Parts Catalog Accessories Catalog How To Articles Tech Forums
Call Pelican Parts at 888-280-7799
Shopping Cart Cart | Project List | Order Status | Help

Go Back   PeachParts Mercedes-Benz Forum > General Discussions > Off-Topic Discussion

LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 11-21-2003, 01:20 AM
sfloriII's Avatar
Still pedaling...
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Northern VA
Posts: 1,614
Smile Children say the funniest things.....

(The last one is a little "colorful", so consider this your warning!-- Stefano)

Why We Love Children
> 1. A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead.
> "How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her pupil. "Because I
> pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently. You did
> WHAT ? ! ?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise. "You know," explained the boy,
> leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move."
> 2. A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes
> later....."Da-ad...." "What?" "I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?"
"No, You had your
> chance. Lights out." Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad....." "WHAT?" "I'm
> Can I have a drink of water??" I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to
> spank you!!" Five minutes later......"Daaaa-aaaad....." "WHAT!" "When you
> come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"
> 3. An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally
> asked him "How do you expect to get into Heaven?" The boy thought it over and
> said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door
> until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'"
> 4. One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her
> son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor
> in his voice, Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?" The mother smiled and
> gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in
> room." A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big
> sissy."
> 5. It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children's
> sermon. All the children were invited to come forward. One little girl was
> wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the pastor leaned
> and said, "That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter Dress?" The little
> girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on microphone,
> "Yes, and my Mom says it's a ***** to iron."
> 6. When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came
> into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower. She
> said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!" I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has
> baby growing in her tummy." "I know," she replied, but what's growing in your
> butt?"
> 7. A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus
> five, that son of a ***** is seven. Three plus six, that son of a ***** is
> nine...." His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you
> The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom." "And this is how
> your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked. "Yes," he answered.
> Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching
my son
> in math?" The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition." The
> mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a
> is four?" After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught
> them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."
> 8. One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to
> her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to
> warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer
> said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!" The teacher paused then asked
> the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?" One little girl raised
> her hand and said, "I think he said: 'Holy ****! A talking chicken!'" The
> teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.
> 9. A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm Mr.
> Sugarbrown's daughter." Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, "I'm
> Sugarbrown." The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, "Aren't you
> Sugarbrown's daughter?" She replied, "I thought I was, but mother says I'm
> not."
> 10. A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the
> boys?" Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too
> The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, "If I can find a
> smooth one, can I play with him?"
> 11. A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She stands next to
> the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair cut, eating a snack cake. The
> barber says to her, Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your Twinkie." She
> says, "Yes, I know, and I'm gonna get boobs too." Now keep that smile on your
> face and pass it on to someone else!!


2014 VW Tiguan SEL 4Motion 43,000 miles.

2016 Hyundai Santa Fe Sport (wife's).

2006 Jetta TDI 135,970 miles. Sold Nov. '13.
1995 E-320 Special Edition. 220,200 miles. Sold Sept. '07.
1987 190-E 16 valve. 153,000 miles. Sold Feb. '06.
1980 300-D 225,000 miles. Donated to the National Kidney Foundation.
1980 240-D manual, 297,500 miles. Totaled by inattentive driver.
Reply With Quote
Old 11-21-2003, 10:19 AM
G-Benz's Avatar
Razorback Soccer Dad
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Dallas/Fort-Worth
Posts: 5,711
LOL!!!:p :p :p

2009 ML350 (106K) - Family vehicle
2001 CLK430 Cabriolet (80K) - Wife's car
2005 BMW 645CI (138K) - My daily driver
2016 Mustang (32K) - Daughter's car
Reply With Quote


Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 01:53 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0
Copyright 2018 Pelican Parts, LLC - Posts may be archived for display on the Peach Parts or Pelican Parts Website -    DMCA Registered Agent Contact Page