A priest, a rabbi and a Pentecostal preacher would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk "shop".

One day someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. Well, one thing led to another and before it was over they decided to do a 7 day experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear and preach to it.

It's now 7 days later and they're all together to discuss the experience. Father O'Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages goes first.

"Wellll," he says in a fine Irish brouge, "Ey wint oot into th' wooods to fynd me a bearr. Oond when Ey fund him Ey began to rread to him from the Baltimorre Chatecism. Welll, thet bearr wanted naught to do wi' me und begun to slap me aboot. So I quick grrabbed me holy water and, THE SAINTS BE PRAISED, he became as gintle as a lamb. The bishop is cooming oot next wik
to give him fierst communion und confierrmation."

Reverend Billy Bob speaks next. He's in a wheel chair, with an arm and both legs in casts and an I.V. drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he proclaims, "WELL brothers....you KNOW that we don't sprinkle........WE DUNK! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to him from God's HOOOOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. I SAY NO! He
wanted NOTHING to do with me. So I took HOOOLD of him and we began to rassle. We rassled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another untill we come to a crick.. So'se I quick DUNK him and BAPTIZE his hairy soul. An' jus like you sez, he wuz gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the week in fellowship, feasting on God's HOOOOLY word."

They both look down at the rabbi who's laying in a hospital bed. He's in a body cast & traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. The rabbi looks up and says "Oy! You don't know what tough is until you try to circumcise one of those creatures."

I think I'm offended on many levels, just don't know why... hmm, err.. moderator??

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1985 190D 2.2l Sold-to Brother-in-law
1996 Mustang 3.8l -"thinks it's a sports car"
1988 Grand Wagoneer - Sold (good home)
1995 Grand Cherokee Ltd -"What was I thinking??!!"

I heard of a story of a very similar trio. Rabbi, Irishman and Indian fellow traveling across the farm belt when their car breaks down. They find shelter for the night at a nearby farm house. The famer says though, "Can only put up two of you in the house, one of you gets the barn". Indian fellow say he'll go. Lights out and a few minutes later, there is a banging on the farmhouse door. Farmer answers the door and sees it is the Indian fellow, who says, "Can't sleep in the barn, cow in there, sacred in my religion". The rabbi says OK, he'll go. Few minutes later, Bang! Bang! on the door. Farmer gets up to see the rabbi there. Rabbi says, "Pig in the barn, can't sleep in there". The exasperated Irishman says "OK OK OK, let's get some sleep, I'll sleep in the barn!" Few minutes later, Bang! Bang! on the front door. The farmer drags himself up and opens the front door and there's a pig and a cow standing there.

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!

A guy is feeling terrible, goes in to see his Doc. "Doc, ya gotta help me. I feel horrible. What's wrong with me?" Doc does a complete battery of tests and returns with the results. The guy is a little apprehensive now because the Doc is now wearing a mask. "OK Doc, give it to me straight, what's wrong with me?" "Well", the Doc says, "You've got Hepatitis A, B and C. And a curious strain of Ebola and what looks like incipient SARS". The guy, almost in a panic now, "Well, what do I do, Doc?" The Doc says, "Well, the first thing we do is put you on a very strict diet of flapjacks and filet of sole". "Will that make me better?", the guys asks hopefully. And the Doc says, "Well, no, but that's the only food we can get under the door".

A priest, a rabbi, and pastor are standing by the side of the road pounding a sign into the ground that reads: "The End is Near! Turn yourself around now before it's too late!"

"Leave us alone you religious nuts!" yelled a driver as he sped by.

From around the curve they heard screeching tires and a big splash.
The rabbi turns to the others and asks, "Do you think maybe the sign should just read 'Bridge Out?'"

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They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety. Benjamin Franklin, A.D. 1759

Roger
1975 240D
1986 560SL