NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN

D A M N I T O L
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.


E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N
Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.


ST. M O M M A'S W O R T
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.


P E P T O B I M B O
Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.


D U M B E R O L
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of countrymusic and pickup trucks.


F L I P I T O R
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.


M E N I C I L L I N
Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, "You make me want to be a better person. Can we get naked now?"


BUYAGRA
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree.


J A C K A S S P I R I N
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat.


A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.


N A G A M E N T
When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him.

Bot, do you make these things up? That was great! What a wit you are. One day, I aspire to be a wit like you. So far, I'm only half-way there.
Dee

__________________
" We have nothing to fear but the main stream media itself . . . ."- Adapted from Franklin D Roosevelt for the 21st century

OBK #55

1998 Lincoln Continental - Sold
Max 1984 300TD 285,000 miles - Sold
The Dee8gonator 1987 560SEC 196,000 miles - Sold
Orgasmatron - 2006 CLS500 90,000 miles
2002 C320 Wagon 122,000 miles
2016 AMG GTS 12,000 miles

HAHAHAHAHA!

__________________
1989 300E 144K

And for the MEN-

Mycocksadraggin-

Eliminates those times when the flags aint flyin. Without all the nasty side affects of viagra.

Numbnuzinol-

Prevents the numbing sensation when you get your Visa bill in the mail.

Scrotol-

Helps ease tension in the sack

__________________
"It's normal for these things to empty your wallet and break your heart in the process."
2012 SLK 350
1987 420 SEL

Nah, I was riflin' through Mrs B's dresser looking for some Oxycontin.

A room-mate fr. a few years back (I don't want to count right now!) had a media class in college where they had to come up w/a name for a product and a sales-pitch...

His was:

T W A T K I N S

"We may not be number one, but we're right up there!

.

__________________

M. G. Burg
'10 - Dakota SXT - Daily Ride / ≈ 172.5K
.'76 - 450SLC - 107.024.12 / < .89.20 K
..'77 - 280E - 123.033.12 / > 128.20 K
...'67 - El Camino - 283ci / > 207.00 K
....'75 - Yamaha - 650XS / < 21.00 K
.....'87 - G20 Sportvan / > 206.00 K
......'85 - 4WINNS 160 I.O. / 140hp
.......'74 - Honda CT70 / Real 125
.
“I didn’t really say everything I said.”
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ~ Yogi Berra ~