Parts Catalog Accessories Catalog How To Articles Tech Forums
Call Pelican Parts at 888-280-7799
Shopping Cart Cart | Project List | Order Status | Help



Go Back   PeachParts Mercedes-Benz Forum > General Discussions > Off-Topic Discussion

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
  #91  
Old 06-26-2020, 02:18 PM
vwnate1's Avatar
Diesel Dandy
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Sunny So. Cal. !
Posts: 7,195
Post Paying It Back / Forward

Kenjay is up and eating a corn dog for breakfast as I typ .

I don't think I would have still been alive but for those who stepped up when I was a wild and angry child in the streets .

I left a bad home situation at age 8 and am often surprised I'm still alive much less successful and content .

__________________
-Nate
1982 240D 408,XXX miles
Ignorance is the mother of suspicion and fear is the father

I did then what I knew how to do ~ now that I know better I do better
Reply With Quote
  #92  
Old 06-26-2020, 07:19 PM
t walgamuth's Avatar
dieselarchitect
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Lafayette Indiana
Posts: 38,224
Eight?

Yikes!

You are a story of self reliance and hard work!
__________________
[SIGPIC] Diesel loving autocrossing grandpa Architect. 08 Dodge 3/4 ton with Cummins & six speed; I have had about 35 benzes. I have a 39 Studebaker Coupe Express pickup in which I have had installed a 617 turbo and a five speed manual.[SIGPIC]

..I also have a 427 Cobra replica with an aluminum chassis.
Reply With Quote
  #93  
Old 06-26-2020, 07:33 PM
vwnate1's Avatar
Diesel Dandy
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Sunny So. Cal. !
Posts: 7,195
Post My Story

.

....More like ignorance, foolishness and stubborn beyond belief .

It wasn't an easy road by any means but I'm still here and content .

One more reason why I dislike husky man's endless lying, he has no idea about real life .
__________________
-Nate
1982 240D 408,XXX miles
Ignorance is the mother of suspicion and fear is the father

I did then what I knew how to do ~ now that I know better I do better
Reply With Quote
  #94  
Old 06-26-2020, 08:51 PM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,924
Nate not only do I commend you for working things out personally. I am all too well aware of the dismal percentage that really do. The problem is many children's problems are really societies problems. I had a very happy childhood and had enough common sense to appreciate it.

I got little mental relief that my poor lasting results with difficult children where at least twice as good as the official statistics. As they were still far too low to me. We are talking single digit territory at official statistics.

Canada and America are on two different paths. America of course is much better in certain things and Canada in some other things. That said I understand in the larger Canadian cities the system is a real mess. At least in the region we live in it has become very progressive. It is a world of difference from the older child welfare system. .

Basically ever effort is made with no issue about costs. If they produce results. Since about fifty percent of the population live from paycheck to paycheck. It was decided to make things better for them and their families.

So they get the same quality of medicine as we do. Affordable drugs. Five hundred a month for each child they have. Endless realistic grants and programs. We as a family are not eligiable for most things and have absolutely no issue with that. Where in America the wealthy seem to get pissed off with sharing anything. Trump wanting to do away with Obama's program is all too typical.

What is odd at least to me is I am a capitalistic type but fully approve of all the money not going and sitting at the top of the pyramid. Money has little meaning to us as a couple after we got past a certain point.

Why people want more than they can ever sensibly spend in their remaining lifetimes is beyond me. I at the same time well remember the early struggling days. In fact the wife and myself occasionally discuss them. She had a pretty rough start in life. Anything but a happy childhood.

It made her mentally very strong and able. She means everything to me. I once asked her why she chose me to victimize. She told me she was slumming. She also has what I sometimes hear described as a sixth sense.

I personally never really gave up on a child. Sometimes the improvements to them if any where very limited. Or temporary. Regression is about par all to often. Still something drives you to make the effort.

I remember a call about two years ago. We have a five year old black girl that cannot talk. It was suggested that you and your wife have a look at her. It only took a short time to establish she was consumed by fear. If she even made a noise she was beaten. I felt she understood what people said by her reactions to it.

Sometimes I use our dogs. I told her these are your friends. They are our friends as well. We never hurt them. They never hurt us. Some children kill pets.

At that point I was uncertain of what was really wrong but suspected the possibility of chronic fear. The larger dog perhaps sensed the fear from her as I saw him looking all over for the source. His intensity concerned me.

So we made once upon a time stories up that nobody in this house hurts anyone ever. After awhile she started to talk but I could not understand it. Fear has a language all it's own. It took about a week for the total gibberish to stop. Then it was daddy gives me pets and then kills them in front of me.

So now it was getting complex as she had been both physically and emotionally abused to a serious extent. She was of course delayed in development but had a good mind. She may not have survived at all if she did not know how to reduce that abuse.

Not from her but I found out her mother had been in a serious motorcycle accident and had brain damage. I cautioned the adoptive parents that she will have some periodic flashbacks but otherwise you could not ask for a better child to adopt.

That family visits us on the first of July. Camping on the cottage property. The child has exceeded expectations. That family asked and was assured that we had no racial bias. Before we met them. As they knew we had input on who an acceptable family would be.

I met a therapist at her office once. She had a dog with her. Her dog came to me and would not leave. She said I had heard you use dogs too.

Then said this is the first time ever the dog has not returned back to her after greeting clients and people like me in nine years. What does it mean? I said I was not sure. I hoped she forgave the partial lie. I was not sure but thought she might die. She did. Not that I really expected it. She knew she was very sick or perhaps did not. The dog knew as it turned out. Or it was just coincidence? You never really can be certain. Perhaps the dog just liked me. Yet it obviously did not like anyone else that much in the prior nine years. I still have some concerns about that meeting. I did not think dogs knew what death was.

Dogs are very good at interpreting children if you can read them. As children grow older they become too complex. Yet dogs seem to even know their owners health etc. if they are certain breeds. It is not magic or training. Their sense of smell is not only highly developed. It is their primary source of information. A good dog shows some form of physical reaction to that. You as a human have to pick it up or try to interpret it usually.

I have no belief in anything of a super natural nature. If it has no logic I dismiss it. I have always liked children. They add a dynamic in life that I would miss. We are not really foster parents in the accepted meaning. The wife is far too much involved with the administration side of improving the system. So she is gone several days a week. This virus thing has given her a break.

We are not paid the same either. For services rendered. In the majority of cases we deal with children that have high intellect. Their seems to be a curse with high intelligence. It is where real problems are. That are very hard to deal with. It is very interesting work but it is work. You are almost in uncharted territory sometimes. I like the challenges.
Reply With Quote
  #95  
Old 06-26-2020, 11:06 PM
vwnate1's Avatar
Diesel Dandy
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Sunny So. Cal. !
Posts: 7,195
Post Getting By

Thanx for your input .

It isn't easy .

One of our boys came from and was oh so proud to be from 18th street in L.A., they made sure he never forgot and didn't waste much time on schooling, taking baths or anything else that might have moved him ahead .

When he left us at age 18 he moved into an 18th street gang apartment complex and got his G.F. pregnant, the following year his "homies" broke down his door and shot him to death in front of his lady and baby .

He was able to crawl to a window and get out, died on the sidewalk .

I tried so hard to explain to him this was the path he was choosing but he never grasped the idea of a decent life .

Sadly I have many such stories .

Most of the kids I was incarcerated with n the 1960's, are now dead, mostly because they flat refused to even try .

We're coming to the end of a short Desert vacation, the boys came back from the pool slightly after mid day, some mother threw her 4 year old boy into the pool after he said he was afraid if the water, he puked and they had to close and clean the entire HUGE 184,000 gallon pool.....

Life goes on .
__________________
-Nate
1982 240D 408,XXX miles
Ignorance is the mother of suspicion and fear is the father

I did then what I knew how to do ~ now that I know better I do better
Reply With Quote
  #96  
Old 06-27-2020, 02:18 PM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,924
I guess the reality is if a youth does not want to help themselves. . Probably there is little reasonable situations ahead. You cannot motivate an individual that does not want it either..

You can usually identify the ones that have a very limited future I have always found. They will not consider any ones advice or guidance really. Usually they make about the worse decisions possible. It can be pretty discouraging at times to observe.

In life at the same time I have met a lot of guys that have pulled themselves up from bad situations.

Basically ground level foster parents resort to trying to establish a basic structure to live by. As many children that come in to care had none previously. It really is a combination of all the simple stuff a lot of us grew up with.

I am not a great fan of women having to work out with children. The kids need the normal structure. At the same time it is almost an economic necessity today.

In my time with our children the wife was able to stay home. One paycheck did it. Also this single parent situation is pretty much endemic today. That has to be a pretty difficult path in most cases.

Human nature being what it is. I just hope the situation does not further deteriorate. I am for good sensible progress yet in some ways certain things in the past where better. It is a little rough at my age when I look at todays costs and young families.

I personally suspect the real standard of living has really deteriorated for far too many over the years. A lot of it is partially covered up with excess credit use. I am not a chronic complainer either. To me these things are pretty much just the reality.

I also do not think there is anything wrong with compulsory common sense education. For people on welfare. So many are so far down in the mud it is pathetic. They generate second and third generations with the welfare mentality.

I guess it all boils down to a country having the will to address a lot of things. Make people a real priority. Put money and effort where it can produce desirable results. It probably is also cost effective.

When north America lost so much industrial capacity. People should have left the larger cities perhaps in substantial numbers. Instead the large cities grow almost constantly.

We left the largest city in Canada 40 plus years ago and never looked back. You could not pay us to live like they do there now. Perhaps a good place to visit once in awhile. Yet really expensive with lots of problems to live there . Still so far the residents never seem to consider the whole country is not the same..

For example the educational system here has none of the problems typical in larger cities. They do not teach to the lowest possible denominator. The kids here respect the teachers. So they tend to get a good solid start educational wise. There are minimal problems with people here as well.
Reply With Quote
  #97  
Old 06-27-2020, 03:52 PM
vwnate1's Avatar
Diesel Dandy
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Sunny So. Cal. !
Posts: 7,195
Post The Basics

...Are what every child needs but for some reason, they're not considered important these days .

I didn't want to be good as a child either I don't think, children are by nature inquisitive and attracted by easy to master things .

Critical thinking was removed from the class room in the 1970's and the predictable results are now causing mayhem .

Agreed that dual parenting is important , women are equal but equal doesn't mean the same.....
__________________
-Nate
1982 240D 408,XXX miles
Ignorance is the mother of suspicion and fear is the father

I did then what I knew how to do ~ now that I know better I do better
Reply With Quote
  #98  
Old 06-29-2020, 12:57 PM
vwnate1's Avatar
Diesel Dandy
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Sunny So. Cal. !
Posts: 7,195
Post The Latest

O.K. so Demarkis ripped the carpeting loose in my 240D for fun, then he sprayed this lat top with grease from his breakfast, sadly I didn't notice it and slipped it into the bag, discovered the smeared grease when I took it out agin this morning...

On the way home yesterday he deliberately broke the seat belt receiver in the back seat , he's always doing something to get attention , it matters not if good or bad attention, it has to be all Demarkis all the time, 24/7 and me, I'm pretty tired of it after all these years .

I'd hate to have to choose between my lady and the boys but soon I will be forced to .
__________________
-Nate
1982 240D 408,XXX miles
Ignorance is the mother of suspicion and fear is the father

I did then what I knew how to do ~ now that I know better I do better
Reply With Quote
  #99  
Old 06-29-2020, 02:31 PM
t walgamuth's Avatar
dieselarchitect
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Lafayette Indiana
Posts: 38,224
We'll support you whichever way you go.
__________________
[SIGPIC] Diesel loving autocrossing grandpa Architect. 08 Dodge 3/4 ton with Cummins & six speed; I have had about 35 benzes. I have a 39 Studebaker Coupe Express pickup in which I have had installed a 617 turbo and a five speed manual.[SIGPIC]

..I also have a 427 Cobra replica with an aluminum chassis.
Reply With Quote
  #100  
Old 06-30-2020, 02:33 AM
vwnate1's Avatar
Diesel Dandy
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Sunny So. Cal. !
Posts: 7,195
Thumbs up Support

Thanx, I appreciate it .

I sent to - day searching for, finding buying and cleaning another rear seat belt.

I get to my Sweet's house and the child in question is sitting on our bed wrapped in our blankets watching the T.V......

There's a T.V. in the family room, used to be two but he smashed one for no apparent reason .

He was of course surly towards me and made a point of repeatedly interrupting me when I was talking to my Sweet .

I'll never forget those who took the time to help me out when I was a wild out of control youth , I wish I could go back and THANK THEM profusely .
__________________
-Nate
1982 240D 408,XXX miles
Ignorance is the mother of suspicion and fear is the father

I did then what I knew how to do ~ now that I know better I do better
Reply With Quote
  #101  
Old 06-30-2020, 12:19 PM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,924
In most cases just pulling yourself up is all those people would have hoped for. They never look for thanks. It is just the human thing to attempt to do by some. For others.

You and your sweety probably are not getting any younger. You need an easier grade of kids to avoid burn out. Are there an officials in your fostering system you two can talk to? It is very hard on the head to deal with a diet of almost constant destruction. Or a total lack of respect for your efforts.

I understand almost exactly how you must feel about now. A greased up laptop and a wrecked safety belt in only about one day. Here you would get a new laptop and the money to have a garage deal with the seatbelt. All destruction or damage is covered by a blanket insurance provision of the agency.

I am preparing an older Honda for resale to a child I dealt with years ago. It has been sitting for two years or perhaps a little longer. It only has 60K miles on it. I have started to tell him what to expect with an older car like this one. The next 100k miles should be reasonably cheap maintenance wise.

He has been buying a steady diet of really high millage junk.


I only parked this car because the jetta diesel came along in the right condition and the right price and it was loaded. I will drive the Honda for a week or so to pick off any issues from sitting. After it gets a new battery and one front caliper. Plus I am going to replace two tires.


Why because I think he is trying but just does not have enough brainpower. As a general rule I never resell a car I would not be driving myself.
Reply With Quote
  #102  
Old 06-30-2020, 02:38 PM
vwnate1's Avatar
Diesel Dandy
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Sunny So. Cal. !
Posts: 7,195
Wink Kids These Days

Don't forget the have the cam belt changed before letting the kid have that Honda ! .

I'd also highly recommend flushing the cooling system and re filling it with the correct HONDA dealer coolant, yes there is a difference .

As far as the agency, we're supposedly getting the cream of the crop, that's not saying much .

Because drug babies / children are so hard, no one wants to be a Foster parent anymore .

We've tried the younger ones, teenagers and families ~ we once took in four brothers right off skid row, only one made it O.K. ,

Yes, my lady is about to turn 78 Y.O. and has rheumatoid arthritis and some other health issues so I hope she'll throw in the towel at the end of the year but who knows .
__________________
-Nate
1982 240D 408,XXX miles
Ignorance is the mother of suspicion and fear is the father

I did then what I knew how to do ~ now that I know better I do better
Reply With Quote
  #103  
Old 02-20-2022, 03:44 PM
vwnate1's Avatar
Diesel Dandy
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Sunny So. Cal. !
Posts: 7,195
Post Sunday Morning

O.K., it's late Sunday morning (nearly noon), I was up paying bills around sunup when Demarkis came in and said good morning, I asked him if he wanted to take a ride to fill up the 240D and get some coffee, he said yes and quickly changed into street clothes, as we drove he brought me up to date on his life, school, random things like saying "did you know that saying 12" means the police (? eh ?) and then said 'I have a taste for pancakes this morning' ~ I asked him if he meant he'd like to make some and he said yes, he's taking home economics and wanted to try making strawberry pancakes, we detoured to food 4 less and I bought him a 1/2 pound , he asked me to slice them up, I did then SWMBO came into the kitchen and pretty much took over, he's helping more than cooking but always wants to help or try something

Kenjay's father came by last night and took him overnight, he's been taking Kenjay out for the days every two or three weeks, this is the first overnight and I hope it's O.K. ~ his father has been in rehab for five years .

My Sweet says she thinks Kenjay's mother might be back with his father, we'll see how it goes .
__________________
-Nate
1982 240D 408,XXX miles
Ignorance is the mother of suspicion and fear is the father

I did then what I knew how to do ~ now that I know better I do better
Reply With Quote
  #104  
Old 02-20-2022, 04:18 PM
vwnate1's Avatar
Diesel Dandy
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Sunny So. Cal. !
Posts: 7,195
Question OBTW :

Barry ;

How's the adopted little girl doing ? .
__________________
-Nate
1982 240D 408,XXX miles
Ignorance is the mother of suspicion and fear is the father

I did then what I knew how to do ~ now that I know better I do better
Reply With Quote
  #105  
Old 02-21-2022, 03:19 AM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,924
The wife is in periodic contact with the adoptive mother. The other two children accepted her into the family very well. That lady knows how to run a family. The adoptive girl is working out really well. The wife expected she would.

It is perhaps one of the hardest things to deal with when a child is destructive. Several things come into play almost instantly. It creates stress on the receiving end. The reasons they do it appears almost mindless and are very hard to understand . As there appears to be no logic to it usually .In many cases it appears as just a compulsive behavior.

Very early you have to establish what is working in a child. Depending on what human values are not present or are. Personally I suspect some of this is a genetic issue. Pretty much determines if they are foster home material or not.

Not wanting to belong is to me a lack of awareness of the benefits. It can get very complex very fast. It is too late for many children and they really cannot be part of a foster family. Put simply if you cannot find any existence of any foundation in there emotional makeup. Nothing can be built on it. They have to have something to work or build on. None of us are perfect. Still at least many things are still functioning. Call it empathy, conciense or a multitude of emotional things.

I respect other people unless they prove not entitled to it. If i respect nobody would be a real unsurmountable problem. If kindness is not appreciated by another is yet another one.

Government residential homes are being created here again. As children that are not fit to live in foster homes are being placed in them. Saving the loss of a high percentage of foster homes. Using foster homes as containment or holding tanks has failed.

Leaving home at eight years of age. Strongly increased the chances of you not having had a long lifespan. Same with the foster boy you have now. Noticed this time and time again. Generally society is unaware of it though. You kind of beat the odds.

Looking back some of my friends died before age twelve. I came close to it a couple of times before that age as well. My parents did not know we hopped on freight trains and otherwise played on the railway. I almost lost both legs and a friend got his head squashed. I stopped when I almost lost my legs. It was not that long after my friend got his head squashed.

Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On




All times are GMT -4. The time now is 08:02 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2022, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0
Copyright 2018 Pelican Parts, LLC - Posts may be archived for display on the Peach Parts or Pelican Parts Website -    DMCA Registered Agent Contact Page