Hi there,
This forum like any other forum is full of helping hands. You posted your problem and this reach to a large number of knowledgeable people who either knows about car or have some sort of a similar problem/experience.
BUT the problem is there is very little conclusion.:-)

Monovalve.

Not true.

Unless you've read every single thread and all of the posts in each, that is a very generalistic statement.

I've been here long enough and read enough threads where the thread starter ultimately was successful solving their original problem...including myself. Sometimes it required the poster to actually open the hood or turn a wrench, causing said poster to learn a bit more about their vehicle as a result. In turn, the same poster now has hands-on info that he/she can now pass on to the next newbie in the forum that queries about the same problem.

But after all this is a forum, not a website of magic. Some problems don't translate well in text, and others really do require visual and audio cues to correctly diagnose the problem. That's what the local techs are for. This place is simply a repository for like MB owners to share problems and solutions to common (and not-so-common) maladies with their vehicles.

My very first post dealt with a problem that I STILL haven't resolved to this day! Otherwise, through this forum, I have mastered a great deal of other repairs, and have been able to save a whole lot of $$$ as a result!

Ok, I know your statement was tongue-in-cheek, but surprisingly enough, there have been a few posts where disgruntled first-timers vented about not getting a problem immediately solved or no one responded. To those folks, I can only say, this is a FREE site! You get what you pay for!

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2009 ML350 (106K) - Family vehicle
2001 CLK430 Cabriolet (80K) - Wife's car
2005 BMW 645CI (138K) - My daily driver
2016 Mustang (32K) - Daughter's car