Any grief counselors here ? - PeachParts Mercedes-Benz Forum

Pete Geither · #1 07-13-2007, 04:05 PM

Don't know if it is actually a grief counselor I need, but in times of sadness or great joy, I get so choked up I can't really speak, and a lot of times the tears will flow. Does anyone know how to overcome this and keep your emotions in check so you can at least communicate. Or do I just need to go get some kind of therapy ?

John Doe · #2 07-13-2007, 04:15 PM

Maybe anxiety. I cant be of much help here, but there was a forum member's wife that used to post here that I believe was in this field. She referred to herself as "Mrs. [so and so}." She wrote some fairly long and thoughtful responses to similar requests in the past. Maybe worth a search. Sorry you are having this issue.

Dee8go · #3 07-13-2007, 04:15 PM

What's wrong with that, Pete? NOT being able to do that is a problem.

Yes, I used to do a lot of greif counseling when I was a hospital chaplain. Most people (men, primarily) could not express any emotions very well. I wouldn't worry about it if I were you.

Dee8go · #4 07-13-2007, 04:17 PM

Well, of course what JD said may be true, too. Anxiety and depression can cause your emotions to be a lot closer to the surface. If it's depression and not related to a specific loss you've recently experienced, then you should see a therapist probably.

Pete Geither · #5 07-13-2007, 04:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dee8go

Well, of course what JD said may be true, too. Anxiety and depression can cause your emotions to be a lot closer to the surface. If it's depression and not related to a specific loss you've recently experienced, then you should see a therapist probably.

Don't think either of those problems exist, as I consider myself pretty well adjusted and definately have no depression,,, life is good. I have had this "problem" my whole life, and it seems to be pretty prevalent throughout the family. I just wish I could convey my condolances to a friend at a funeral home without breaking up. If friend suffers a loss it affects me in that way.

Dee8go · #6 07-13-2007, 04:36 PM

You sound like you have a very well-adjusted family, Pete. I wouldn't worry about it at all.

John Doe · #7 07-13-2007, 04:42 PM

I'd bet my most serious bet ($1) that if you would have taken .25 mg of xanax before the funeral, you would have been able to express your thoughts without any impediment of being overcome with emotion. Google social anxiety. xanax isn't something people take on a regular basis--only in times where they are overcome.

(but I am not a doctor, counselor, psych, ect....)

suginami · #8 07-13-2007, 05:07 PM

I don't think there is anything wrong with you at all.

Shedding tears in times of great sadness or joy sounds like a perfectly normal and healthy reaction to me.

We are human beings, not machines that can turn their emotions on or off.

t walgamuth · #9 07-13-2007, 07:14 PM

I am a crying machine myself.

Sad movies and even a sad story will cause me to tear right up. It is worse as I have aged (or better, maybe).

Drugs might lessen it but I am not embarressed by it.

With five children I don't feel much need to prove my manhood.

Tom W

Pete Geither · #10 07-13-2007, 07:39 PM

Sincerely appreciate all the comments. I just can't help remembering all the great historical instances,,,, Ted Kennedys' speach at Bobbys' funeral, Dale Earnhardts Jr.' comments after his dad got killed. I can't imagine how they were able to do that. Maybe JDs' comments ring true in instances like that. Thank you all.

Dee8go · #11 07-13-2007, 08:50 PM

I wanted to eulogize my dad at his funeral, but I knew I'd never get the first word out. It seems to come more easily (expressing emotions) as I get older. It's like Tom said. I guess once you've seen as much of life as one sees by fifty or so, you have a lot more feeling about things in general, and you're really not too worried about proving anything to anybody. I guess that's one of the nicer things about getting older. We can be more "real."

t walgamuth · #12 07-13-2007, 08:59 PM

I spoke at my dad's funeral. Dad used to have to deliver death benefits to folks who had lost loved ones. He said as soon as he had his head inside the homes he could tell the ones who had strong faith. The grief was much less. Less anguish.

So that was the first thing I said. Dad was 84. He was married to the same and only woman for over 60 years. eight children and something like 30 grand kids. He had incurable cancer and died of kidney failure which was pretty painless. He avoided the months of pain from the cancer.

So a blessing really.

So I told a collection of funny stories about things Dad did mostly as a kid. He was pretty mischievous. Folks seemed to enjoy the memories along with all of us. The collecting and agreeing on the facts of the stories was great therapy for all of us too.

We had some disagreement about whether to mention specifically the fact that he had stomped a skunk to death which he found in one of his traps as a kid when he didn't want to spend a rifle cartridge on it.

Then there was the time he shot and killed one of the work horses on the farm...accidently of course....

Tom W

Whiskeydan · #13 07-13-2007, 09:49 PM

I would say that those that don't tear up during these times are in need of some therapy.
Consider it a "growth experience" which we all experience and learn from all throughout our lives.

TheDon · #14 07-13-2007, 10:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Whiskeydan

I would say that those that don't tear up during these times are in need of some therapy.

I cried at my best friends funeral... died of cancer.. It didnt hit me until his casket was in the ground... I didn't think it was real.. Same with my great grandpa.Like.. he was just lying there.. he was around for a while.. and that hum he used to do.. it was gone... gone... oh man.. memories coming back..

raymr · #15 07-13-2007, 10:40 PM

I think it runs in families. Thats not to say you should be victimized by it. My mom cries at everything, and I have often felt that steel band around my chest at emotional times that almost prevents me from breathing. I agree, it's quite disabling. Amazingly I was able to step forward at my dad's funeral and give, what I have been told, an inspiring eulogy.

It's mind over matter. His death made me the oldest male in the family, with new (real or imagined) responsibilities to be the steady and stable patriarch figure. That alone made me feel as though I should be the one giving comfort, rather than the one needing to be comforted. Still, theres nothing wrong with a good cry now and then.