Oh man. I guess it was bound to happen sooner or later. I've been trying to sell a U-line ice maker on Craigslist for a couple of weeks. One of my clients had it left at his house inexplicably. The contractor banged the back end of it up a tad in a rough unloading, ordered and installed a new one, and never came to reclaim the original one, all of this before I began working for him.

My client claims he tried in vain to get the guy to come pick it up. He is eminently trustworthy and is making way too much money to be interested in scamming anyone for a $1600 ice maker. He and his wife are masters weight lifting champs with many deep pocketed clients (personal trainers) in Silicon Valley, some of them famous Hollywood folks. They conduct their business primarily out of their secluded home and don't have any interest in adding extra traffic to their scene by trying to sell this thing. He says I sell it, I get half.

I took it to my shop, was able to straighten out the tiny bit of cosmetic damage on the rear corner, hooked it up to water, power, and a makeshift drain, and it makes ice like a champ. I've installed this model 7 times in houses in the area, IIRC.

I've gotten several nibbles (asking $1,000 -- it still has the protective film coating it, I've got the owner's manual, the thing is literally brand new) recently an offer for $700 came in, sounds solid.

Then one guy who'd answered previously e-mailed back saying he wants it, full price, will send certified check and have his shipper pick it up once the check clears. I mail back "OK."

Today I get this:

Hi , How was your day ?I want you to understand thatthe deal as my secretary as posted the paymentalready, but there was a slight error i guess we canhandle with care, instead of the actually amount $1000for the item ,she made out the check for $4000 sheclaim that was what i requested but she didn't getthat straight.So once you have the check please cash it and deductthe money for your goods plus $100 that for your runaround expenses.The excess fund should please be sent to my mover viawestern union,this fund will be use in offsetting thecost of the shipment he as undertaken for me recently.**Please email at once to let me know that i can trustto have the excess funds sent to my mover**

My first move was to begin an e-mail with various creative profanities finished with instructions for him to first fly out here so that he can kiss my a$$.

I decided not to mail it and instead played the rube, writing:

I suppose that will work. How soon will you be sending the check?

He had said that his secretary posted it already, I wanted to lay on a little "I'm an idiot" flavor.

I'm utterly unworried by this character -- my address is at a UPS store, a private mail box. I know I won't be able to scam this guy for anything, at least I don't think I will be able to, I'm just hoping there's some way I can put the law on the arse of this waste of my time.

I think I'll e-mail the guy who offered $700 and say I'll let it go for eight.

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