For those of you who are not "fortunate" enough to live in California,
> here is a copy of the California Driver's Exam, and for those of you
> who do, study real hard. This is a new exam. Since driving
> conditions (and culture) are unique in Los Angeles, you may not have
> realized that the California Department of Motor Vehicles has now
> issued a special application and driver's test solely for the
> Los Angeles Metropolitan Area.
>
> Here it is below:
>
> GREATER LOS ANGELES AREA DRIVER'S LICENSE APPLICATION:
>
> Name:______________ Stage name: ________________ Agent:______________
> Attorney:__________________ Sex: ___male
> ___female ___formerly male ___formerly female ___both If female,
> indicate breast implant size: ____ Will the size of your implants
> hinder your ability to safely operate a motor vehicle in any way?
> Yes___ No ___ Please list brand of cell phone: ________.
> If you don't own a cell phone, please explain:________________________
> Please check hair color:
> Females: [ ] Blonde [ ] Platinum Blonde Teenagers: [ ] Purple [ ] Blue
> [ ] Skinhead Please check activities you perform while driving: (Check
> all that apply)
> [ ] Eating [ ] Applying make-up [ ] Talking on the phone [ ] Slapping
> kids in the back-seat [ ] Applying cellulite treatment to thighs [ ]
> Tanning [x] Snorting cocaine (already checked for ease of application)
> [ ] Watching TV [ ] Reading Variety [ ] Surfing the net via laptop
> Please indicate how many times:
> a) you expect to shoot at other drivers ____ b) how many times you
> expect to be shot at while driving ____ If you are the victim of a car
> jacking, you should immediately:
> a) Call the police to report the crime b) Call Channel 4 News to
> report the crime, then watch your car on the news in a high-speed
> chase c) Call your attorney and discuss lawsuit against cellular phone
> company for 911 call not going through d) Call your therapist (e) None
> of the above (South Central residents only)
>
> In the event of an earthquake, should you:
> a) stop your car b) keep driving and hope for the best c) immediately
> use your cell phone to call all loved ones d) pull out your video
> camera and obtain footage for Channel 4 In the instance of rain, you
> should: a) decelerate by 5 mph b) drive twice as fast as usual c)
> you're not sure what "rain" is Please indicate number of therapy
> sessions per week: ____.
> Are you presently taking any of the following medications?
> a) Prozac b) Zovirax c) Lithium d) Zanax e) Valium f) Zoloft
If none, please explain: __________________.
>
> Length of daily commute:
> a) 1 hour b) 2 hours c) 3 hours d) 4 hours or more When stopped by
> police, should you:
> a) pull over and have your driver's license and insurance form ready
> b)try to outrun them by driving the wrong way on the 405 Freeway c)
> have your video camera ready and provoke them to attack, thus ensuring
> yourself of a hefty lawsuit.

__________________
You can get farther with a smile and a gun than you can with just a smile.

1984 300D
1985 300CD
1980 300SD
1993 SL500

LOL. Answer: All of the Above.

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'91 300D 2.5 Turbo 330K
'00 VW TDI Golf, 190K
'67 BMW R50/2
'73 Norton Commando Interstate