Vent.. I don't know how to feel.... - PeachParts Mercedes-Benz Forum

AdvisorGuy · #1 09-11-2008, 04:27 PM

24 hours ago I get a call from a good friend's wife, she a friend as well with horrific news. He was arrested for conspiracy to have her killed on Tuesday night.... He apparently paid what turned out to be an undercover cop to have her killed. I just talked to him Monday night, as we generally talk every week or so. **** if he sounded like anything was wrong. The last few years they've been battling his wrongful termination from a company we both worked for (had to file bankruptcy) disability due to a wrist/shoulder injury and his wife's battling with unknown ailments. It sounded like things were slowly getting better and I get this news.
She's a mess. The kids are a mess (18 & 15). Granted I'm very removed geographically but I really don't know what to feel. I feel for her and the kids without doubt. I just don't know what to feel about him. Was this capability in him all along ? Did I misjudge the guy that he is ? Did he snap in some sense that he felt that with her illness and her possibly suggesting that she "wished it would end", it was the "best" thing ? Do I feel angry ? Do I reserve judgment until I know everything ?

I'm just so ****ed up right now I don't know what to feel..........

Dee8go · #2 09-11-2008, 04:33 PM

Boy, that's hard to say. That's such an extreme situation. I feel bad for everybody involved. Whatever else maybe true about him, this is a pretty deparate act. Of course you don't really know everything that goes on in their house. People can keep some pretty bad things a secret from even their best friends.

I am really sorry for those kids. I hate to see kids get caught up in stuff like this. It's pretty disheartening to feel like you know someone so well only to discover something as shocking as this.

AdvisorGuy · #3 09-11-2008, 04:51 PM

She left me a voice mail while my phone was in the car charging. Her message was vague but desperate for me to call. I thought that he had another heart attack - 39 and doesn't exactly take great care of himself. Had a minor one 3 years ago - and maybe died. When I called back, "Jr" answered and told me: "Mom is out at Home depot getting new locks. She called you because dad got arrested last night for trying to hire someone to kill her....." Out of a 15 year old's mouth..... I can't begin to imagine what going on in their heads. Press hounding in front of the house and all that. I think it's just sinking in 24 hours later and I'm lost...

kerry · #4 09-11-2008, 05:03 PM

Jeezuz! I'd have no idea what to think. Why did he do it? Insurance money? Anger? Brain tumor? Try to get as much of the story as you can before making any decisions. I'd talk to the wife and kids and try to talk to the guy in prison.

AdvisorGuy · #5 09-11-2008, 05:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kerry

Jeezuz! I'd have no idea what to think. Why did he do it? Insurance money? Anger? Brain tumor? Try to get as much of the story as you can before making any decisions. I'd talk to the wife and kids and try to talk to the guy in prison.

He's in Jersey on $750,000 cash or bond. No 10%. I've always known him to be a wheeler & dealer. A guy that knew how to take advantage of the "gray" areas but NEVER anything like this. Insurance ? Who knows. In a night of misery due to her ailments, did she "suggest" it and he carried thru without talking to her about it ? Who knows.....

A264172 · #6 09-11-2008, 05:26 PM

I think your feeling what a healthy person would... shocked.

Turns out your friend is probably a bastard.

Try to give his wife as much support as you can.

raymr · #7 09-11-2008, 05:34 PM

I would call her and make sure she is making logical decisions. I'm sure they are all freaking right now, much more than you are.

Calls for a shot of whiskey or two.

AdvisorGuy · #8 09-11-2008, 05:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by raymr

I would call her and make sure she is making logical decisions. I'm sure they are all freaking right now, much more than you are.

Calls for a shot of whiskey or two.

Spoke to her yesterday and earlier today. Probably call her later as well...

blackestate · #9 09-11-2008, 06:20 PM

You should recomend that she go stay with family, I could not imagine being alone after this. Lucky he got caught before, not after.

kip Foss · #10 09-11-2008, 06:22 PM

Remember that Jeffry Dhmer was loved by his neighbors. There was no end of people at his trial willing to give him character references. John Wayne Gasey was a clown and loved by his neighbors. That you could not suspect him capable of doing this does not, by any stretch of the imagination, mean that he was not capable of it. We have all seen the tv programs where, calm as can be, a wife/husband tries to hire a hitman to do in the spouse. She/he spares no details in telling the would be assassin how the dead is done, and where and when to make the hit, etc., etc.

Stand back from the scene, let the dust settle, see if you can get a copy of the police report, and then make a decision.

t walgamuth · #11 09-11-2008, 07:16 PM

YOur friend is probably mentally ill. Perhaps the heart attack killed some crucial brain cells in him.

Be there for the family and if you talk to him don't let him get you to promise to do anything.

Best of luck with a very very tough situation.

Tom W

Hatterasguy · #12 09-11-2008, 08:47 PM

The normal people always do the shocking stuff.

IMHO I'd recomend that she went to stay with family for a bit, or have some of her family come to her house to stay with her.

SwampYankee · #13 09-12-2008, 09:05 AM

Holy $h!t, that's rough. And the poor kids are stuck in the middle. Hopefully you can get more info to help you deal with everything going on. On the surface it sure doesn't look good for him.

Dee8go · #14 09-12-2008, 09:08 AM

The wife and kids need to be with some family just for the emotional support. Those kids must feel like their world is collapsing about now. I'm sure I can't even begin to imagine how they feel.

davestlouis · #15 09-12-2008, 11:31 AM

You just never know what's going on in someone's head. I for one am much happier not knowing. You see cases in the paper where the plot is discovered beforehand, and you see some where the perpetrators get caught, but I wonder how many people are craftier than that, and get away with it.

The variation on that plan is the one where the husband shoots and kills the wife, then shoots and wounds himself, trying to make it look like an accident...dumbass.

There was a case in the local paper yesterday where a 57 year old woman was getting ready to evict her adult son and his GF from the house they shared, so the son promised a buddy of his $10K from the life insurance proceeds to pop his mother. The killer took $100 as a down payment, shot the woman in the face and killed her. Somehow the plot was discovered and the shooter, the son, and the GF are all going bye-bye for a long time.

I really feel bad for the kids, their lives are going to change dramatically and not for the better.