Limerick thread
 

I'll start

There's a tavern in London that's staffed,
By a barmaid who's tops at her craft:
In her striving to please,
She serves ale on her knees,
So the patrons get head with their draft.

There once was a gal from Batas.
Who had a real fine ass.

Not round and pink.
As most men would think.

But large ears. A tail. And ate grass.

The king named Oedipus Rex
Who started this fuss about sex
Put the world to great pains
By the spots and the stains
Which he made on his mother's pubex.

There once was a man from Boston
Who drove here in a small Austin
There was room for his a$$
and a gallon of gas
But his balls fell out and he lost 'em

There was a young girl from Racine
Who washed out her c@#t with benzine
she lit up a match
to see her snatch
and thats the last she was seen.

I sat by the duchess at tea,
and it was just as I thought it would be
Her rumblings abdominal were simply phenomenal.
And everyone thought it was me.

There once was a liberated Ms.
Who thought herself a social Ws.
She had an invention
With equalizing intention
A method for standing to Ps.

There once was a girl named Jill
who used dynamite sticks for a thrill
They found her v@gina
in North Carolina
and bits of her t!ts in Brazil

A Decrepit old gasman named Peter,
while hunting around his gas heater,
touched a leak with his light.
He rose out of sight –
And, as everyone who knows anything about
poetry can tell you, he also ruined his meter.

There once was a boy named Mickey,
who liked to rub on his dickey
his dad told him to stop
but who listens to pop
now his hands are all stickey

There was a young lady from Seattle
whose hobby was sucking off cattle
but a bull from the south
left a wad in her mouth
that made both her ovaries rattle

Abuses of the Clergy...
 

There were three youing ladies from Birmingham,
And this is the scandal concerning 'em.
They lifted the frock
And tickled the cock
Of the Bishop engaged in confirming 'em.

Now, the bishop was nobody's fool,
He'd been to a good public school,
So he took down their britches
And buggered those *****es
With his ten-inch episcopal tool.

The up spoke a lady from Kew,
And said, as the Bishop withdrew,
"The vicar is quicker
And thicker and slicker,
And longer and stronger than you."

Oh she looked so fine in the midnight air
when the wind blew up her nightie
Her t1ts were hung like the balls of a bear
and he said Jesus Christ almighty

Doubless a regional variation of the old Choate rhyme..

Creepin'Jeeziz,Christ almighty.
A F*ckin'mouse crawled up my nightie...

He bit my tit and took a *****,
Creepin'Jeeziz,Christ almighty.

There was a young lad from Kent
with manhood so long that it bent.
To avoid any trouble
he put in in double
but instead of coming, he went.