More Stories of Phenomenally Dumb Restaurant Customers

My contribution: After reading the menu, the customer says she has a question. "Is the salmon roe "fishy?" My reply, "Yes, it's pretty much the whole fishy in one dot."

A couple comes in the tasting room with their aging MIL or Granny. They order two flights. Granny says "Do you have Mogen David?" I say no ma'am, we make our own wine here. She says "Well I'm from Kentucky and we drink Mogen David." I gave here a taste of our Zin based port. She was transported.
Birds being the biggest enemy of our grapes, we keep bird netting rolled and tied in plastic garbage bags at the ends of the rows. Handy for when we need them. They get deployed as soon as the fruit begins to blush. After her port, granny says "say, what are those black bags at the ends of all the rows, up on those poles?"
I said, why those are badger traps. "Badger traps? You have badger problems? How do they work?" I said oh my yes we have badger problems. What we do is put a little peanut butter inside the bags, and the badgers crawl up into them. Only thing badgers like better'n grapes is peanut butter. Badgers as you may know are not real bright and they can't find their way out of the bags.
"Are there any badgers in them now? They look FULL!" she said. I said I don't know I haven't checked them in several days. Her kids were cracking up....

The description on the wine card for our Fume Blanc describes it as having notes of citrus, especially grapefruit, with an herbal finish. I don't know how many times I've been asked if we use real grapefruit or artificial flavoring.

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You're a daisy if you do.
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84 Euro 240D 4spd. 220.5k sold
04 Honda Element AWD
1985 F150 XLT 4x4, 351W with 270k miles, hay hauler
1997 Suzuki Sidekick 4x4
1993 Toyota 4wd Pickup 226K and counting

There's a scene in the movie "Deli Man" where the owner of the restaurant tells of an older Jewish customer who complains that the chicken soup is too salty. He asks "It tastes salty?"

She replied, "No, it looks too salty to me."