the pregnancy and letting things continue on their course would not be taking responsibility.

If she wants to carry the fetus to term, she needs to release the father from responsibility since he had potentially reproductive sex on the basis of the lie she told him about using birth control.
I dont think that'll get him off the hook. Only way to stay off that hook is to not have sex at all.

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