Monday he tweaked the toilet tanks float valve so it never was even 1/2 full and so of course clogged, then flooded the bathroom with feces....

I unclogged it twice before figuring out what was going on .

Then he once again late at night unscrewed a sprinkler head, the one right next to SWMBO's nice shiny car so it gets soaked and water spotted when the sprinklers come on @ 0-Dark:30 .

I bought some basket ball sized watermelons (we're in a heat wave) and cut to of them up into a large bowl to enjoy, in the middle of the night he decided he needed to get one of the cooling down, uncut ones, dropped it on the kitchen floor cracking it 1/2 way open, hid it in the freezer then turned the freezer control to maximum....

Didn't bother cleaning his mess of course .

Thursday he came home, found a sharp knife and cut the kitchen sink sprayer's hose as SWMBO was mopping the floor in the next room ~ as soon as she turned on the faucet water came spraying out every where .

I feel sorry for this kid but he simply HAS to be the center of attention every moment of every day, 24/7 .

His special school called with more problems too .

When he becomes a teenager, God help us / the world .

__________________
-Nate
1982 240D 408,XXX miles
Ignorance is the mother of suspicion and fear is the father

I did then what I knew how to do ~ now that I know better I do better

Whew, it gets wore and worse .

I'm not supposed to know but the slitghtly older boy has been very disobedient and disrespectful to my Sweet when I'm not here . them he decided he didn't want to talk to his case worker anymore and so blocked her number on our 'phone - I didn't even know that was possible .

The case worker called in a blind panic from some emergency number after three days, we were wondering what was going on .

When called upon the carpet for this, he said 'I'm going to kill that ft white bastard'....

Sigh .

We're his last resort, he's been kicked out of many previous homes, I'm trying hard but calling my lady a ***** and so on isn't part of the program I signed on for.

Then the other one flipped out last night when she took his cell 'phone away so he'd take a shower....poor kid was blubbering like a two year old and also called her *****...

Until you've dealt with crack addled kids you've never experienced wild times .

I feel so badly for these poor kids but damn ~ how much **** am I supposed to take ? .

I'm not worried about the kid hurting me but I -do- worry about my Sweet who's elderly and has health issues .

Imagine how much fun the seriously poor folks who live in walk up rat trap cold water apartments are doing.....

__________________
-Nate
1982 240D 408,XXX miles
Ignorance is the mother of suspicion and fear is the father

I did then what I knew how to do ~ now that I know better I do better

Nate some kids are just not foster home material. At least one of the boys has no self limits. It is up to you to access if he is dangerous to the lady.

They fear nothing today as any form of correction. Most disadvantages children appreciate a solid environment with enough food. I am sure they do not want to lose the pair of you. Talk to your agency. They should not expect you to deal with this level of issues and difficulty.

I used to handle the worse of them on a contract basis but never in our home. On a contract basis I had a choice of what I would take on. They tried to get around this by making me an employee. I did not want or need almost every dirty job in the province.

They wanted the reasons for the rejection of their offer in writing. They really needed me to do rapid evaluations of what was possible with a given child. Proffessional mental health workers are not good at peeling down through the layers of difficulty like you would with an onion. Except for the rare child specialist in my opinion. The problems are too layered. I use the analogy because on some you can never peel off enough layers to establish a starting point. They will live their lives as is at everyone elses expense.

Mental health is a great help for those that want to change. At the same time for those that do not want to. Or cannot. It is useless other than medicating them down. There exists a very complex form of mental disorder in our north American society that is unknown in many countries of the world. People that have the disorder tend to overbreed so their numbers keep growing. As they have no sense of responsibility at all. I call it a form of advanced ADHD. Normal ADHD is bad enough on occasion. To me they share enough similarities it is almost like they are another specis of human beings.

I do not think the boy that did the toilet or cut the spray hose was just seeking attention. He may be subconsciously looking for confrontation. Or he may be functioning on compulsions.Yet I have never interacted with him so have to remain uncertain. I would say though that the ones that present the highest risk are usually very intelligent and can mask up very well. Remember that most signifigant inventions in the world where not made by people in the average broad spectrum of society.

The ranks of foster parents where decimated here. So they started to place children in group homes or institutions that were causing the loss of foster homes. Before they were sent to foster homes if they had too many issues.

Also you are depriving children that want and even deserve a chance. Because of the drug issue in society there are a lot of hungry children. Some schools even try to feed them. Unfortunatly the schools are closed currently. All of us even as grown ups have issues. We can live with most of them. Then there are those that have unresolvable very serious issues. No developed conscience at all or chance for it to form plus no real ability to bond with anyone. Are a typical warning things will not go well. It is genetic in nature today more so than environmental all too often. It goes well beyond a few rough edges.


I am all too observant of the drug issue in the black culture. It of course bad is in the white culture as well. Most people have no ideal of just how bad it really is.


Our grandson is out at the cottage with us. I asked him what he wants to do in life. He tops his classes with no apparent effort. The wife started an educational fund for him many years ago when he was born. I think he has gotten lazy as he mentioned a trade now. To me that was a little sad as he shows the greatest potential perhaps anyone has ever shown in the family. Plus the other two grandchildren older now are far from slouches.


There is nothing wrong with a trade but with his potential it is a shortfall. I would have liked to have half his abilities at his age and opportunities. I suspect he has gotten lazy.


I do not think it would be a struggle for him to take on being a professional. Yet it is his life. When he was young and it persisted for at least twelve years he wanted to be a scientist.

Thanx Barry ;

You summed it up pretty well .

I went through the system as a child, it wasn't anywhere near as good as it is now yet I managed to realize I was being handed a Football" that I could run with, I never let go nor did I forget that someone needs to buy those boot straps many use to pull them selves up by .

So now we apparently have new 'neighbors' who left this o the wall and also more o the garage :





FWIW, my Sweet lives near where the movie "Friday" was filmed we've had a few issues over the years but his was all done in broad daylight in the middle of the day .

The boy who said he wants to kill me finally got so bored he began asking for work to do, my Sweet set him to watering the lawn and digging up a plot of dirt she wants to plant flowers in...

It's always something, I agree they're not entirely in charge of what they do and think, being drug babies and all....

They're medicated but they still are way off the normal path .

__________________
-Nate
1982 240D 408,XXX miles
Ignorance is the mother of suspicion and fear is the father

I did then what I knew how to do ~ now that I know better I do better

You and your sweetie are heroes. Thanks for your service and contribution to our culture.

__________________
[SIGPIC] Diesel loving autocrossing grandpa Architect. 08 Dodge 3/4 ton with Cummins & six speed; I have had about 35 benzes. I have a 39 Studebaker Coupe Express pickup in which I have had installed a 617 turbo and a five speed manual.[SIGPIC]

..I also have a 427 Cobra replica with an aluminum chassis.

My Sweet certainly is, I dunno about me ~ I just remember a wretched unhappy and frightening childhood and those who took the time to give me guidance or simply try to keep me on a decent path .

Being scared isn't American although many deliberately choose to be these days, I doubt many children do .

Demarkis got some more flowers planted yesterday .

__________________
-Nate
1982 240D 408,XXX miles
Ignorance is the mother of suspicion and fear is the father

I did then what I knew how to do ~ now that I know better I do better

Daym I feel your pain. Sounds exactly like my wife’s son when we got together. He was in his 20 acting like a 2 year old still living with mommy, typical millennial. Needless to say when she moved in with me he wasn’t allowed to come along. He threw a fit and left. Haven’t seen him since. That was 10 years ago. I hear he moved to Texas and works at Verizon

__________________
1993 e300
1995 e320
1994 e320
2006 s500 4matic
2004 Jeep wj overland
2001 Ducati 748
2004 Honda shadow aero

I still feel sorry for them .

I know many choose to be jerks and then whine & cry their life away but it's still not pretty to see .

Once they get to be 18 or so I no longer put up with any crap .

__________________
-Nate
1982 240D 408,XXX miles
Ignorance is the mother of suspicion and fear is the father

I did then what I knew how to do ~ now that I know better I do better

I of course feel sorry for many situations children within normal limits land up in. My compassion for some of the others on the other hand is conditional.

They may not be able to control themselves. Yet when their primary drive is to do negative things to others more or less constantly. Even if it is not their fault. Yet at every opportunity they exercise it.

I never really attached to them. At best I tolerated them I believe. More than thirty years ago I stated what I was seeing was genetic and will not really respond to behavior management. Or reason or kindness. Structure can be a temporary control method. To limit certain excesses. Was about it. Other than medication.

Of course back then most propaganda efforts where used in attempts to call it a result of enviromental. conditioning. As those issues can respond to change.

Rather than inform society that there is a growing problem out there. I have seen the results of taking some of these children off long term medication.

Within the normal range of children problems that get parents upset and others. Really are very easy to deal with in comparison. Many are emotionally based in nature.

Professionals ask my wife on occasion what to do with their issues with their own children. Most have been too busy to pay attention to their own family until it is really very late.

They are pre warned that the wife is very direct and highly skilled. In all too many cases their children have substituted outside influences as replacements for what is basically negligent parenting. Actually many of those people never really did actual parenting.

Just my two cents worth.

In a nut shell .

I remember long ago when I was a young single father, my peers often commented on how I was "too rough" on my son, they said 'let 'em run wild now, there's plenty of time to teach 'em right from wrong when they're 12' ! .

I might add here that most of those kids are now wild in the streets, dead, druggies, or still living at home and unable to become useful members of society .

__________________
-Nate
1982 240D 408,XXX miles
Ignorance is the mother of suspicion and fear is the father

I did then what I knew how to do ~ now that I know better I do better

Well ;

Two of the ones I had high hopes fro have managed to loose their U.S.P.S. jobs.....

The most recent one for having posseion of stolen mail .

We wind 'em up and let 'em go, it's always sad to seem then choosing the poor life .

__________________
-Nate
1982 240D 408,XXX miles
Ignorance is the mother of suspicion and fear is the father

I did then what I knew how to do ~ now that I know better I do better

You tried Nate and that is about all you can do. You can lead a horse to water but you cannot make it drink.

Today in general any form of criminal conviction has become a real negative. It can deny a person many jobs and opportunities. Nobody really wants to hire a thief. Most employers do check applicants backgrounds today.

Although the wife stold my heart and has done quite a job on my wallet over the years as well. She has some form of blanket immunity though she informed me.

What we as a society are up against today is too many kids and young people just cannot think. Mind the moral aspects.

I do not know what USPS pays but It might be decent as well. Certainly the benefits should be.

Maybe they will not criminally charge the one fellow For mail theft. Just fire him and let it go at that.

My message to youngsters was never to steal. If they think of it enough they can find another legitimate way to have it.

We had a daughter that really was about the best dressed child in our area. The wife noticed some clothes in her dresser with both sides of the sales tag still atached. I told that daughter you are going to take every one back to the store you took them from and offer to work for nothing as a consequence. You are to tell them who your dad is. You really pissed me off. You are much smarter than most. She did what I told her and the majority put her to work. She would feel the fire in her hands after the embarrassing episode I knew. Before she ever touched anything again. There was never another episode.

It was not until she was thirty five..She told me one day. Dad you where tough at times I though. Yet today I appreciate the way you dealt with issues. You really know how to make a point.

The very last episode was she came home way too late one evening. I sat up reading till she appeared. I simply said never again as long as you live at home. Well she did it again. She told me you cannot do anything about this. I replied no but you no longer live here. She said she was walking to town. I said it is late and I will drive you in. I wanted to know where she was going but had an ideal to her aunt and uncles place. That was the case when I drove her into town. Two days passed and I got a call. I cannot get any sleep because of the noise they fight all night. I want to come home. The truth was she was missing the dynamics at home. So I told her no problem. I will help. I will drop off some ear plugs later today.

Next day it was okay you win. I will follow the household rules until I am finished school. How do I know you mean it I asked ? Talk is cheap.

I could see her mind in play. She said I promise. I said give me a day or two to think it over. Call me back then. When she did call back. I asked her if she had really thought about the promise. If it is valid you can come back. She was 15 years old at the time. The wife was of course listening to the conversation when I told her she could not live here anymore earlier. For whatever reason the wife did not interfere. I though she might. The problem is after age 12 in Canada. The parent has no legal rights over their children. There basically are no laws. So you have to be creative.

Thanx Barry .

The two boys that were fired from the post office are in the wind, we don't know how/what/where they're doing, they were pretty good boys before they went astray , I thought the job's bennies would keep them on the straight and narrow but no .

It pays O.K., not great but not every one gets to buy new cars and live in a house....

That's just life .

Too many want to be their children's friends, not their parents, it doesn't work that way .

My son too came home one day in his 20's I think it was and as soon as he walked in the door he said "I get it now pops" ~ similar deal : something bad happened and because I care enough to teach him properly, he knew *exactly* what to do and not to do so no problem .

Kids by nature don't have the ability to think ahead so it's important to teach them routine so they don't do foolish things by mistake .

My Sweet called me last last night, the boys were cursing like sailors and called he ***** behind her back, I took her out for a long breakfast and she said she thinks she's close to done, let them to back in December or January and move her daughter in to the empty bedroom .

Then we went grocery shopping and she begins feeling guity and buys them ice creams, popsicles, pudding cups and other trash they don't need and certainly made zero effort to earn....


Onward I trudge, I choose to be with her so I cannot complain, he heart is big but children need boundaries and limits else they wind up like husky man, alone and afraid .

__________________
-Nate
1982 240D 408,XXX miles
Ignorance is the mother of suspicion and fear is the father

I did then what I knew how to do ~ now that I know better I do better

Our household was always dynamic.

If your sweety gets to the point she has had enough. Ask for pretty normal children. Unless your system there is messed up beyond belief they will avoid the loss of her by complying. She should be offered a range of children's types to start with. They could be abusing her otherwise.

The average member of the public have no concept of just how hard it is to deal with some children. They do take a percentage of fairly normal children into the systems. As well as the ones so far from normal it is pathetic.

The system in this province went into great reforms. For all kinds of reasons. If a chlld cannot be placed in a foster home the average cost per day is getting close to 400.00 per day. That is about 12,000 a month. I handled some problems for them under contract.

To say they were pissed when I would not accept a staff position is an understatement. They had this ideal that I could handle any situation. What they did not understand it was very stressful doing it.

The old system dumped that category on foster parents until they found they were burning them out at a very fast rate. Today they cannot afford to lose them. If it can be avoided.

I would suggest your sweety have a talk with them. Otherwise it sounds like they are using her just for what they can get away with. That is placing Institutional grade children.

That is a recognized catagory by the way. They are just not fit to live in homes with families unfortunately. .

Interestingly, you're right on target .

They have multiple levels of children, we get the higher ones but since there can't keep foster parents they pay her a slightly higher rate, no where near what you mentioned though .

The system is badly broken and no one wants to fix it .

I'm here boots on the ground yet I'm not allowed to talk to the case workers so they have little understanding of what goes on day by day many foster parents are only in it for the $, they keep terrible dirty houses and spend all the kids $ on cigarettes and beer, whenever we're inspected they're flabbergasted at my Sweet's house because it's so nice .

I had more to say but she came down and said
lunch time' so off I went and forget the rest .

As we were eating she again said she wants to be done here and spend more time with me, maybe at my little tiny house .

__________________
-Nate
1982 240D 408,XXX miles
Ignorance is the mother of suspicion and fear is the father

I did then what I knew how to do ~ now that I know better I do better