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  #1  
Old 05-26-2004, 06:31 AM
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somebody want to help me with my relationship problem?

Having some problems and would like to know what you older generations think i should do. assuming most of you are over 21 here.

My ex, who left me (for another guy) about 8 month ago is actually a very nice person. a bad GF (she is flaky) but she has a lot in common with me and she really wants to be friends.

so i didn't talk to her for 8 month but i sometimes visit her online journals and she seems to be very protective of me and wanted to talk to me. i read her journal this sunday and she did mention my BDay (today) and how she really wanted to talk to me.

So i gave her and E-mail. saying i forgave her for all the stuff she did to me and caught up on some things.

Now here is where it gets complicated. she has a BF, and i have a GF. i don't like her BF (obviously), and she and my current don't like each other. i can see a lot of drama about to go down here but i made a policy of doing what i want and suffer later so its too late to turn back now.

should I?
1. tell the current GF?
2. Keep it a Secret?

If i do no.1 she might leave me, and that sucks. but if i do no.2 it would seem wrong. and a relationship doesn't go anywhere if u can't trust each other.

I have seem to dug myself a very deep grave here. but the hole has been dugged. any of the wise mechanics in here can give me a opinion?
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  #2  
Old 05-26-2004, 06:47 AM
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Drop it. She made her choice, wasn't you, and you need to move on. I know it hurts. Stop reading her online blogs. Why would anyone write personal stuff on the web for all to see?

MOVE ON!

(She dropped you once, if you take her back, she would do it again)
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  #3  
Old 05-26-2004, 08:05 AM
MedMech
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Drop it, women have this habit of liking an old boyfriend all over again when they find out he is hooked up and happy.

I have 2 rules.

If they cheat or dump you they will do it again.

When the man gets a new girlfriend the old one always realizes her mistakes and tries to keep you away from the other girl. This is also referred to as keepin da man down.

If you're still unsure remember how crappy you felt when she dumped you so she could blow another guy!
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  #4  
Old 05-26-2004, 08:17 AM
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Sounds like bad Juju. You need to kick her to the curb.

Duncan
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  #5  
Old 05-26-2004, 08:30 AM
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She's using you as her safety net and she's doing it only because you're letting her do it. You really need to move on. Get some closure, don't read her blogs, and most of all, gain some self esteem. You did nothing wrong in the relationship. Stop trying to fix things already.
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  #6  
Old 05-26-2004, 11:31 AM
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I tried keeping a "friendship" with a gal (many years ago) after meeting and marrying my current GF (wife). It was ok at first. Even my current went along with it, it seemed. The other gal met someone else, got married, ect. We all got together a couple times for dinner. On the outside it seemed great. But I finally decided it wasn't healthy for my marriage, as I saw(and my wife saw) I still had some feelings for the ex-GF. I cut off all contact with her, and haven't looked back since.
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  #7  
Old 05-26-2004, 11:43 AM
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This really couldn't be any simpler -- if you think this is a problem, you may have some rough times in front of you brother. Two words -- move on. Just cut the ***** loose.
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  #8  
Old 05-26-2004, 12:29 PM
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Quote:
Sounds like bad Juju. You need to kick her to the curb.
Ditto
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  #9  
Old 05-26-2004, 12:46 PM
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ned2683

It seems that the general population is telling you to tell her to take a hike. Very reasonable advice. Now my question is just how old are you and how long was this girl your GF?

I had a girlfriend back in the day when I was like 17 or 18 that we dated for about almost two years. I went on a trip for 2 months and when I came back I found out she was cheating on me. Obviously, the relationship was over. My feelings were that if she wanted to be with someone else, so be it. Got over it. In the end, we were young and really did not want serious relationships and so forth. Young people do stupid things.....

We did not talk to each other for at least 6 months but we had many friends and social life in commen. After the 6 months we began to talk again and the truth be it that we were better friends than GF-BF.

In the end, we became very good friends. Later when in our mid 20īs I talked her through some tough times and vice versa. To this day we exhange emails about once a month. And when I am in her town, we get together for dinner/drinks. My wife, when we first were dating never understood why we still spoke and so forth. But after my wife met her, she understood and they got along very well. (Probably verbally bashing me -though)

Anyway, the decision is yours. The question is whether there is still any romantic feelings between you two. If so, I would say walk away. Now, if you TRUELY VALUE HER FRIENDSHIP, as a true friend that is another story.

My 2 cents worth to further complicate the matter.

Ignacio
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  #10  
Old 05-26-2004, 01:01 PM
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"Ditch the *****, let's go racin'." That was a sticker on one of my neighbor's trucks and I sure think it applies here.

Keep, the current GF if that's working, dude. And don't do to her what has been done to you either. Don't go back, cut the albatross.

Ignacio has a good point but don't plan for that. Either it'll happen or not; it has to be good mutually, no love/lust, blah, blah, blah...

Good luck, let us know how things turn out.
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Last edited by mzsmbs; 05-26-2004 at 01:38 PM.
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  #11  
Old 05-26-2004, 01:26 PM
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Run run run!!! And dont look for her "friendship" for AT LEAST 6 months, IF at all.
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  #12  
Old 05-26-2004, 01:40 PM
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Oh, BTW, Happy Birthday man!
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  #13  
Old 05-26-2004, 03:04 PM
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Thanks for the support guys. Nice to hear from a lot of you. I did tell her i won't talk to her ever again when we first broke up and stuff.

now if u want to complicate things here is how it goes. I was a very good friend with her. and this current girl i am dating i am not so much into. like i know it won't last long, and i don't have so much in common with her at all. sort of a hook-up type deal. well i am still young we do enjoy a lot of the times we have together tho. and i do care about her.

But with my Ex we share a lot in common. she really is into cars (i converted her!) and really listens to me talk about them for hours, we like anime, video games. I can list the things we have in common and talk about. where as my current thinks everything i do is kinda stupid (my music, my grades, my hobbies). and she thinks my beloved 300SD is probably not worth more than $500!!!.

so to be honest. i initiated the talk, its because i missed the things we use to talk about. now like i said she is a good friend but a bad GF. and it would be kinda rude to stop talking when i initiated it you know? like i said "I" dug myself a hole

Now what i was realistically thinking of doing. is telling my current, and assure her that I don't like her anymore. don't really know how to do that since a girls temper is as hot as hell fire.
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  #14  
Old 05-26-2004, 03:16 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by euronatura
ned2683

It seems that the general population is telling you to tell her to take a hike. Very reasonable advice. Now my question is just how old are you and how long was this girl your GF?

We did not talk to each other for at least 6 months but we had many friends and social life in commen. After the 6 months we began to talk again and the truth be it that we were better friends than GF-BF.

Anyway, the decision is yours. The question is whether there is still any romantic feelings between you two. If so, I would say walk away. Now, if you TRUELY VALUE HER FRIENDSHIP, as a true friend that is another story.

Ignacio
Thanks for your reply. i believe we have a very similar situation going here.

I am 21 and me and my current GF has been going out for 2-3 month

I do not have any romantic feeling towards her anymore. and i am sure of this other wise i woundn't have been able to talk to her.

however the sad part is (if u didn't read the above entry) she was a better GF than my current. these crazy college girls, they just keep leaving me

I am sure i want to be her friend. the situation is how to i keep my current, and befriend my Ex?

ah now that i can drink alchohol should solve all of this
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  #15  
Old 05-26-2004, 05:02 PM
MedMech
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Quote:
Originally posted by ned2683
Thanks for the support guys. Nice to hear from a lot of you. I did tell her i won't talk to her ever again when we first broke up and stuff.

now if u want to complicate things here is how it goes. I was a very good friend with her. and this current girl i am dating i am not so much into. like i know it won't last long, and i don't have so much in common with her at all. sort of a hook-up type deal. well i am still young we do enjoy a lot of the times we have together tho. and i do care about her.

But with my Ex we share a lot in common. she really is into cars (i converted her!) and really listens to me talk about them for hours, we like anime, video games. I can list the things we have in common and talk about. where as my current thinks everything i do is kinda stupid (my music, my grades, my hobbies). and she thinks my beloved 300SD is probably not worth more than $500!!!.

so to be honest. i initiated the talk, its because i missed the things we use to talk about. now like i said she is a good friend but a bad GF. and it would be kinda rude to stop talking when i initiated it you know? like i said "I" dug myself a hole

Now what i was realistically thinking of doing. is telling my current, and assure her that I don't like her anymore. don't really know how to do that since a girls temper is as hot as hell fire.
It's much easier to teach a dog to fetch than to bark.

Replace your name with dog and re-read it. Don't you get it this girl wants to piss off your current girlfreind more than anything, breaking your heart again is just a bonus.
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