Idiot Sighting

[al76slc]

IDIOT SIGHTING:

We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, "Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower." I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, "No, its not." "Four is larger than two".

IDIOT SIGHTING:

I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local Township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'
>From Kingman , KS

IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry,but they only had iceburg lettuce. He was a Chef? Yep...
>From Kansas City !

IDIOT SIGHTING:

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'
Happened in Birmingham , Ala.

IDIOT SIGHTING:

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!' She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS

IDIOT SIGHTING:

At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker; she was leaving the company due to 'downsizing.' Our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often. Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare. This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.

IDIOT SIGHTING:

I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on. A Deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less.

IDIOT SIGHTING:

When my husband and I arrived at an
automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!' His reply, 'I know. I already got that side.' This was at the Ford Dealership in Canton , Mississippi!

STAY ALERT! They walk among us... And they REPRODUCE!!

[Larry Delor]

I asked for a half dozen chicken nuggets. The guy said: Sorry, all we have are 6, 9, and 20 piece nuggets.

[t walgamuth]

My wife is a kindof math specialist at her school....

a helpful friend gave her a shirt that says..."five out of four people have trouble with fractions".

another one she has is a picture of a kid pushing like crazy on a door with the sign that says pull and just above the door it says..."acme school for the intellectually gifted".

Love em.

Tom W

[Larry Delor]

Far Side cartoon - One of my favorites!

[catmandoo62]

i had that cartoon right next to the front door of my dads old shop.you had to pull on the door to get out,but i swear everybody would try to push the door thru the wall.found that cartoon in the paper and put it next to the door.still didn't do any good they still tried to push!

[peragro]

wow, how original.

[al76slc]

Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: "I wan'all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan' all the kids to copulate me."

New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season: "I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."

And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skins say: "I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl," Matt Millen of the Raiders said: "To win, I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."

Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins: "He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings."

Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann, 1996: "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."

Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh: "I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes." (now that is beautiful)

Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys line up alphabetically by height." And, "You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle."

Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again with promoter Don King: "Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton "

Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker: "That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."

Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is."

Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: "My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt."

Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I told him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, "Coach, I don't know and I don't care."

Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four F's and one D: "Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject."

Amarillo High School and Oiler coach Bum Phillips when asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips, Phillips responded: "Because she is too ugly to kiss good-bye."

[Dee8go]

Those are great! Thanks for getting me off to a good start this morning.

[WVOtoGO]

This guy has to rank pretty close to “Idiot“.

LARGO, Fla. - A 38-year-old man was arrested after he called 911 and told a dispatcher he was surrounded by police officers and needed help, authorities said.

Police officers met Dana Farrell Shelton after being called to investigate a disturbance at a bar on Sunday but had found no problems and told him to move along.

Shelton, who officers said appeared intoxicated, then called 911 to report he was "surrounded by Largo police," according to an arrest affidavit.

"Our officers were standing there scratching their heads. He called, standing there in their presence," Largo Sgt. Melanie Holley said. "It's one of our 'truth is stranger than fiction' cases."

Shelton was charged with misdemeanor misuse of 911. The charge carries maximum penalties of one year in jail and $1,000 in fines.

[Dee8go]

Originally Posted by ForcedInduction

There are so many pictures of Bush with this idiotic-looking smirk on his face. He really does look like a goofball, doesn't he?

Your story was great, WVO. Thanks.

[truckinik]

Here's a nice sign.
http://i178.photobucket.com/albums/w251/truckinik/sWNleDCNpWHHxr0eGqotScpELk9QkbVy00A.jpg

IDIOT SIGHTING:

In my local paper was a story about a man who died while attempting to pull down a tree with his pick-up truck. He did not leave enough slack in the rope, or place himself far enough from the tree, and out of it's range. The tree came down on his truck, and he was squashed, in the truck, and killed instantly.. Darwin strikes again..