Foster Children - Page 6 - PeachParts Mercedes-Benz Forum

t walgamuth · #76 06-12-2020, 09:02 AM

Best of luck to you and your sweety.

vwnate1 · #77 06-12-2020, 09:55 AM

Thanx ! .

We're plugging away.....

barry12345 · #78 06-12-2020, 05:25 PM

The administration side usually watches the budgets and are too tight fisted. Until the system deteriorates beyond acceptance. It seems to be the historical way. It will always remain about money to some degree.

When the fostering system is in true collapse Their costs go ballistic. That seems to be what it takes to get things more organized. It has happened here and they have not figured out exactly how to address it. They have floated one good ideal though. If the lady of the house stays home and does not work out. Pay her a decent salary as well as the foster care per diems.

There historically has been too large a financial gap between them directly supporting and dealing with a child. Versus the renumeration for foster parents. Most systems that exist look at other systems for methology that works today and others do not. Until things just no longer work.

Staying home and keeping house for children that you directly where never responsible for is a job. Not a hobby or pastime.

Retention of experienced foster parent is critical today. As many of the new ones just do not have the experience. I advocated many years ago that to be a foster parent you should have already raised one family. People that have not just do not have enough experience and usually their lives are also too busy.

I will give some numbers that are being bounced around currently. Five hundred a week tax free for the lady of the house to stay at home instead of working out. A comprehensive list of real expenses that need covering besides the per diems are in force in progressive areas. This will not make foster parents rich by any means. Also instead of giving them a little higher per diem for the difficult child. Pay them a monthly fee for competency if they have it. . So they can get easy children as well. Sub standard enviroments are usually created because there is not enough money to start with.

My own thoughts are simplistic. Doing the right thing may or may not help much. Yet 100 years from now the difference of doing the right thing does not really matter too much in the overall picture. Other than it would not have hurt. he cost forgotten with time.

You have been pretty accurate in especially one area. The increased use of drugs across society. Is going to require a much better support system for many of the children of the users. There is really too heavy a price to e paid eventually for not really getting rid of the drug trade. Some countries actually do it.

vwnate1 · #79 06-12-2020, 09:55 PM

You mentioned doing the right thing, the very definition of character is doing the right thing even when no one is looking .

barry12345 · #80 06-14-2020, 02:55 PM

They have really gone to work on the issues in this province. As it finally dawned on them. What they had that had existed for decades ceased functioning.

The big one was when they found out they were not only liable. The amount of money paid out to foster children became a reality. When they were sued by them.

Society changed as well when possibly Most women had to work outside the home as well. This left periods where there was no real supervision of the children. Plus the lady of the house was still stuck with all the home functions. For children that she was not truly responsible for.

To stay out of the work force was not an option for the women either. The costs of living had risen to the extent that both parents had to work. Actually a reduction in the standard of living took place. Where one salary all too often could no longer support a household. So it is reasonable to pay them for staying home. This is the football that is being kicked around right now. No better ideal seems to be present.

The biggest change was perhaps their awareness that children that were not fit to live in families where not put into foster families. Plus when the educational system saw problems. They developed an input that could not be ignored. Their policy became that neglect by parents of children was causing them too many issues. They insisted it be addressed.

They also evaluated some of the incidental true costs involved with children that escape most foster parents. And paid them monthly as well.

One other large change is they appointed social workers. To oversee that the more modern system was being used properly by workers. They oddly have power over the normal social workers and their sole job is to police the system.

It is getting to the point that they can again recruit new foster parents. To screen out the ones that just do it for the money. As there is real money now. A two year training program is in effect. Before they get any children. Will this more modern system take hold in the larger cities? It depends somewhat on how successful it is here.

vwnate1 · #81 06-15-2020, 09:53 PM

Still rough here I'm sorry to say .

Not much $ in it either .

Kenjay flipped out yesterday and again to - day when I got home .

Likely partially due to cabin fever, I took him out for a ride, I had errands to run .

To - morrow I'll load them all up and take then into the country for a day out .

t walgamuth · #82 06-15-2020, 11:15 PM

Sounds like a good time for the kids!

vwnate1 · #83 06-15-2020, 11:47 PM

I hope so .

Friday I took them up into the Angeles National Forest where there was a spot full of hot rods, race cars and Motocycles, they remained in the car as I walked around and talked to other folks.....

These kids are damaged goods, I'm trying to get them to connect to life and have a good one but it's hard, so very hard .

Usually any time I get them near cars, trucks or bike they're all over it .

barry12345 · #84 06-23-2020, 01:52 PM

Finding things that consume their physical energy can help. Excess levels of accumulated energy can produce many odd or undesirable behaviors. . Easier said than done unfortunately in many cases. This applies in general to all children.

vwnate1 · #85 06-24-2020, 03:57 PM

.

....Are the devils workshop so the old saying goes .

I try but it's hard, mostly they want to play video games all day long .

They were having a ball in the pool until one cut his feet, I have no idea how and he's very vague on it but no bleeders are allowed in the swimming pool .

barry12345 · #86 06-24-2020, 05:25 PM

I really hear you and for what it is worth. Nobody has the answers to a lot of problems many children present today. It is a totally different era to the one the vast majority of us grew up in.

Natural curiosity alone seems to be missing from a lot of them. I am getting to be one of the oldest members on our site. The changes in children from my youth period are massive. Chances are they will even grow more so as time passes.

Certainly there are still well adjusted children out there. Yet the severity of the problematic ones now exceeds what was. There was no such thing as threatening the stability of the family without very serious feedback..When I was a child.

Today for a percentage they think it is a right basically. You never hear things like as long as I pay the bills around here you will act and behave properly. From parents. Or else.

The one I liked in my family as a child. You keep it up from our mother and I will tell your father. You really did not want it to go there.

vwnate1 · #87 06-24-2020, 10:56 PM

You're right ~ all of the children we've gotten have come from drug users and horrible situations .

Most of the case workers are hostile black women who are more into hating men than helping the children, it's very sad and frustrating .

The boys therapists tell me they cannot talk to me about the boys at all, neither what they think nor what the boys are actually doing or what their needs are .

One of them is not getting the meds he needs ~ the doctor changed his meds but the medicare keeps denying payment and at close to $270 / month it's way out of our ability to pay for them .

I don't know what to do, they seem maybe bipolar as they switch from nice to angry and mean spirited in an eyeblink .

I remember a TV animated sit come from the 1970's called "wait 'till your father gets home" ~ about just what you mentioned Barry .

barry12345 · #88 06-25-2020, 05:53 PM

Odd that their drug expenses are not covered separately by the agency. Factually they are the legally responsible party of the child in care.

Most times the medication takes the edge off the problems if not a real noticeable improvement results.

Therapist not talking to the surrogate parent is a new one on me. They should at least be filing a report with the agency and you might source it from them.

Although if they say it is confidential can also be convention. Under age fourteen it is unusual to actually state a diagnosis even if known. If the problem is serious. Yet generally they will tell you the general direction without a label being attached.

For those that do not have any activity or exposure to certain areas of society. You would be very surprised at the state many children are in. It possibly exceeds what you might even imagine. You can have massive abilities and training even and do little for them. I do think children of druggies are in a class of their own though in too may ways.

From birth till the time taken into care the majority of them seem to have been taught almost nothing in their prior situation.. So they lack even common comprehension in many cases. If they are lucky they hit foster care. Most relatives will also not take them in. As they are too damaged or abnormal.

Most of them will appreciate getting the normal things. At the same time there will be ongoing serious issues. They are just starting to hit the system up here in numbers. It is one hell of a mess. Some are just too damaged. Some will recover from it.

As far as I can determine drugs became the epicenter of their parents lives. Nothing else including any children meant anything to them. At best perhaps some form of increased assistance to buy even more drugs. Even getting enough food for their kids goes by the wayside. . To me it is actually scary what drugs can do to people.

Fortunately the educational system here has to report the state some children are in when they start school. Plus it is really followed up. If it cannot be straightened up. Usually some relative gets the kids. If not foster care. Then adoption if possible.

Nate you mention all the children have been from the druggy background. Ask the agency perhaps if you can get a rest from the type. They do have other types of children. There are usually some pretty normal kids in the systems.

vwnate1 · #89 06-25-2020, 08:14 PM

You hit the nail on the head pretty much .

One time they gave us a white boy, he walked to the nearby 7-11 and bought a slurpee, was walking back out the door when some gang banger shot another one to death right in front of him .

He didn't even come back to our house ~ he took off running and they found him a few days later in Lancaster, over the mountains and into the Desert...

The fact that the ones being paid to help actively prevent them from getting help really pisses me off .

A very nice lady I know who's now in her 80's tells me that the refusal to face the fact that their minds are damaged by the parents drugs means there's little chance of ever really helping them .

That no one seems to care that this poor boy isn't getting his updated medications speak volumes about the entire system .

When I was on the job, I'd blow up everyone's in box asking for help and I didn't stint on the ugly details because I knew they'd later say "I had no idea things were so bad" .

It's a nasty dirty job, like being a Farmer : you have to be up to your waist in **** every day ~ if that bothers you, GET A DIFFERENT JOB because children's lives hang in the balance .

Them's the FACTS Jack .

t walgamuth · #90 06-26-2020, 08:18 AM

Thank you for your dedication to the kids, Nate.