>I was walking down the street this week when I was accosted by a
>particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked me for a
>couple of dollars for dinner.
>I took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I
>give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of
>dinner?"
>"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.
>"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" I asked.
>"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I need to
spend
>all my time trying to stay alive."
>"Will you spend this on greens fees at a golf course instead of
>food?" I asked.
>"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20
>years!"
>"Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district
>instead of food?" I asked again.
>"What disease would I get for ten lousy bucks?" exclaimed the
>homeless man.
>"Well," I said , "I'm not going to give you the money.
>Instead, I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my
>girlfriend."
>The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your girlfriend be furious with
you
>for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty
disgusting."
>I replied, "That's okay. It's important for her to see what a man looks

>like after he has given up beer, fishing, golf, and sex."

Thats a good one.

__________________

I'm just like that homeless dude when I havent flown for more than a day or two.

__________________
1980 300D - Veggie Burner !

I liked this one.............


Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.

He looked up and said weakly, "I have something I must confess."

"There's no need to," his wife replied.

"No," he insisted, "I want to die in peace. I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!"

"I know, I know," she replied. "Now just rest and let the poison work."