Comic Relief
 

I don't intend to start a Democrats vs. Republicans boxing match with this, because I have a pretty strong dislike for BOTH parties.....

I just thought this was damned funny. :D

Mike

_________________


A West Texas cowboy was tending
his herd in a remote pasture
when suddenly a brand new BMW advanced out of a
dust cloud towards him. The
driver, a young man in an Armani suit, Gucci
shoes, Oakley sunglasses and YSL tie leans out
the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how
many cows and calves you have in your herd,
will you give me a calf?"

The cowboy looks at the man,
obviously a yuppie, then looks at
his peacefully grazing herd and
calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips
out his 17"-screen Dell notebook
computer, connects it
to his high-end Nokia/AT&T cell phone, and surfs
to a NASA page on the
Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite
navigation system to get an exact fix on his
location, which he then feeds to
another NASA satellite that scans the area
in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens
the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image
processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within
seconds, he receives an e-mail on
his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed
and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC
connected Excel spreadsheet with e-mail on
his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a
response.

Finally, he
prints out a full color, 150 page
report on his hi-tech,
miniaturized HP Laser-Jet printer, and finally
turns to the cowboy, smiles, and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right! Well, I guess you
can take one of my calves,"
says the cowboy.

He watches the young man
select one of the animals, and looks on with
amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then the cowboy
says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what business you are in, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for
a second and then says,
"Okay, why not?"

Without hesitation, the cowboy says, "You're a paid consultant for the National Democratic Party."

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how in hell did you
guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up
here unannounced, even though nobody called you, you want to get paid for providing me with an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked.

You brought all of this unneeded equipment, and went well out of your way, using pointlessly expensive transportation, just to show me how much smarter than me you are... and you wasted god-only-knows how much money doing so... and you obviously don't know a goddamn thing about cows........

...Now give me back my dog."


:D :D :D :D :D :silly: :silly: :silly: :silly:

A Texan visits New York for the first time, and continually aggravates his New York host by telling him, each time he was shown a landmark, how in Texas, they had the same thing, but bigger and better.

Finally the New Yorker showed the Texan the Empire State Building, and the Texan scoffed, Hell in Texas we have outhouses bigger than that.

And the New Yorker said,

"Yes, and you need them...."

That was good.

If it really isn't R v. D that you're after, why didn't use one of the multitude of variations of this very old joke which doesn't reference either?

I must have missed the previous, non-partisan versions.... :rolleyes:

Lighten up, man. It's just a joke.....

Mike

The President, First Lady and Dick Cheney were

flying on Air Force One. George looked at Laura,

chuckled and said, "You know, I could throw a

$1,000 bill out of the window right now and make

somebody very happy."

Laura shrugged her shoulders and replied, "I could

throw ten $100 bills out of the window and make ten

people very happy."

Cheney added, "That being the case, I could throw

one hundred $10 bills out of the window and make

a hundred people very happy."

Hearing their exchange, the pilot rolled his eyes and

said to his co-pilot, "Such big-shots back there. Hell,

I could throw all of them out of the window and make

56 million people very happy.