If Brian Carlton were to put something on Craigs list
 

Is this you Brian....come clean.:D

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/snj/494903542.html

To the Crazy-bat-****-lady who picked up the free fridge

Date: 2007-11-30, 10:06PM EST


Dear Crazy-As-Bat-****-Lady:

I am honored that you chose my ad for a mini fridge out of all the ads you could have chosen. It makes me feel good that my mini fridge will be supplying you with the ice cold beverages you've obviously become accustomed to.

Next time you answer one of my ads, please note the following:

1. I am not Home Depot. If you travel thirty minutes to pick up a bulky 40-pound object, please come prepared with the necessary items you'll need to secure it to your vehicle. Yes, I have rope. I have a lot of rope. I have many different colors and sizes of rope. No, you can not have my rope. The ad said I was giving away a fridge, not a fridge with rope. Nor was I offering a fridge with padding so that the pleather seats on your piece of crap 89 ford pinto with no hub caps car don't get marked up.

2. What part of ' must pick up' in the ad was confusing to you? Yes, I have a vehicle. No, I don't want to haul your fridge all the way to East Bumble**** on the coldest day of the year. No, I'm really really sure I don't want to do that. No, really. I'm sure.

3. Please call me only once with ALL your questions. I left for the day, and had 5 messages on my answering machine, the last one was at 11:30 pm. Frankly lady, you were sounding a bit too crazy by the end of the day. It's a fridge. A small metal box that keeps **** cold. I don't have the fridge's family tree. For all I know the fridge's was conceived by a slutty young Maytag that graced some hillbilly's side porch. I don't know the exact age of the fridge. I bought it a few years ago, I used it for a couple of months, ok, I lied, I used it a whole year. The fact is, you're not buying a race horse, you're buying a used fridge.

4. No, I will not throw in a couple bucks of gas money to pick it up because your anal retentive eyes picked up the ittiest, bittiest hairline scratch with a microscope so it wasnt completly described. I'm not making judgements on you, but I'm pretty damn sure Donald Trump didn't send you across the state to pick up a used fridge for Trump Towers. Though I'd wager the whole concept of the mini-fridge bar is a familar one to you.

5. Yes, you can unplug a fridge without any harm to the fridge. Believe me, the fridge is fine. The manufacturers have figured out a way to extend the life of a fridge that has been unplugged. Yes, I'm absolutely sure of that. No, you did not have to leave 2 messages about your concerns with the fridge being unplugged, and frankly it was a little embarrassing having the same conversation with you in my driveway where my neighbors could hear.

6. No, I don't have the operating instructions. I can write them down for you though: Plug fridge in. Open door. Put crap inside. Take crap out when it's cold. Eat or drink crap.

7. I am not a fridge pimp. I don't have any more fridges at that price.No i dont have one in a diffrent color to match your other appliances, No, I don't know where you can get another fridge just like this one for your friend. Yes, I know it's in great condition, and I'm sure you'd like your other crazy-as-bat-****-mini-fridge-finding-friends to have one just like it, but this is all I have. Here's a thought, there's this online classified ads website. Yeah, you may have heard of it, it's called CRAIGSLIST. I dunno, maybe, just maybe, in this great land of ours, there's another mini-fridge being advertised there.

8. Please remove my phone number from your address book. I think our relationship is over. Oh, and if you've added me to your AIM Buddy List, please delete me. Please. I beg you.


Yours truly,

the guy that gave you the fridge

Thats why I just throw stuff out.

But it looks like Brian had fun!:D

I agree.

Selling used items is not worth the BS.

But, I'm sure I could write a "Best of Craig's List" regarding my experiences in dealing with potential tenants.............

If you gave it to Illwill or the St Vinegar etc, etc, don't you get a tax writeoff?

I'll bet somebody could compile all those wise-assed and incredibly stupid ads on eBay & Craigslist, etc into a book and make money.

Here's your chance to get in on the ground floor, English-major entrepreneurs!

OMG that sounds like some of the freecycle people. :)

using the handy-dandy Google thingie, I discovered, on my own, the following:

Weight 52 lb. (19kg)
Length 61.42 in. (1,560 mm)
Width 9.84 in.(250 mm)

That means, "Do Not Hump".

Thaat's really funny, thanks for posting.

Crap, wrong thread! But glad you enjoyed it Mistress.

.........and I was thinking.........damn.........he's done it again.........I can't figure it out..........

Me too.....I'm too embarrassed to even approximate the time I spent trying to decipher the latest Bot riddle. It was like playing sudoku. Dimensions of the fridge? Damn, no. Size of the potential book-to-be-written? Damn, no.

And who wants to hump a fridge (besides Aklim)?

Thanks for pulling back the curtain Bot and solving the accidental puzzle. You know you're good when you can f&*k with people's mind by accident:D.

I had someone show up once to pick up some freecycle junk, and then he wanted a tour of the garage to see if I wanted to give him any more stuff.

God knows how many times I've done that and not known it!

.........humping a fridge........???

.........you're too old for that.........and I'm quite sure you'd have known it........

Only if its a go ugly early night.