I need to know how to tell someone politley that I can't see their kid. Ever. This is a girl I met in high school, but I havent seen her since 2005, but we have talked on the phone. She has always led kind of a messed up life. two years ago she had a baby and unfortunatley the baby contacted herpes from her. This child now gets breakouts all over his body. I do not want to risk getting anything even though she claims that it is only contagious when he breaks out. lately she has been calling more and trying to get me to come over and meet her son, but I have made excuses. Is there a way without makeing her hate me to tell her that I do not want to do this?

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1984 300SD Orient Red/ Palomino
1989 560SEC
2016 Mazda 6 6 speed manual
1995 Ford F-150 reg cab 4.9 5speed manual

My God,Man! I though you moved away from the trailer park?

All kidding aside,she obviously has,shall we say,Issues...

Don't allow yourself to be sucked in her personal maelstrom.

It's fairly plain what her priorities are,don't give her the chance to attempt to make that little bundle of purulent joy yours as well.
Just chat with her on the phone in diminishing increments in a non-committal sort of way.

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break ties man.

We chat on and off. I havent actually seen her since 2005, and can go a year without talking to her on the phone, but outta the blue I'll get a call from her and all I hear is how she is in a lawsuit and her baby daddy is mad at her and blah blah blah. I don't want to be a d-bag, but I don't want herpes either.

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1984 300SD Orient Red/ Palomino
1989 560SEC
2016 Mazda 6 6 speed manual
1995 Ford F-150 reg cab 4.9 5speed manual

and biology researcher, my strictly professional question is this. Are you doing ANYTHING to exchange body fluids, on any level, with either her or the kid? I'm NOT judging you, all I am saying is don't do it anymore.

If you are worried about doorknobs or toilet seats, here is a foolproof at home solution (literally.)

Get an empty 1 gallon jug, pour in 1/4 of a cup of Clorox (or your favorite chlorine bleach, NOT non chlorine bleach.) Fill the jug to the top with tap water for a total of one gallon of anti microbe solution. LET IT SIT for about one hour. Use this as a damp wiping solution on a cloth that you don't mind loosing the color. The surface to be cleaned does NOT need to be dripping or puddled, just damp, then let it air dry. No matter what the "Doctors don't know $*!t" crowd might tell you, there is NO known bacteria, virus or fungus able to survive this treatment.


ON AN OFF NOTE-- Do you think she'll try and say the kid is yours?

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1987 300D (230,000 mi on a #14 head-watching the temp gauge and keeping the ghost in the machine)
Raleigh NC - Home of deep fried sushi!

I have never met this kid. And HECK NO!!! we are not exchanging any bodily fluids. This is a girl I met when in HS and she was nice but kinda messed up and still is. We know who the father is and I personally think he is only around due to the lawsuits pending with the doctors. She just keeps pressuring me to come see her kid and I just dont know how to tell her that I really dont want to. She has genital herpes, and I am not really worried about contracting it from her. She had a breakout during giving birth and her baby now has it all over his body. Its really sad. I am worried that there is a way to contract it just by being in the freakin house where this little guy plays and runs around and get into anything like a normal two year old does. It would be nice to see her kid, but I cant get rid of herpes if I get it.

__________________
1984 300SD Orient Red/ Palomino
1989 560SEC
2016 Mazda 6 6 speed manual
1995 Ford F-150 reg cab 4.9 5speed manual

Take some time to educate yourself about herpes. Just tell her that you wouldn't mind meeting the kid but you're completely clean and don't want to risk infection.

I'm pretty sure you can't get herpes from casual contact or through the air. It's pretty easy, just don't touch him if he has a breakout...

If he's around 2 YO, he may be a candidate for Valtrex suppressive therapy but it's the mother's responsibility to talk to a doc about that...

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-Evan


Benz Fleet:
1968 UNIMOG 404.114
1998 E300
2008 E63


Non-Benz Fleet:
1992 Aerostar
1993 MR2
2000 F250

Tell her you are in a committed relationship with another guy who has a thing for young kids. That's going to scare the hell out of her.

Better yet. Tell her how you are thinking of being a roman catholic priest because of the "benefits" of being around young boys. If that doesn't do it, nothing will

__________________
01 Ford Excursion Powerstroke
99 E300 Turbodiesel
91 Vette with 383 motor
05 Polaris Sportsman 800 EFI
06 Polaris Sportsman 500 EFI
03 SeaDoo GTX SC Red
03 SeaDoo GTX SC Yellow
04 Tailgator 21 ft Toy Hauler
11 Harley Davidson 883 SuperLow

You don't have much to worry about, except the way you want to say 'no.' You can NOT get it from being in the same room. You CAN get it from drinking after or using the same utensils. You can also get it from skin to skin contact.

As for a legal case, I did have a boss who is now a medical attorney. If she said, or indicated, in her medical record that she does not have herpes, there might not be much of a case. The only hope would be if the OB/GYN knew she was positive and withheld a C-section on purpose.

__________________
1987 300D (230,000 mi on a #14 head-watching the temp gauge and keeping the ghost in the machine)
Raleigh NC - Home of deep fried sushi!

You don't think the standard of care was breached by failing to test a single mother for herpes? What if the ob is the same one the girl has used for years, and he has failed to diagnose prior to the birth?

I'm not sure about that one. Is herpes a standard test for women who are pregnant?

Would that matter if she failed to disclose that to him somehow and didn't have an outbreak during her visits?

__________________
01 Ford Excursion Powerstroke
99 E300 Turbodiesel
91 Vette with 383 motor
05 Polaris Sportsman 800 EFI
06 Polaris Sportsman 500 EFI
03 SeaDoo GTX SC Red
03 SeaDoo GTX SC Yellow
04 Tailgator 21 ft Toy Hauler
11 Harley Davidson 883 SuperLow

When this girl was prenant, she had an outbreak, and she didnt know she had herpes. She asked her doctor what it was and he said it was nothing but a small infection of some sorts. She had the baby normally and passed it to him sadly. She is now in suit with this doctor, which will be his third. He apparently left a sponge in a lady during some surgery. I was told by this girl that herpes is only contagious during an outbreak, but someone else told me that it was more contagious right before a breakout.

__________________
1984 300SD Orient Red/ Palomino
1989 560SEC
2016 Mazda 6 6 speed manual
1995 Ford F-150 reg cab 4.9 5speed manual

Guess he is going down for malpractice. Hope he has his insurance paid up.

Whoops. Not so good.

HERPES. The gift that goes on giving

__________________
01 Ford Excursion Powerstroke
99 E300 Turbodiesel
91 Vette with 383 motor
05 Polaris Sportsman 800 EFI
06 Polaris Sportsman 500 EFI
03 SeaDoo GTX SC Red
03 SeaDoo GTX SC Yellow
04 Tailgator 21 ft Toy Hauler
11 Harley Davidson 883 SuperLow

you say you talk to her on occassion on the phone,so i take it you haven't met in person lately.if so tell her your moving then change phone service and get a new number,and don't give it out to anybody that knows her.

You are dancing around questions which you have already answered. It is clear that: one, there is no big attachment between you two; two, you don't want to take a chance on getting herpes; three, this girl and her situation is pretty much a dead end and one in which you don't want to get involved; and four, it doesn't seem that you OWE this girl anything even though you have known her for some years.

If all the above are true, there is your answer. Cut and run. A lifetime is a long time to suffer herpes. I have a friend that just had an eruption of shingles-a close kin of herpes and chicken pox-and it is something that you really don't want any part of. If you do contact herpes from her kid do you think she can or will be of any help?

There is no cure for herpes and I am sure that by the time they find a remedy the disease will have mutated into something that will eat the new drugs for breakfast. I have oral herpes and although it has been years since I have had a bad eruption but I can tell you with all sincerity that there is no pain like having a mouth full, as in 5-10, of these little joys. Left alone the last 2 week; treated they go away in about 14 days.

The best way to get out of this situation is to tell the young lady how you feel, and that you have a life ahead of you which does not include herpes.