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  #1  
Old 11-10-2002, 06:15 PM
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Has anyone ever...

Has anyone ever told a friend that they really fancy them (in a serious manner)? Or know someone that did it?

What happened?

Failing that, is there any better way of going about this?

Glad I can call on you guys' experience !
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  #2  
Old 11-10-2002, 06:54 PM
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Fancy means "like" in British english.
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  #3  
Old 11-10-2002, 07:18 PM
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Just tell em and see what happens . They might fancy you too.
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  #4  
Old 11-10-2002, 07:34 PM
sflori
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Ditto what Jim said.

Just be easy going about it, accept whatever she says and absolutely don't push the issue. If she's interested, she'll let you know, if not, there's nothing in the world that you can do about it-- it'll drive you insane if you try.

Hope it work out in your favor!!

PS Of course if you lived here in the States, all you'd have to do is take her onto national television to express your feelings in front of millions of people!!
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Old 11-10-2002, 08:01 PM
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Kinda on topic here.. I want to see what sort of thing I will get out of this. Its a long story, so I will narrow it down a lot. I met this cool girl 3 years ago... I really like her... maybe more than just like. We are now close friends but everytime I want to ask her out.. she's in a relation. What makes it even more complicated is.. she lives in Europe, but I do see her like 3 months of the year. This has been bugging me lately.. so should I continue to wait? Oh.. and she found out this year about my feelings towards her and it looked good
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Old 11-10-2002, 09:10 PM
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Quote:
PS Of course if you lived here in the States, all you'd have to do is take her onto national television to express your feelings in front of millions of people!!



ROFL!!!!
Soooo true!!!
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  #7  
Old 01-26-2003, 09:26 AM
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Quote:
Originally posted by sflori
Ditto what Jim said.

Just be easy going about it, accept whatever she says and absolutely don't push the issue. If she's interested, she'll let you know, if not, there's nothing in the world that you can do about it-- it'll drive you insane if you try.
Very True I would say now.


Well... a very late update here. I did it, and, well it was all cool. Oh she didn't like me too by the way :-( But don't worry, it *totally* doesn't screw up your friendship, in fact if you are relaxed about it and say 'that's totally cool, i accept that, yeah i agree lets be friends', they'll like you much more.

The only worry is that they may now act differently if they think you are doing things (drinks/dinner/parties/whatever) to get together with them, so take the time to explain, everything you do from now on is 'as friends only'. Then there's no akwardness, and you can keep asking her out 'as friends' etc. Do this and you'll end up much closer to the person than if you hadn't told her... which is in the right direction for your ultimate goal.. and still good even if you stop liking her.

Oh and if you don't tell her, it'll keep eating you and p*ss**g you off. Just do it, I say. Kinda fun, too.. you feel like you're in a film, most probably featuring Ben Affleck


just my advice and experience.

later
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2.0E 8v 1986 107,000m Black 2nd owner
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  #8  
Old 01-27-2003, 01:15 PM
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Unhappy Not to be a sourpuss but...

I hope you have a contingency plan if she rebuffs you...will you still remain friends?

I would find it hard to remain (just) friends with a person who I am attracted to. It would crush me emotionally, if that person didn't feel the same, and yet, wanted to continue the friendship.

From experience, quit beating yourself up and decide to pursue relationships that show a tangible chance of blossoming into something more meaningful than friendship. Otherwise, you will be stumbling along from one woman to another without any fullfillment for yourself.

Women have no problem letting a man know that she finds him desireable. Even the most clueless guy can pick up the "cues". So if you haven't gotten any feedback from your friend, she is probably not interested, or you have been giving strong vibes that you never were particularly interested in her.

I may be a bit pessimistic on this topic, but I have been in the same situation in countless "friendships" where I was the safe guy "friend" that women spent casual times with while they struggled with relationships with boyfriends or lovers. When I shared my feelings, they were flattered...but nothing else.

Over time, the number of those incidents had me throw up my hands in despair, swear off women forever, and voraciously pursue other interests in order to keep my mind off the issue.

So I finished college, got a job, completed an MBA, rebuilt my VW and amassed car show trophies, bought a keyboard and played in bands, etc. etc.

When I did get back in the game, I quit looking for friendships and focused on loftier interests. That approach landed me a wonderful girlfriend, and now wife of 11 years.
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