warning signs of relationship failure, and how to save your relationship - advice - PeachParts Mercedes-Benz Forum

Will_w202 · #1 02-04-2005, 10:21 AM

I was very recently blindsided by the girl who had been living with me for 9 months, came home and everything was gone, with a note. I have found out a lot of information since this and I am beginning to understand. But I am blown away by how I didn't see things chaging, maybe because we spent so much time together that I missed small changes over time. It's a long story that I would rather not go into on a public board really, but I have always had clear intuition when it comes to seeing problems in relationships. I want to make sure if this happens again, living with someone who is having a separate life behind my back while keeping up appearances, I don't miss subtle clues. I would like to know if anyone has read and could recommend any good books on the subject, and also, if it comes down to finding out, any good books on saving your realtionship and improving communication.

TX76513 · #2 02-04-2005, 10:27 AM

Go with comedy - don't get into deep reading right now - it will just make you miserable.

Kestas · #3 02-05-2005, 10:10 PM

Good advice! Try to move on.... and welcome to the club.

It takes two to make a relationship... but only one to ruin it.

TwitchKitty · #4 02-05-2005, 11:55 PM

It floors me when people ignore this sign: if someone starts a relationship with you while they are involved in a relationship with someone else...

I think the main thing with maintaining a relationship is to recognize that the relationship takes on a life of its own. It is not about you and it is not about her. Find a partner that you can share with, it is not about looks, money, power, possessions, etc.

GermanStar · #5 02-06-2005, 12:07 AM

The term "blinded by love" comes to mind. It's happened to most of us at one time or another, I'm sure. For me, there's a very simple barometer of the general health of a relationship. It comes down to two questions: 1). Does the relationship feel completely natural/healthy when we're together? 2). Does the relationship feel completely natural/healthy when we're apart? Of course, each answer should be a resounding "yes".