What do you say at funerals ?
 

As we get older,,, and we all may,,,, you presence will be required at the demise of present or former acquaintences. I myself am very sentimental and will tear up at the least sorrowful thing and have a very hard time expressing my sentiments to the survivors. Things are a bit easier for a casual acquaintence, but the closer ones are very tough. Lately I have tried telling a story of a happier time that the deceased and I have shared that the family is not aware of. This always elicits a smile and a sincere "Thank You", that makes the encounter easier for all involved. What do you do ?

At funerals one chiefly encounters relatives one seldom or never wishes to meet elswhere and someone invariably makes the unwelcome observation"we should get together more often"...........

"who's that with the nice tits?"

Irreverent S.O.B. I have no problem imagining that is what you would want people to say at your funeral!

At my funeral people will say, "If only Bill Gate had given him that second billion he would have brought peace on Earth, cured cancer, and revealed who was on the grassy knoll."

To answer the original question, "I am sorry for your loss." That acknowledges the pain of others and is not judgmental.

B

At my funeral, there will be booze, hookers, drugs and gambling.

They will say "He may be dead but he sure knows how to party."

Depends on whether you like the person or whether you are there to make sure they are really dead.

If it is the latter and a woman "Ding Dong, the Witch is Dead."
If it is the latter and a man "Here's to you XXX" and pee in the casket

I hate funeral's, along with weddings, and any other such cerimony you can think of.

funerals blow, theres no other way to put it. I've been to two in the past year and that was more than enough for me, one was my dad's best friend and the other was mine. I did the same thing as you though, i told his dad about a funny story that I knew he didn't know about. It revealed a very sincere but very sorrowfull smile, not sure whether it was good or not. Our other friends did the same thing that yeilded the same response. It is natural human instinct to try to cheer people up, i've tried to do it to other people and other people have tried to do it to me, but funerals are a sad time. Sometimes its just best to let the deceased loved one's greive.
Ryan

No parent wants to be at his kids funeral. I think any kind of light-heartedness would be out of place, unless it comes from the parents themselves. Its probably more OK if the person was old and their time was up anyway. Then its just an acceptance of the natural order of things.

I'm not sure how to take that B; in any case I mourn the death of a young soul and say good job to anyone that stood the test of time.

"cousin"

Should've put a smiley in there. Never could figure those things out.

I mean something like this: Some people like a very solemn, reverent funeral and other people like a rowdy one. I've been to both and honestly, I think my preference depends on what I know of the deceased.

One of my best friends is a retired Gunny Sgt and Vietnam veteran. He told me that when his favorite uncle, a NOLA channel-Irishman who moved-out in the 1930's, died one cold winter that they had a wake at his home inside of the levee in Point Coupee Parish, LA. They had his uncle all waxed-up nice and pretty in the small shotgun, heated by the crowd, lots of local whiskey and a fire roaring in the fireplace. It got so hot from the fire and "toasting", that his uncle's wax started melting so they carried the casket out on the porch to chill and solidify the wax. They drank to his life and death until he cooled down and then brought him back inside. That went on until almost daylight. Then they carried him into St Francisville and buried him behind the old Episcopal Church.

I'd have liked to have been there.

I also remember my Dad's funeral, which was nearly polar-opposite to that. It was a very formal military affair with his senior ROTC students as his pallbearers. I still remember those cadets, teary-eyed if you looked close, yet stoic as a detail.

It depends on the deceased and his or her style.

Me too. I usually try to let the parent/spouse/sibling/child of the dead person that they will be missed and meant something to me. A story about them, even one they know, is a good way to do that if you can think of one. If you can't think of anything along those lines you're in Carleton's shoes. ;)

A young persons funeral is something totally different,,,, I should have said that. No jokes or lightheartedness for me there. Those are terrible times.

You and me both.........;)