A good friend of mine is going through a hard time right now. One of her friends was hurt badly in a car accident and was taken off life support yesterday.
In my life I have delt with it a lot and know it's something thats going to happen and while it bothers me I kind of let it go as I do with all problems.
I have been talking to her a lot lately and calling her all the time to make sure she is ok but I don't know what to say other than I'm sorry and I've told her that.
Tried to help with some of the things I've learned but you know I have never lost a friend my age.
Any advice guys. I know we have some deep people out there so I value your insights.

tkamiya
It's the same person as we talked about the other day. That's kind of why I keep calling her, emailing her and AIMing her. So far she seems to be fine. The bad part is her graduation in tm as is the girls funeral.

When my Mom died, I needed people to leave me alone. I went to the gym and just beat the living daylights out of the treadmill and weights.

Don't "override" someone's need. If they say they're fine on their own, they probably are. Just let them know that if they need something/someone, you'll be there, no questions asked.

Everyone is different. The important thing to do (and is most of the time in our lives) is to listen.

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John Shellenberg
1998 C230 "Black Betty" 240K

http://img31.exs.cx/img31/4050/tophat6.gif

One of my best friends just lost his father a few months ago. It hit him very hard due to the fact that 10 years ago his father suffered a serious stroke that left him incapacitaded therefore he moved his entire family in with his father in his fatherīs house to take care of him. His other brothers and sisters walked away from the situation 10 years ago. So in other words, he had sacrificed much of his personal ambitions to take care of his father.

When his father passed on all I could do for him was to accompany him throughout the funeral and burial and tall him that if there was anything that I could do to help to call me day or night. Also, gave a him a strong hug and let him know that I was serious in my offer.

I believe that this is the most that someone outside of the direct line of hurt can do. Just let them know that you are there for anything that they may need.

Iggy

__________________
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

2006 - Suzuki Gran Vitara (2.0 L fully equipped) Like this car so far except for trying to put on the seatbelt.
1988 - 190e - 2.3L - 172K miles (It now belongs to the exwife)
1999 - Chevy Blazer LS Fully Equiped - killed it June 2006
2001 - Honda Civic EX - 68K miles (sold June 2004)
1963 - 220S - Dual Carb 6 cyl. (sold)
1994 - Yamaha WaveRaider (fun to ride)

Highly personal loss and pain so your repsonse should be hgihly targeted to that person. Your friend may benefit from your frequent calls but you must be sensitive to her so as not to be an inadverteant, well-intentioned burden. Occasionally you might ask her directly if you're being too intrusive and watch her reaction carefully. You'll know the answer.

B