Stupid things car dealers have said to you? - PeachParts Mercedes-Benz Forum

TylerH860 · #1 09-15-2008, 07:08 PM

This painful experience of shopping for a new Jeep Rubicon has really left me questioning the future of humanity. My father absolutely hates car shopping, and had given me the task of finding his new Jeep for the ski home in Colorado. I'm quick to oblige since it gets me out of the office for the day. Being a former car salesman I kind of enjoy giving these folks the runaround. To make the deal even sweeter, I was trying to throw in my trouble plagued 2003 X5 to trade in for some cash.

Let me preface this by saying I am no Jeep expert, but did less than an hour worth of research before going to three local dealers. We were looking for a white or silver 2008 Jeep Wrangler Rubicon Unlimited (4 door) with a manual transmission, and all the options minus navigation. These are the events to the best of my recollection.

The first dealer I went to was the largest one in the area. I told the guy exactly what I wanted, and he immediately did a search in the area, no muss, no fuss, very knowledgeable/professional, obviously been around for a while. He found a white one relatively close, and priced it out for me at sticker price minus rebate and a $750.00 discount.

Me: Is that your best price?
Goon1: Yes, this a great price for this Jeep. At ......, we don't jerk you around haggling with the price, we just hand out deals.
Me: How is it a good deal when it’s barely off sticker minus rebate?
Goon1: Well, these Jeeps don't have a lot of markup, since they’re kind of bare bones vehicles. Something like a fully loaded *don't remember* we can take thousands off.
Me: Well, I have a trade.... a 2003 X5 4.4i.

(takes the information... bids it at $15,000... a lowball, but I keep calm)

Goon1: Well, have we earned your business today?
Me: I don't know yet, I still have two more dealers to go. I'm trying to find the best deal.
Goon1: What would it take for me to earn your business now?
Me: You can't. I'll definitely give you another shot after I talk to the dealers.
Goon1: Well, at least let me go get my manager to talk to you.

(I stand up, but oblige, wait for the manager)

ManagementGoon1: (introduces himself) We would really like to earn your business now. What if I were to take $1,000 more off the Jeep?
Me: If you can, that would be great, but I'm still going to other dealers.
MgtGoon1: I'm also waiting to hear back from a sister BMW dealership we have in Colorado that should help us bump up your trade.
Me: Great. Give me a call and let me know.

I'm just about to leave when the manager walks back out the door. He claims to have just heard from the BMW dealership and they were willing to buy my car for $17,000, and asked me again to come back inside. I thanked him for his efforts and left, clearly seeing the entire time he never touched a phone.

The next dealership was clear on the other side of town, and much smaller. The salesman was young, and green. I told him I wanted a Jeep Rubicon Unlimited and listed the options. With a blank look on his face, he tells me they have exactly what I’m looking for, and takes me to a 2 door Jeep Rubicon automatic. I reiterate what I want to him, just in case he missed it.

Goon2: Well, I can give you an awesome deal on this one.
Me: That won’t work… This isn’t for me, and my father is very picky. Another dealer found what I’m looking for using a dealer trade, why don’t we just see if you can beat their price?

(I show him the sheet from the other dealer)

Goon2: I’m sure we can beat this. (leads me inside) What we can do is get you to do all the paperwork and a deposit so we can get the Jeep in.
Me: How much are you going to sell it to me for?
Goon 2:We won’t know exactly until we get the Jeep in, but I know we can beat this dealer by at least $1,000.
Me: (flabbergasted) There’s no way that’s going to happen, I have a trade in as well.
Goon 2: Oh… we won’t do that until the Jeep gets here too.

I make a quick excuse and walk out the door. Surprisingly, the biggest moron in sales is yet to come.

The third dealer was even smaller, and way out in a rural area. I’m greeted by a dumpy, tattered looking salesman who immediately escorts me to his office. I give him the abridged version of the situation, but he goes into robot mode and starts asking for information.

Goon3: (requests name, address, and phone number)
Me: (I oblige)
Goon3: You say you’re looking for a Jeep Rubicon?
Me: Yes
Goon3: Two wheel drive or four wheel drive.
Me: All Jeep Wrangler Rubicons are four wheel drive. I have a list of the options I want, (give him my build sheet)
Goon3: Oh Ok, where do you work?

(I look down at his quiz sheet and see all the pre-qualifying questions. How long have I lived at my address, how much money I make, etc.)

Me: You don’t need to pre-qualify me, this is going to be a cash deal.
Goon3: I have to do this. The management makes me.
Me: I don’t have time for this; can we just speak to a manager?

Goon3 takes me over to manager’s desk, sitting near the front door on a platform elevated about 5 feet above the showroom floor. I give the manager the information, but he can’t find the same 2008 or a similar one in the area, so he builds and prices a 2009 at a pretty good deal considering there are no rebates. Unfortunately, they only bid the X5 at $15,000, and wouldn’t budge.

TylerH860 · #2 09-15-2008, 07:08 PM

After many hours of dealing with car sales bull, I was getting fairly exhausted, but decided to head back to Goon1. He gives an unusually warm greeting.

Goon1: I knew you would be back. That’s why we were sure to put a hold on the Jeep so nobody sells it.

SO THAT’S WHY THE OTHER DEALER COULDN’T FIND THE JEEP! These geniuses put a hold on it so no one else could play ball.

I explained how the other dealer was willing to sell a ’09 for quite a bit less than this ’08, and would need to match their discount with the rebate. Surprisingly, he went back to the business office, and came back within $250.00 of the 2009, before rebates. I thanked him for his time, and told him we would probably be back next week to finish the deal.

Goon1: (clearly dissatisfied) If you wait until then, the rebates will go away. You have to do the paperwork before tomorrow. (the end of the month)

Me: Well, my father is out of town and we have to think this over. If that’s what happens, so be it, but I doubt the rebates will go away.

The middle of the following week my father is ready to go in and do the paperwork. I call goon1 to give him the heads up, and try to get as much done as possible so dad doesn’t have to spend much time there. I knew from the internet that the rebates were $500.00 better this month. Being coy, I asked Goon1 if they had changed, to which he responded, no. When I finally made it to the dealer with my father, I immediately told management goon1 that the rebates were $500.00 more than last month and expected the extra, giving the salesmen a nice surprise.

The biggest moron during this entire experience was in the business office. The trainee clearly had no idea how to do a simple cash transaction. My father was not very polite.

FinanceGoon1: We need to get the title to the X5, who is your lender?
Dad: The X5 is paid off; I have the title right here. (hands finance goon title)
FinanceGoon1: So what do you owe on the X5?
Dad: Nothing. I just gave you the title; I own the car. I owe nothing.
FinanceGoon1: Have you thought about what kind of financing you’re looking for on your new Jeep.
Dad: I don’t need to finance. This is a cash deal. Where do I sign?
FinanceGoon1: Well, you need to at least know your options. We have some very good finance incentives right …(dad cuts him off)
Dad: Why the hell do I need to know your finance options when I’m paying cash? Let’s get this over with already.
FinanceGoon1: Okay sir. Let’s look over this paperwork and make sure everything looks okay to you.
Me: You’re missing the extra $500.00 rebate.

(10 minutes of waiting later we had a new sheet with the extra $500.00 off)

Dad: Why do you have gap insurance on here?
FinanceGoon1: Well, if something happens to the Jeep…(stops himself when he sees my dad’s face turning red and realizes his own mistake)…let me take this off.

(10 minutes later we had a new sheet with the GAP insurance removed, dad signs them)

FinanceGoon1: Now let me tell you about some fantastic extended warranty deals we have for your new Jeep.
Dad: I have never bought an extended warranty and I never will. I will probably sell this thing before the factory warranty is up.
FinanceGoon1: Well, Paul, you should know that not only will this help with your resale value, but it will ensure you don’t have any costly repairs. Do you know how much a new transmission costs?
Dad: I don’t care. This car is going to sit up at my vacation home and barely get used. I will not buy an extended warranty. Understand?
FinanceGoon1: Well, you are going to need to maintain this Jeep to keep your factory warranty. Our dealership offers a great service package saving you…
Dad: (Getting Irate) Are you deaf or something? THE CAR WILL NOT BE IN THIS STATE! I’m not going to drive it 10 hours back so you guys can change the oil! (Dad stands up, and stomps out of the office)

…and I’m left hanging with the finance goon. He tries to explain to me that he is required to do this for everyone, and I gave a sympathetic response. Dad returns with the manager goon, who asks to speak to the finance goon private. He returns much more cooperative, and the deal is FINALLY done!

Anyone else have some good knucklehead car sales/service stories?

iwrock · #3 09-15-2008, 07:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TylerH860

After many hours of dealing with car sales bull, I was getting fairly exhausted, but decided to head back to Goon1. He gives an unusually warm greeting.

Goon1: I knew you would be back. That’s why we were sure to put a hold on the Jeep so nobody sells it.

SO THAT’S WHY THE OTHER DEALER COULDN’T FIND THE JEEP! These geniuses put a hold on it so no one else could play ball.

I explained how the other dealer was willing to sell a ’09 for quite a bit less than this ’08, and would need to match their discount with the rebate. Surprisingly, he went back to the business office, and came back within $250.00 of the 2009, before rebates. I thanked him for his time, and told him we would probably be back next week to finish the deal.

Goon1: (clearly dissatisfied) If you wait until then, the rebates will go away. You have to do the paperwork before tomorrow. (the end of the month)

Me: Well, my father is out of town and we have to think this over. If that’s what happens, so be it, but I doubt the rebates will go away.

The middle of the following week my father is ready to go in and do the paperwork. I call goon1 to give him the heads up, and try to get as much done as possible so dad doesn’t have to spend much time there. I knew from the internet that the rebates were $500.00 better this month. Being coy, I asked Goon1 if they had changed, to which he responded, no. When I finally made it to the dealer with my father, I immediately told management goon1 that the rebates were $500.00 more than last month and expected the extra, giving the salesmen a nice surprise.

The biggest moron during this entire experience was in the business office. The trainee clearly had no idea how to do a simple cash transaction. My father was not very polite.

FinanceGoon1: We need to get the title to the X5, who is your lender?
Dad: The X5 is paid off; I have the title right here. (hands finance goon title)
FinanceGoon1: So what do you owe on the X5?
Dad: Nothing. I just gave you the title; I own the car. I owe nothing.
FinanceGoon1: Have you thought about what kind of financing you’re looking for on your new Jeep.
Dad: I don’t need to finance. This is a cash deal. Where do I sign?
FinanceGoon1: Well, you need to at least know your options. We have some very good finance incentives right …(dad cuts him off)
Dad: Why the hell do I need to know your finance options when I’m paying cash? Let’s get this over with already.
FinanceGoon1: Okay sir. Let’s look over this paperwork and make sure everything looks okay to you.
Me: You’re missing the extra $500.00 rebate.

(10 minutes of waiting later we had a new sheet with the extra $500.00 off)

Dad: Why do you have gap insurance on here?
FinanceGoon1: Well, if something happens to the Jeep…(stops himself when he sees my dad’s face turning red and realizes his own mistake)…let me take this off.

(10 minutes later we had a new sheet with the GAP insurance removed, dad signs them)

FinanceGoon1: Now let me tell you about some fantastic extended warranty deals we have for your new Jeep.
Dad: I have never bought an extended warranty and I never will. I will probably sell this thing before the factory warranty is up.
FinanceGoon1: Well, Paul, you should know that not only will this help with your resale value, but it will ensure you don’t have any costly repairs. Do you know how much a new transmission costs?
Dad: I don’t care. This car is going to sit up at my vacation home and barely get used. I will not buy an extended warranty. Understand?
FinanceGoon1: Well, you are going to need to maintain this Jeep to keep your factory warranty. Our dealership offers a great service package saving you…
Dad: (Getting Irate) Are you deaf or something? THE CAR WILL NOT BE IN THIS STATE! I’m not going to drive it 10 hours back so you guys can change the oil! (Dad stands up, and stomps out of the office)

…and I’m left hanging with the finance goon. He tries to explain to me that he is required to do this for everyone, and I gave a sympathetic response. Dad returns with the manager goon, who asks to speak to the finance goon private. He returns much more cooperative, and the deal is FINALLY done!

Anyone else have some good knucklehead car sales/service stories?

Yeah.... I got a few, but no really good ones.

We know the managers of all the local large stealerships around here.

engatwork · #4 09-15-2008, 07:41 PM

I have been to a couple dealers lots over the last couple of months and I have had two salesmen tell me that automatics get better mileage than manual transmissions.

450slcguy · #5 09-15-2008, 08:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by engatwork

I have been to a couple dealers lots over the last couple of months and I have had two salesmen tell me that automatics get better mileage than manual transmissions.

Some do. The actual difference is very minimal and most of it has to do with the person's driving habits more than anything else.

tonkovich · #6 09-15-2008, 08:21 PM

well, i recently bought a nissan pickup (for work) which was thankfully financed by a "rich uncle" who sent me a cashiers check (payment in full)

i dealt with the dealer over the phone, who told me all about finance options (cash, buddy? cash!) and then said we should make a deposit since it might not be there in two days. (checked out the carfax - truck had been there two months)

anyway, managed to conclude the world's easiest sale ever recorded in history i think? in a mere two hours? after listening to all manner of lame sales pitches for warranties and add-ons and the history of carmax and the salesman's oh so interesting private life, and signing the war and peace of paperwork, and ignoring the loose plastic console cover which they could not figure out how to remount properly (hey, its a work truck, what do i care, foolish to mention it, but they are repair "professionals", who i definitely want to visit again to work on say, the engine and transmission under the extended warranty(no thanks

), since they can't even re-mount a piece of plastic)

oh the truck runs fine, shifts smoothly, rides rough when empty (big surprise) and gets 21-22 mpg in the city. (5spd, 4 cyl.) (its no benz)

definitely not the sharpest knives in the...

79Mercy · #7 09-15-2008, 08:21 PM

I really crappy forgien mechanic broke my under dash panel about 6 years ago. I get in the car and the panel is touching my feet when I press the pedal so i bring it back to him:

Me: My underdash panel touches my feet when I use the pedals
crappy tech: they break like cookie
Me: fix it
crappy tech: can't, break like cookie
Me: order me a new cookie
crappy tech: can't, it wasn't my fault it broke
Me: yes it was, order me a new panel
crappy tech: okay, i'll call you when I get it

I never got a new one as epected so I replaced it with one from a junkyard. I wasn't really worried about it since a new only cost me 20.

compress ignite · #8 09-15-2008, 08:30 PM

'Given the enormous propensity of "Sales Weasels"(Salespersons,Managers,F+I
persons,Etc.)to do everything possible to prevent automobile sales from occuring...
What percentage of Detriot's Inevitable UpComing Collapse can be attributed to their Stupidity?

Ara T. · #9 09-15-2008, 08:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 450slcguy

Some do. The actual difference is very minimal and most of it has to do with the person's driving habits more than anything else.

True.. it is very moronic when that happens. The automatics usually do get better gas mileage because they are geared taller. The manuals for alot of cars nowadays are geared quite short even though they may have 6 gears. Whether it be for performance, or because manufacturers think people are too dumb to downshift if they need more power to pass a car, or both, i dont know.

DieselAddict · #10 09-15-2008, 08:41 PM

I'm currently helping my wife find a car and at just about every dealer we visited we got a rookie salesman who didn't now anything. It seems that this industry has a very high turn-over rate and that's probably something that contributes to the overall stupidity.

The last car I bought from a dealer was my Jetta and that went relatively smooth and quick, probably because it started as an internet deal and it was a used car. But I do remember in my previous purchases having to deal with the finance dept and extended warranties, none of which I wanted and it was aggravating having to sit through the whole charade which included the salesman repeatedly going to the manager and making us wait for a long time. In my experience the most pleasant car purchases are usually private-party deals.

Since66 · #11 09-15-2008, 10:10 PM

"Listen Sam, this is a MERCEDES! They never need repair and they last FOREVER!"

Hatterasguy · #12 09-15-2008, 10:13 PM

I wish I could afford to buy a car from a dealer!

Every car I have bought has been private party.

The next car I buy will be a $5k pick up for work, from the dealers auction. Dealers auctions have some good deals.

bob_98sr5 · #13 09-16-2008, 12:12 AM

when i was a college student, i drove my civic to the dealership to get some small parts. the eager salesman w/ a heavy middle eastern accent i could not quite perceive starts talking to me about trading in that 'girl car' for a honda passport. after a lot of stupid song and dance, his closing pitch was to knock on the hood, then he paused for a small breath and said "TOUGH!"

Jim Anderson · #14 09-16-2008, 12:14 AM

Salesman: Interested in buying a car?

Me: I'm going on vacation soon.

Salesman: Take it with you!

Me: I'm going to Hawaii.

OldPokey · #15 09-16-2008, 12:54 AM

We bought a 2006 Subaru in 2007 for cash - but still had to run the extended warranty gauntlet:

Finance Guy: Let's talk financing
Me. No - I will write a check.
Finance Guy: We will need a cashier's check, but if you finance the car you can take it today.
Me. Never mind - we'll go to the other dealer
Finance Guy; Ummm - let me check with my manager.

Manager: OK, we'll accept your check, let's talk about the extended warranty.
Me: Why? Is this 2006 not any good? Won't it last 200K like the 1994 I have parked out front?
Manager: Oh no, no, no - Subaru makes wonderful cars - they never break down.
Me: OK - so I don't need a warranty - just tell me how much I should write the check out for.

etc...